Movie Review: Barfi!

September 17, 2012 4 Comments

There is a point in the movie where Barfi, sitting in a store room, is carving Shruti’s name on a “Prestige Pressure Cooker” (jo apni biwi se kare pyaar, wo prestige se kaise kare inkaar), and he notices her inside the shop. As he tries to confirm, the camera pans and moves from blinds to blinds till Barfi is sure. Shruti Sengupta looks like a Bengali baudi should, and Barfi approaches her. But stops, and takes out his comb and gets his appearance right. He tries to whistle but obviously, he doesn’t know that his whistle is silent. And then Shruti turns around. They make eye contact and Shruti goes through a series of conflicting emotions interrupted by the honking of her husband Ranjit, and Barfi carries the pressure cooker for her to outside the shop – that 90-120 second montage of emotions – that’s poetry. And that’s Barfi – four cheese fondue – dipped in four of the nine rasas – shringar, hasya, karuna, and adbhut.

The theatre erupts, holds its breath, sighs, and (almost) cries with Barfi. It amuses you, and keeps you smiling throughout. It makes you draw parallels with several things without ever slowing down so much so that you start caring about the parallel more than you care about Barfi. It tries to be a thriller in the middle, and while you cringe about the villain being too much of a villain, it finds the hero inside them as well.

The music blends so beautifully that you almost don’t notice it. The lyrics are poetic and situational. The sound is Darjeeling. Remember the fresh feel of kashto maza from Parineeta. Barfi’s soundtrack is made up of quite a few of those light in the middle and effervescent at the outside poignant songs. In fact, as discussed offline, the soundtrack sounds more like Shantanu Moitra than Pritam.

The tragedy is never overplayed, nor the deformities. The lack of dialogues does not bother you. Ileana’s voiceover is a good supplement, administered as required. And it’s not soppy to the point where you feel like it’s a rooting for the underdog movie. The screenplay is tight and lucid, even though it gets into a two-three layered flashback at certain points.

While it is brutal to compare it to “The Artist”, but the artist of this movie, while imitating Chaplin and Rowan Atkinson, has left a searing imprint on bollywood. Ranbir Kapoor is brilliant. Make that – BRILLIANT. I won’t analyze further.

Special mention for Ileana who is breathtakingly beautiful without looking unreal, Priyanka who’s making half the industry wonder how did she pull this one off. The world’s wondering what might have happened had she pulled off What’s Your Rashee and Saat Khoon Maaf in a similar fashion. She does go overboard a few times, but is, on the overall, very very good.

Anurag Basu has figured out that the three musicians (three blind mice?) in the background are his lucky charm. They were there in Life in a Metro, and they’re here too. He indulges himself. Not just once. But you will forgive him for that. For many of my generation, the throwback on the eighties and nineties is nice, albeit exaggerated. And thankfully, it’s a prop, and not the point.

The movie, in a very Masand like preachiness, is not without its flaws. It runs longer than it should, and there are stretches where you would want to gloss over rather than go through it again and again. But then, which classic have you read where there aren’t a few pages of creative self indulgence! There are times when Barfi’s Chaplin moments could have been snipped out, but then, they keep the theater light as well. It’s almost sad to see Ashish Vidyarthi becoming a shadow of what he could have been, but then, it wasn’t a movie for him. Biggest gripe I have is – Ileana does not speak Hindi the way Bongs would. While it probably does not matter, but with so much of the region thrown in here and there juts for the flavor, it would have helped to get some of those details right (the way Kahanii did). Saurabh Shukla is good, but then again, the region is missing from the dialect. Considering that he and Ileana have most of the dialogues in the movie, it would have been good to have. The level of detailing leaves a lot, but that’s not going to be a complaint you carry as you leave the theater.

Some of the emotions are left unexplained. And that’s good. I won’t tell you which ones.

By the way, I do think that an older Ranbir will look exactly as he’s shown in the movie. And Ileana looks so gracefully old. Good job by the makeup artists for not turning them into caricatures.

Endnote: Lovely movie. A 9 on 10. When you come out, you stay silent, and in your zone for a bit. And that zone is a happy place. So, please watch it.

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Movie Review: Ek Tha Tiger

August 15, 2012 7 Comments

It’s almost an insulting thing to do. An attempt to review Salman’s movies of late. It is. And yet, with my love for his irreverent acts, I do it. However, I have realized how to solve for it.
From here on, if I do a rating on his movies, I would use a rating scale of 1 to 5 salmans, instead of 1 to 5 stars or something like that. How much of Salman-ism did you see in the movie. And on that token, I think Dabangg was a solid 5 Salmans, Wanted was 4, Ready was 4 and Bodyguard was 3.5 or so. Each of these is a MEGA HIT. So, my conclusion right now is that a movie which has more than 3 Salmans rating will easily cross 100Cr+

Now, to ETT – Its a 3.5 Salman movie. My prophesy puts this one close to 200Cr.

This one actually has a plot, and if they had kept the topsy turviness for a bit more, it would have been great for the movie. They could have snipped a couple of emotional scenes for that.
This one has a brilliant Salman. It has some awesome action and chase sequences. Now, one of the gold standards for me is the initial chase sequence in Bond’s Casino Royale when Daniel Craig chases the dude forever. This one, due to the lack of similar athleticism, tries to make do with slo-mo camera work. And there’s more than one of them chases in the movie. SO, that was kinda neat. I think, and I think I am alone in thinking so – Katrina was brilliant in the movie. Some part of her accent still kills the dialogue, but for most part of the movie, she was the perfect foil to Salman. And believe you me – during the action sequences, I heard as many hoots and whistles for her as there were for Salman. So, dear body double of Katrina for the jumps and hoops, you were brilliant.

The let down is the music. This one does not have a Munni or a dheela character. Mashallah is an afterthought. The rest of the songs are not sticky. And in some ways, spoil the pace of the movie.

Kabir Khan’s life is not going to get bigger than this. I don’t think he has talent. I think he is an average guy with better than average luck on his side.

Ranvir Shorey is wasted, and barring a couple of scenes, Girish Karnad too. The movie is all about Salman. And Katrina. Katrina – you’re finally coming of age. And if my movie reviews are worth much, than you can see how my opinion of you has been evolving steadily. Just as your career.

Sallu bhai – tussi too much ho. Too much.

Dear Readers – those of you who love Sallu bhai – this movie, again, is a must watch. However, this time, the pseudo intellectuals can give it a try as well. I don’t think I know any real intellectuals visiting this blog – so I think I can skip that part.

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Supermen, Untouchables, and Cocktails

July 16, 2012 7 Comments

I had a mixed bag weekend. Of the three movies that I watched, two left me speechless, and the third left me speechless too.

Let’s start the evening with Cocktails

I will start with the worst one. It is called Cocktail. It starred a star who’s started looking like a teen din purana naan (3-day old stale naan) – layers of rubber that stretch all you want without breaking, and is a bad idea for a good meal – Saif Ali. You can keep chewing on it, but it won’t get over. No, it won’t. Like this movie. Naan-sense movies should not be given ratins, but Naan-rating. It also stars Ms. Deepika Padukone, who I believe is going to be the biggest whistleblower for the industry someday (given the number of guys she has been associated with and actually knows a good deal about the performance(s) of). And then there is the new girl – Diana Penty. Enough has been said about her surname already, so I will spare her on that one. One of the things I have inferred about casting in bollywood is this – when they audition someone for a lead actress role, they surely would be asking a lot of questions – including surname, most likely. They definitely check your looks, the length of your legs, and the length of the shortest thing you’d wear to cover those legs. But somewhere they forget to ask a question, which should be the question – Can you act? That’s the only justification for Aishwarya, Deepika, Katrina, and the likes. Diana seems to be a protege of the Katrina school, and Deepika is already on her way to be the next Katrina. Deepika is in a hurry though, and started trying out acting too soon, I think. Why don’t you just come, do some jiggy wiggy chiggy wiggy, and get to take the hero home in the end? Agar yehi safedi, yahi jhaag, kam daamo mein mile to koi wo kyon le, ye na le? Btw, that slice advertisement that runs during every big cinema movie interval (yeah, the one with Katrina Kaif), could well be a saree, a condom, a vacation, or well, as an afterthought, a mango drink ad. It’s funny how the creative directors thought of the last option as the first.

The movie is so bad that there is only one thing that saved it from my wrath. The audience. Right behind me, we had a rather “vocal journalist” from burrp. He ensured that his reaction to every scene of the movie could be measured by the quality of his burrps. For a bad scene, two resounding burrps, and a small tiny one for the less harming scenes. Also, there were enough people in the theater who found something funny in every other scene. I envy them. They can find joy where none exists. They all are the true hermits. Siddhartha! Nevertheless, I shall move on to the joy that I could discover. On a somewhat positive note, the song Jugni was quite good. And finally, I conclude, it’s band jawani (of band baaja kinds). Not banned jawani, or behan jawani, or pained jawani, or something else.

From Naan to Supermen

What a movie!!! Really… Malegaon ka Superman runs close to 70 minutes or so. Getting up early and driving to Juhu was all worth the effort (and without breakfast too). Even PVR’s extremely messed up service level that early in the morning (9AM) could not take the taste away. The movie is almost a docu-movie. Handheld cameras, shaky angles, unplanned shots, candid camera moments, and the works. Loaded with innocence, the irony of movie making, an entire expose on 50K-100K movies, rural aspirations, society and life, the contradictions that people live every day, the small joys that keep them going. It never seems like the cast is acting, because most likely, they are not. Or maybe they are, and they are just too good. There is a point in the movie where the camera falls in water and the shoot is cancelled. Naseer, the director, is absolutely devastated who keeps convincing himself that it will be fine. And while keeping at it positively, he also keeps talking about the shooting delays of 2 days it might cause. All this while, the poor superman, shivering with cold, is floating on water on a tyre tube, trying to wade himself to the shore. That sequence tugs so hard at you with its poignant and ironical sense of humor that’s difficult to explain. The scene where the cinema (or video parlour) owners/ attendants run for their life just after they open the shutters, as throngs of people run each other over to get to the best seat in the parlour, and the expressions shown on their face (later in the movie) as they are watching a dubbed english movie, the shadow of the cigarette smoke, are priceless. Or, the four day delay caused because superman is getting married. I can keep going on forever about how a tightly edited, honestly crafted 70 minute movie(?) cobbled together with no stars whatsoever is worth more than hundreds of skin-shows like Cocktails that bollywood graces us with. The movie was screened under PVR’s Director’s Rare initiative (and the ticket was all of 70 bucks for the 9AM show). Yes, such movies are a rarity in our country. Rarely do people pack their bags and say thank you when they are done saying what they had to say. So, thank you Nasir Shaikh. For introducing us to the supermen of malegaon.

Touch the Intouchables

Intouchables touches you. And how beautifully. The movie doesn’t try to do too many things. It explores the relationship between an unlikey duo – a low society-from the projects-criminal background man taking care of and becoming a great friend to a filthy rich paraplegic. The story is full of pain and pity, and yet there is none. The movie overflows with genuine moments of connect between two people – not forced sentimental long dialogues, but two people who connect because they connect. Because there’s a spark to their conversations. Because they are naturally different. The lead actors are absolutely brilliant. Even the dubbing was quite fine, but I wouldn’t mind just the subtitles as well. One thing that needs a mention – background score. It was pitch perfect. And the strip down of most melodramatic moments is brilliant. There are some butchered sacred cows as well – the way Driss replaces Chopin, Beethoven and Mozart with the music from Kool and the gand and the likes, and gets the drab party on its feet, or Phillip’s hitler moustache moment, or the furious laughter during an opera. The movie has such comic moments that you forget the tragedy that underlies them. Right from the way Driss lifts Phillippe like a puppet and his body hangs about limply, to the life in the projects, and the coversations between Driss and Lyovanne. Here’s one from Driss – “There’s no way I am emptying another man’s ass. It’s a matter of Principle. Stockings were bad, but I did it. But there’s no way I am emptying another man’s ass.”

It’s a beautifully told true story. So, if you think you just wasted 300 bucks on Cocktail, please go and watch Intouchables. There aren’t too many shows of that movie, and most likely it will be off the screens this Friday, once the Dark Knight returns.

 

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Movie Review: Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

February 12, 2012 Leave a comment

I saw Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu Friday night, and was fascinated by my end reaction to the movie. I did not expect it to be what I came out to be – Good!

I have maintained it for some time that Imran is Bollywood’s answer to Hugh Grant. Looks like a douche/chom, can’t act much, mumbo jumbos most of his dialogues, and is almost perfect for low involvement rom-coms.Remember Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa/ I Hate Love Storys?

Kareena, as well, is absolutely cut out for these roles. Chirpy girl with loads of attitude and brashness, keeping some of her issues under layers of enthusiasm, with about 15 minutes reserved for some sadness and drama. She is a reasonably good actress, who is lazy and risk averse.

The movie, I conclude, is a very pleasant rom-com. It is short, doesn’t prolong anyone’s agony (including that of the viewers), does not try to take things to an (Indian) logical conclusion, and keeps most of the songs in the background.The music is fine, though disappointing on the back of my expectations from Amit Trivedi ( after Dev D, Udaan, Aamir and the likes). Surprisingly, the chemistry between Imran and Kareena is quite good.

Sorter than 120 minutes is an achievement in indian cinema. Strike one.

Crisp editing is an aberration rather than a rule. Strike two.

Jokes are not necessarily loaded with sexual innuendos, and dive more from conersational wit and timing. Strike three.

 

I went in with low expectation, and mostof them were beaten. So, i was happy. Only one word of caution – either watch it in a theater where everyone loves commenting (or, “interacting” with the screen). Or, where no one does. BUT, not in a thrater where only the person next to you believes in repeating the onscreen dialogues, along with a laughter track for effects. Gubbare.. Ha ha haha. Dinner.. Ha ha ha ha.

 

This movie is (in another douchebag’s style) a “3 on 5 for me, along with a thumbs up”. Go watch it, because it’s not a genre that is usually well made in India.

 

Note: Watch it only once. Which means, that you should watch it with wife/girl-friend/… Because in case they drag you in for a second time because you saw it with someone else (colleagues/boyfriend/…), you may experience serious self-loathing syndrome (at this stage, it’s just a hypothesis).

 

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Movie Review: Agneepath works… and quite well too

January 29, 2012 Leave a comment

The first 15 minutes of Agneepath set the pace of the movie. Right from the idyllic Mandwa, to masterji and viju’s relationship, to viju’s deep rooted anger, and the two key lesssons – Pehelwan, and Ageneepath. Things happen fast, and then Kancha enters the screen. Kancha is a villain of the Gabbar Singh era. When he walks in, there aren’t too many other people that you notice on the screen. He is huge to the point of being grotesque, evil, insane, and cunning. He would not stop at anything to get his way. Things happen, and Viju is now in Mumbai. Now comes Rauf Lala. Its difficult (for me) to imagine that the ultimate candy star who survived the eras of many superstars can be made to look so mean and gross. You hate him. You hate his character. And in the middle of all this, the biggest thumbs up goes to that little boy Vijay (Arush Bhiwandiwala) who beats the crap out of Hrithik Roshan’s Vijay Deenanath Chauhaan. The anger, resentment, fearlessness of younger vijay overshadows the sad and despondent anger of the older Vijay. That does not mean I have anything against Hrithik’ portrayal. This would probably be one of his best performances till date (I haven’t see Guzaarish). But, this was one place where Amitabh’s Vijay was difficult to carry off. Amitabh’s Vijay was angry. Hrithik’s Vijay is as angry as he is sad and melancholic.

Agneepath of 2012 had a lot of weight to carry on its shoulders. Much like that scene where Hrithik lifts the bulky humongous frame of Sanjay Dutt. I read somewhere that he “really” did lift Dutt while doing that scene. I saw yesterday that Agneepath 2012 did lift the weight of Agneepath 1991. Commendably so. I would be a prude if I were to intellectualize the whole experience and find flaws with this version. Bottomline was that while the movie was on, I really enjoyed it. Agree, it’s a little long drawn, but hey!

The movie has its share of flaws. Few more loopholes than the earlier one. The 1990 version was a very intense movie, which but for the couple of Mithun-Neelam moments was fairly charged. This movie makes the same mistake, in somewhat greater proportions. The Romance of Mithun-Neelam is replaced by the Hrithik-Priyanka romance and the birthday song was definitely avoidable. Also, based on what I’ve seen of Hrithik so far, he can pull of the torn/sad hero quite well, but he is not the “angry young man”. On hindsight, I can picture Ajay Devgan do a better job of that. One sequence where the entire audience holds its breath in the 90 version, is when Shiksha is abducted by Shetty and Vijay runs through the narrow lanes of Dharawi to get to Shetty. That scene, despite a far more powerful Rishi Kapoor this time, does not have the same intensity. And the end, dramatic as it was in the earlier version, is a lot more idiotic this time (and I don’t meant Sanjay Dutt on top of Hrithik, literally speaking true though)

However, it’s a movie worth watching. Excellent performances from the lead cast including Priyanka Chopra. Arush (younger Vijay) is absolutely top class. Dutt and Rishi Kapoor are exception. Hrithik is brilliant and Priyanka is just about right. Zareena Wahab, Om Puri, Kanika Tiwari (Shiksha, played by Neelam in 1990 version) are all well-cast. The editing is good except for a few places and the movie moves at a very engaging pace. Some of the sequences are beautifully shot (especially the Ganpati Visarjan shot and the scene where Sanjay Dutt is dragging Master Dinanath Chauhan). Music, except for a couple of unnecessary songs, does not hamper the pace of the movie. Background score is good.

End Note: Brilliant masala movie with a lot of entertainment and some absolutely brilliant performances. 4 on 5 for me. Watch it, I say. 

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Movie Review: Bodyguard

September 1, 2011 3 Comments

Oops! I did it again. Another Sallu movie. Another almost First Day First Show. Well, it was the second show. Yes. At Chandan. Yes, the movie left a few things to be desired. No. The Chandan Experience was perfect.

Before I say something about Bodyguard, let me remind you all that I absolutely enjoyed Dabangg and I did not enjoy Ready at all. So, if you’re one of the purists who cannot differentiate between Dabangg and Ready because apparently they both were trashy movies for you, stop right here. You should not watch Bodyguard. Having got that out of the way, let me also tell you that this movie is going to hit the 100Cr mark, for sure.

Salman’s intro shot in the movie is as interesting as it should or could be. The title song is a wacko with Salman winking and flexing his biceps as the key dance step, Katrina Kaif making a customary item song presence through the song. Immediately after, Salman gets into gravity defying stunts and action sequences which are so unreal that you cannot but fall in love with the dude. As greatbong pointed out in his Singham review, there are only two people who can pull that kind of stuff – dhai kilo ke haath wale sunny paaji, and maine ek baar commitment kar di to wale salman bhai.

Then, with almost a pitch perfect beginning, something seems to fall apart. Which is, that Siddique decides not to continue with the same over the top treatment of the movie. Rather, he decides to put in emotions, drama, college fun, etc. He decides that he will let Kareena (Divya) play a prank on the superstud bodyguard. She has a preachy friend by her side. Salman has been given a ridiculously fat Rajat Rawail as a comedian flunky. Why on earth do you need a comedian flunky if Salman is already there? His earnestness while doing the most ridiculous scenes makes up for all the comedy I ever need out of his movies. Remember the “tera hi jalwa” ringtone based fight sequence in Dabangg. Yeah. That one.

Kareena gets all emotional while Salman continues to carry the movie on his shoulders. Rajat Rawail kills the sense of humor of the movie with his weight and cheap humor, while Salman continues to carry the movie on his shoulders. Raj Babbar and Asrani ham the crap out of the movie, while Sallu carries the movies on his shoulders. And in between (before the interval) and towards the end, there are two more extremely endearing fight sequences. The kinds where one of the bad guys is kicked hard and while he is still in the air, two more bad guys are punched, only to allow Sallu some more time to crash kick the first guy again. Awesomeness! Aditya Panscholi does his friendly hamming. Mahesh Manjrekar too. All the usual masala. Couple of songs booted here and there, which are working, but are not in the league of Dabangg music (or usual Himesh Reshammiya music). Rahat Fateh Ali Khan is there. Mika too. Shreya Ghoshal too. All boxes ticked.

Towards the end, is where the surprise really lies. Usually, you expect a grand fight with Salman resulting in massive disaster for the bad guys. In this movie, that happens. And then some shit happens with Salman. I will not reveal the mega plot twist. But that mega plot twist itself makes the movie a massive torture in the last 10-15 minutes of the movie. See it to believe it.

Back to Chandan Experience – Movie was supposed to start at 12:30. Did not start till 12:50 or so. In those 20 minutes, there were die-hard fans trying to break the door open (to Chandan’s credit, the doors are quite durable), brought the large size movie hoardings of Bodyguard and Mere Brother ki Dulhan to ground before tearing them into pieces, whistled, cat-called, hooted, booed. And then the door received the loudest ever cheer for opening, that any door might have received ever. At that time, the end credits of the previous show were going on, but the enthusiastic crowd did not mind cheering Salman in the goofiness based end spoilers either. Every song, there was an “interactive” crowd that would take off their shirts, or start dancing in the isle. At the end, there were a bunch of 15 odd kids that climbed the screen area and decided to showcase their Sallu bhai dancing skills right there. Before the show, we also spotted a dude who’d come in Sallu bhai getup (shiny black coat with sunglasses and the whole drill from the Desi beats song), and was getting himself clicked in style in front of a Mahindra Xylo. Life, as they proverbially say, was good.

EndView – Not bad. Not great either. I’d prefer a Dabangg over this. The elitist reader base of this blog would most likely not like the movie. But then, who cares. The movie’s going to make another 100Cr+ for Bollywood. By the time Salman is done with another few such movies, including Dabangg 2, the debate about who’s the biggest “Star” would be settled. Aamir needs script. Shahrukh needs senti, dialogues, script, and a whole lot of marketing. Salman, though, needs only himself!

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Chillar Party: The Premiere, The Evening, and The Movie Review

July 7, 2011 2 Comments

Thanks to @narendodi, Missej and I landed at the premiere of Chillar Party today. That, I guess, was about the only right thing about the evening. Missej had been fighting multiple fires at work. I had an important call right in the middle of the screening of the movie. Missej’s office was reminding her of the favour they had done to her by letting her watch the movie.

Now then. This is the first time I was attending a movie premiere. So, bear with me my ignorance of how it all works. There were multiple shows of Chillar Party running sequentially, with different types and layers of guests being invited for them. The big one was later in the night where all the big celebs would have come. The show before us had a special screening for kids from various NGOs. The show we were attending had a lot of B-listers – the friends, wives, girlfriends, inspectors, et al from movies. So, we spotted Rajeshwari (Sachdeva), the chick who played Rajeev Khandelwal’s wife in Shaitaan, the bribe taking cop of Shaitan, the other girlfriend of Jaane tu ya jaane na (Manjari?), lots of small time villans (the londry villain of Delhi Belly, etc.). Of course, we saw Sohail Khan welcoming most of the important guests personally, and the kiddie star cast of Chillar Party who did their ho-ho at the beginning of the movie. The drinks and snacks were on the house (meaning you could have the chicken burger or popcorn served at PVR for free). And so, we cribbed about our respective lives and went in, picked comfortably placed seats closer to the isle, considering we were sure about not watching the whole movie.

I will come to the movie in a bit. But here is what happened to us. At 8:25, intermission happened. We walked out of the theatre. I dialled onto the conference call I was supposed to attend at 8:30 (yes, one of those where you dial a toll-free number and no, not one of those where you just dial in, put yourself on mute, and act as if you are doing something important). I promptly punched the passcode, put the phone on mute while I continued walking out of the theatre, and put the Bluetooth dongle in my ear. I could not hear anything. Not even the usual music that you hear while the host hasn’t opened the conference. I looked at the phone. I couldn’t see anything. And I realized. Shit! Phone’s battery had run of juice. (Someday, I will write a post about how many important occasions the smart-phones cannot smartly save juice for). I turn to missej. She seems stressed. I ask her – where’s your phone? She replies – I have given my office fellas your number to call in case my phone dies. I look at her incredulously. She continues – why do you ask? My expression changes to helplessness. I still take her phone. Mumble something incoherently. And see that her battery is down to zero as well, though not dead. And she is solving CEO level shit. I pray to the heavens. I send an SMS to a trusted lieutenant asking him to carry on with the charge and message me on missej’s number should something go wrong. And by then, we are outside the theatre. Missej, amidst all the fireworks going on in her corporate life, decides to shop for clothes at Shopper Stop. We do that. She notices a lot of clothes while trying to resolve some high level fiascos, on the phone. I notice more and more modernly dressed rich/ pretending to be rich uber cool people go to the theatre for that all important celeb release. We leave through the front door. Get to the valet parking. See an orange convertible Audi with a UP number plate. See bunch of BMWs and Mercs and LandRovers and what nots. And with all the big cars, there is a mini-traffic jam outside. One ways have become reverse one ways. Etc. Etc. We drive back home. We both put our phones on charge immediately after reaching home. Furiously reply to a few emails that we think are super important. Attend calls. Take stock of world. Lie down on our back. Think we are very important. And get ready for the next round.

Chillar Party : The Movie Review

It won’t be fair for me to review it in totality since I only saw the movie till the intermission. But the summary is that I liked what I saw. Disclaimer – it’s an out and out kid movie. So, if you’re a grown up who does not enjoy those movies, then stay away. With me, you know how it is. My mental age is on a reverse cycle already, while my body shows all signs of wear and tear.

The bunch of kids in the movie – Phatka, Janghya, Akram, Encyclopedia, Silencer, Panauti, Aflatoon, etc. have all acted very well. Bunch of very likeable kids who do things the way kids would. Do not go on long preachy missions. And are easy to soften and quick to gang up. The story has its intentions right. Middle income colony with kids in a certain age group getting attached to a car cleaner boy and his dog, and some twists here and there. There are funny moments. Some of the dialogues are quippy in a childish way. And the movie goes along nicely. Even the oldies’ support cast does not destroy the movie. Hardly any songs to notice in the first half. Merged well in the background.

But for the situational errors, I’d have watched the movie. I believe it has great potential to be a successful TV movie – one that you will find frequent re-runs of on different channels. It might end up being a My friend Ganesha equivalent.

Would I have gone to the theatre to watch the movie? Unlikely. Am I asking you to? Maybe. You could. It’s not a waste of time like several other movies (I am reminded of Bheja Fry2 and Double Dhamal and Tees Maar Khan). But it’s not a movie that my peer demographic would probably relate to. It’s definitely a movie that tier 2 cities should relate to a lot more. But if you have done your rounds of the movies you wanted to see, and are still looking for something more to watch – its not a bad bet. It’s a 3 on 5 movie for me.

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Movie Review: Shaitaan is a very well shot film. Go, watch it.

June 11, 2011 Leave a comment

The name of the Director is Bejoy Nambiar. But, the movie is stamped with Anurag Kashyap all over. Not just the narration and the screenplay, but the visual treatment of the movie as well. Some extremely creative use of background score, rapidly zagging camera work, dark shots, shots in slow-motion, and some insane music. It almost feels like Anurag Kashyap is continuing with his ode to Tarantino, having taken a pause after Dev D.

I loved the movie. The premise is simple, but not so frequently touched in bollywood. Spoilt brats high on life and high on dope making a mistake which comes back at them in a multi-fanged manner, and some of them (the more spoilts ones) keep adding mistakes over mistakes, and in the end its an unresolvable mess (almost). Somewhere in the canvas is a righteous cop having a tough time adapting to the system, and another one who uses the system to his advantage. A commissioner who cannot but depend on the volatile righteous suspended cop for getting him out of the mess, and a cop friend who is right in just about the right balance. Since I am not here to tell you the story, I would leave it at this.

What makes the movie stand out is the visual narrative. Right from the initial sequences, and the pace at which a social misfit finds her group of homies, the baap ka paisa gang and their antics, rave parties, etc., to one of the most well shot sequences running a brilliant remix of yesteryear’s Khoya Khoya Chand in the background, and two parallel narratives on the screen running on slo-mo. I can almost feel like I have seen such a scene in an English movie before. But then, that does not take the execution credit away from Bejoy and Anurag. It’s a scene that will be run on loop many times by many people.

The ending leaves you with a bit of a cheated feeling. You wanted it to be a little more crisp than it was, but saying any more will risk revealing too much. Go and watch the movie and let me know what you think.

The acting department delivers. Rajeev Khandelwal as the estranged cop is brilliant. So, is Neil Bhoopalam as video gaming trying to fit in the group rich boy. Neil is becoming one of my favourite theatre-to-cinema actors these days (have you see Hamlet The Clown Prince? All in one? No One Killed Jessica?). Shiv Pandit and Gulshan Devaiya are well cast. Gulshan (KC) comes across as a spoilt brat with no regards for anything, but only till nothing goes wrong. Shiv as Dash is a revelation, playing a very restrained act. Kalki is fine. Not great, but not bad either. She needs to work on her hindi diction rather quickly though, if she wants to play a long bollywood inning. She might end up a Kangna Ranaut otherwise. In fact, the little girl playing Kalki’s childhood version deserves a mention, and so does the lady who plays Kalki’s dead mother. I have seen her in several plays (including Vagina Monologues), and she continues to impress me. In fact, Neil, Kalki’s Mother in the movie, Rajit Kapoor, and the guy plays Inspector Mawalankar are all good theatre actors, and its good to see AK giving them a chance. Rajat Barmecha (of Udaan) gets a little cameo as well.

Music is worth highlighting. Right from the excellent remix of Khoya Khoya Chand, to Pintya, Josh, Zindagi and several other background tracks (instrumental ones) used across the movie. Ranjit Barot, and Prashant Pillai should walk away with the best background score for this movie.

Movie has some quippy dialogues as well – kuch dost aise hotein jinhe aap raaat ke do baje bhi phone kar sakte hain, aur kuch dost aise jinhe aap sirf raat ke do baje hi phone kar sakte hain.

I will go with a 8 on 10 for this movie. Very well shot and executed, great music and background score, and some good acting. The only let down is the editing, which could have stripped about 15 minutes from the movie. Go watch it.

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Review: READY is a concealed kick for Sallu lovers

June 4, 2011 Leave a comment

There are few things that can help you sail through a movie as beautifully well as the energy of the crowd around you, at a theatre like Chandan Cinema (Juhu), cometh to watch the first day first show of a Salman Khan movie. In cities where Multiplexes offering the comfort of booking tickets online for 250 bucks or so, and with an increasing dearth of single screen theatres, a theatre like Chandan is not always thronged by the people that we go out dining with. But they love their cinema. And they make bollywood tick. For instance, when I parked the car, I competed with three autorickshaws for space. Those guys hadn’t booked the ticket online. They had come earlier to book the ticket from advance booking window. And they had come to see Salman bhai (how do so many of them have such a strong rapport with sallu). At 60 bucks for stall tickets, I don’t think they come inexpensive, but way cheaper than what you’d pay at the shiny PVRs. And they offer a lot more. It’s a place where suddenly bursting into a dance is not weird, nor is hooting/seeti maaroing or expert commenting.
Yet. Ready. Disappointed. And before you bring me down as a pseudo intellectual, I present my candidature as the lover of Dabangg, Gunda, All The Best as well as Stanley Ka Dabba, 3 idiots, Kanoon, etc.
Here’s how it happened. When I walked into the cinema hall (that’s the right word, not theatre), the crowd’s energy started at the same level as that of an India-Pakistan match with Tendulkar on song. Several trailers (Murder 2, Chillar Party, Singham) later, even a pedestrian initial credits/casting sequence was cheered for. Salman entered with Character Dheela, and a Katrina Kaif imitation Zareen Khan was gyrating to the latest chartbuster. So, what happened? In about 5 minutes, a barrage of guest appearances (Katrina Kaif.. sorry, Zarine Khan, Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgan, Arbaaz Khan, Kangana Ranaut) are thrown at you. And for some reason, as I look back, those were the somewhat better 5 minutes of the movie. From that point onwards, the movie goes downhill. It has its occasional sparks. And they are bound to be there when you have Salman, literally, playing to the gallery. Half the dialogues are spoken to the audience, and have nothing to do with other people on the screen. People tried hard to cheer even the worst-est of things, to keep their hopes alive. Every now and then, Sallu would give people hope. Like Ajay Jadeja. But that’s match-fixing. You keep hoping for some of the Wanted and Dabangg awesomeness. But, it’s just a ploy to make you watch the entire goddamn thing. The crowd energy by the end of it all is at that level of surrender, as the point when Wasim Akram might just have taken a hat-trick to polish off the Indian tail. Yet, all is not lost. For Ready would have already recovered the bulk of money over the weekend. People have booked, hoping to see another National Award winning movie after Dabangg (how many “g”s did we have in there?). And I like that. Industry needs to keep trying these movies – just so that every once in a while there is a flash of brilliance. OR, just so that you appreciate other movies. I appreciate the existence of Akshay Kumar and Khatta Meetha, just because they make the rest of the world look like a better place.
The high point of the movie are the two songs (Character Dheela and Dhinka Chika), with DC coming up trumps, in the spirit of the movie. The choreographer (most likely Raju Khan) deserves credit for making a double footed Sallu look like he is dancing, while he is largely standing at just one place making an insanely cool twist with his hands. Almost like there are wipers in his pocket, set at speed 2.
The reason I am alive is – Salman. He is a star. Even when he doesn’t actually, he manages to show off his shirtless body. And then ask you – mazaa aaya kya? The movie is so full of star-juice-extracting one liners like – “jiske paas ho family ka support, use nahi kar sakta koi deport”, “koi to rok lo yaar”, “tumhara shauq poora karoonga”, “jeans ki fitting kaafi achi hai”, “jahan pakadna hai pakdo, jo karna hai karo” – you could have called the movie – Cornflakes, or, Salman Juice Stall, or something like that.
I don’t blame anyone. I blame myself. I went to see a Salman movie. I forgot that its an Anees Bazmee movie. The man with a magical sense of humour. The man who believes in a suraj barjatya world, where there should be at least 15 people in 90% of the movie. And they should all, usually, shout when they talk. Akhilendra Mishra (Kroor-Singh of Yakku fame), that guy I love (the boxing villain from Ghulam), Mahesh Manjrekar, etc. etc. They all shout. Bazmee – Don’t you ever buzz me again. If it ever in my power, I’d bring you down some day. From that place from where you keep throwing these rotten tomatoes at us, just for getting your personal laughter.
Ah. A special mention for Asin. She is beautiful. And she has a very expressive face. Someone, anyone, please give her some better roles to work with. I am sure if Tusshar Kapoor can get a Shor, and if Sunil Shetty (what’s the right spelling these days?) can get a RED, someone can give her a decent role, no?
Endnote – Don’t watch it if you are a pseudo intellectual. Don’t watch it expecting to see a Dabangg. Watch it if you love Salman’s style of doing things. Watch it if Housefull, Thank You, etc. worked for you. And extract as much value as you can through the 4/5 trailers you get to see, and the two songs. Sallu bhai – please avoid Anees bhai. I love your movies (of this genre), but I can’t stand that idiot’s movies.

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Movie Review: Dhobi Ghat

January 22, 2011 Leave a comment

Nope. I won’t even attempt to sound intellectual and say that the movie is great in parts, and the blah blah. Dhobi Ghat did not work for me on Friday night. Dhobi ghat may work for me on Sunday afternoon 3 weeks from now, when I have no emotions attached to a Friday Aamir Khan release. Not when I have just been sitting on meetings all evening, and it is my only way to avoid slowing down my life. And Dhobi Ghat slows down the world around you. Come to think of it, that’s so against the natural spirit of the city that I know as Mumbai.

DUMB ALERT: I would likely look back at the movie five days from now, and I may say that the movie is a good watch. But I was quite bored while I was watching it. For some reason, I could not understand why some people were clapping at the end of the movie. It did not even seem like sarcasm. Maybe, I am not intellectual, after all. What is an investment banking consultant by the way?

What worked:

  • Prateik. Adorable, in the character (for most part) and the saving grace of the movie. Does not seem like a contrived character, not someone you’d want to glorify OR pity, not someone who’s character is clouded in fake conversations.
  • Monika Dogra is reasonably good. But I don’t see how she will move on from that character to any other mainstream character. She can be the next low budget ABCD movie star though.
  • Special mention: background score. For most part of the movie, the movie does not depend on any background score. It uses (apparently), the natural sounds and the stillness of the city. However, wherever there is, it’s poetic.
  • Some of the pictures (still) and the final painting of Yasmeen are beautiful.
  • Some of the camerawork is good, but not as breathtaking as Satya was. To me, Satya still brings out some of the best Mumbai moments on screen (apart from Rimjhim Gire Sawan from Manzil). What’s your favorite?
  • I like the screenplay for about 70% of the movie

What did not work

  • Pace: Extremely slow and uneven. There are times when you almost feel like screaming that you get it, you get it, and we can move forward. But I guess Kiran Rao made this movie as a self-indulgent Sunday siesta movie where pace is not the most important thing for storytelling. The feel and the texture is.
  • Editing: Some of the jumps are extremely jerky. It takes a few reels to get used to the four narratives, and
  • Dubbing: without realizing, I ended up at the Hindi version of the movie. And the dubbing is horrendous. Dubbing is where Monika’s character goes terribly wrong, and Aamir’s character comes out a little better than what it s.
  • Characterization: Aamir’s. Not thought through is an understatement. Seems like this time, Aamir did not get it right. Surprising, for someone who managed to look reasonably convincing as a 19 year old in 3 idiots. Even otherwise, Monika’s character Shai seems lost. I really don’t know why Munna (Prateik) and Shai did not run the final lap. I am not sure why the other random lady in the building keeps calling Munna to her bedroom while Shai (that’s the name, right?) cannot. And who was that random friend of Shai buyind dope? And what was the point of Arun’s (Aamir) family equation? And the casual relationship between Vatsala (Kittu Gidwani) and Arun? And Salim and Munna? To me, the part that worked were Yasmeen and Munna. Surprisingly, Kiran seems more comfortable handling the characters from lower echelons of society (which have anyways been beaten to death by avant garde cinema), but fails to handle the India shining generation. The obsessions and independence of this class are not even semi fuelled.

I can rant about the movie for a few hours. But the net conclusion is – For the want of a better word, its a Bangaali Intellectual movie :). You can IM about it for long, but its dull and its not a movie I’d recommend you watch in theater. But it’s a reasonable one time watch for a Sunday afternoon.

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Movie Roundup

May 11, 2010 Leave a comment

Haven’t been writing a lot lately, so thought I would summarize my views of some of the movies I have watched in the last 3-4 months. How’ve y’all been?

How To Train Your Dragon

Excellent movie! Extremely adorably, excellent screenplay, great characters and some wonderful animation. Not the usual kids acting beyond their shoes lamentation in any part, no pity when something sad happens, and no masochism when something big is done. Everything that happens, happens smoothly. And that’s the beauty of the movie. The Night Fury dragon’s character, just as much as Hiccups, the kids and the Vikings in general, was a delight. I can keep gushing about how much fun it was to watch the movie, but I would let you go and enjoy the movie yourself. And by the way, watch it in good quality 3D if you have an option.

Badmaash Company

Decent, but suffers from the usual Indian problem. No closure. We drag everything to infinity and beyond, but not the way Buzz Lightyear does. Many of our movies are known to have a great start (like Sehwag) but seem to falter somewhere in the middle (like Ravindra Jadeja). I liked the first 40-odd minutes of the movie reasonably fine, which was just about the time the director decided to put the same print in spools. The pace of getting through the cons was a drag, and so was the high pitched melodrama. Surprisingly, Chang  (of Indian Idol fame) was not too bad, though most of the jokes on him were about his chinese face/origins. Anushka seemed to be in a hurry to change her image. Her entire first half presence is dedicated to wearing dresses that break the Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi mould, and the smooch sequence is the final frontier in Bollywood these days. Vir Das is ok. Anupam Kher and Pawan Malhotra are wasted largely. So is Kiran Juneja (the Ganga of B.R. Chopra’s Mahabharat). Worst though is Shahid Kapoor. He needs to have a middle name starting with R, so that he can also start calling himself SRK. Hamming like a rooster, his acting skills seem smaller than the size of a pimple on the butt of a mosquito (that’s a phrase borrowed from one of my bosses). Anyways, its not so bad that its not watchable on DVD/ cable TV, but should be avoided in theatres, unless you are watching it with the comfort of a large recliner sofa.

Ironman-2

Not sure why some of the fanboys seemed to have loved the movie. The movie is far too patchy for my taste. And as Anand said after we walked outta the theater, there is no epic crisis in the movie, which is essential for a superhero movie. You don’t want to watch a total of 3 minute conflict/exchange between the superhero and the epic villain who is almost about threatening to unleash 50 Ironmen on the mumbling (Robert Downey) Jr. Ironman. More so, when it ends with a lame dialogue like – “you lose”. Someone like me can still manage to enjoy bits of the movie, and not feel completely cheated, but I do not see how most people would like it. It has a bad screenplay, some fairly average editing, some great action sequences, and a lot of patchy technological brilliance thrown in here and there. Watch it if you are a comics lover.

Housefull

Arrgh! Why do I agree to watch such movies? Why didn’t I learn from Hey Babyyyy (did I get the number of ‘y’s correct)? Anyways, the long story short is that I took the plunge because 7-8 of us from the office were going together, and the idea seemed fine. For such mindlessness, you need the comfort of numbers. However, not good enough. Housefull is full of such inanities and ridiculous sequences that even mayhem would feel threatened sitting in the theater. The jokes are not funny, and actors far too many and wasted, the usual gags of gay-ism and mistaken identities, make your life miserable. But what Sajid does in the last 15 minutes of the movie is a housefull of idiocy. Why would you make a stump-faced Arjun Rampal try and act under the influence of laughing gas. That good looking goofball cannot act normal scenes. Knowing the limitation of your team doesn’t seem like a skill that directors have these days. Anyways, Sajid Khan has an extremely long and idiotic 15 minute sequence which is an attack on the not-so-discerning senses of people like me. Yet, I know, and know it really well, that the movie would do great business. As Dodi and I were discussing yesterday, we no longer represent the average audience in our tastes, especially when it comes to identifying hits and misses. Though, to my credit, I knew “Wanted” was going to be a rage the moment I saw its first trailer.

A couple of other movies of note –

Wanted! Please watch it if you haven’t. But watch it with a sense of detachment that you can’t have when you are watching a Karan Johar movie. And you’ll love it. I would have loved to see it in theater, but I missed it. Loved it on TV as well. I wonder why Ayesha Takia did not become more successful. She seems quite decent, especially when I look at the competition we have to suffer.

Karthick Calling Karthick – quite a decent one time watch, though the pace of the way is way too erratic. And again, this is a movie which could have been 20 minute shorter with good editing.

Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge – I liked it. Light, Hrishikesh Mukherjee kinds. Some of the gags are old, but some of them are quite refreshing. Paresh Rawal is brilliant, and Ajay Devgn and Konkona Sen Sharma don’t disappoint either. Definitely, a decent DVD/TV watch.

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What I liked about Ishqiya: Not as much a movie review

February 3, 2010 Leave a comment

I watched Ishqiya last night, comfortable sprawled in the king sofa sets of Maxus, Sakinaka. I loved the movie immensely.
We (most movie bloggers) often like the movie first, and intellectualize our emotions later. Many a times, in the process of intellectualizing the emotion, we kill the real emotion. Mind over heart, as they say. That being said, there are a lot of things that clicked with me for this movie, and hence I will talk only about the most important things (for me). Acting, Music, and Dialogues are the more obvious positives. Characters and their portrayal is the less obvious one. The fact that I do not credit the story as much is the other less obvious thing.
Characters / Portrayal- The reason I am separating it from acting is because it’s a director/story-teller’s vision, that the actors convincingly or unconvincingly portrays on the screen, and that’s where debutant director Abhishek scores a maiden ton. Extremely human in their thinking and mannerisms, Arshad Warsi (Babban), Vidya Balan (Krishna) and Naseeruddin Shah (Iftikhar/Khalu jaan) are exceptional in the movie. And for once, I think Arshad and Vidya come across a notch better than Naseer, which by itself should be to the director’s credit.
Khalu’s body language when he is trying to steal a car, or during the song “dil to bachcha hai”, or when he is acting coy with Krishna telling her about Jayadev being the music director of the song she is singing, are all of the same man, and the same small time thief who is on his toes that he will get caught any minute. His anger at seeing Babban and Krishna together, completely over-ruling the thought that he himself had the same desires, given a chance, and subsequently hurting his best friend with the most heart wrenching comments in that anger – these are all extremely human scenarios, enacted perfectly by Naseer. But by now, I expect that from Naseer.
Babban, on the other hand, is the standard roadside goon that we all must have seen so many of in real life. Especially those who have spent some time in the central belt of India. The mannerisms, open shirt button, unshaved stubbled look, the walk with a forced air of rudeness, the “rolling over words” language are all so typical. Babban’s language is far more bhopali, and he has pulled it off with consummate ease. “Tumhara pyaar pyaar, aur humara pyaar sex” might be a dialogue that many people will quote in their respective gali mohallas. Almost every scene where Arshad is present, he takes the center stage.
The pick of the lot for me is Krishna’s character. Extremely manipulative, flirtatious with her husband, refined with Khalu, and in your face with Babban, her transition from one league to another is seamless. What is extremely impressive is that in that one intimate moment with Babban, Krishna comes across as someone who wants to keep the “sulphate” at bay, but her carnal desires being unmet for ages, she gives in to the emotion. And in that one moment, her carnal desires take over her plan of keeping both the men at bay. It comes across as a moment that she was not planning for, and my reading is that it was exactly that, more than a mere manipulation. Also, the scene where she realizes that beyond manipulations, the two men actually do love here, there is an expression on her face that should not be missed. It’s a beautiful transition, the way a cloud passes over your expressions every once in a while, when you hear an uncomfortable truth. I have believed Vidya Balan to be a good actress, but never realized she has come so far. Especially after Hey Babyy, my confidence had gone low. After Paa and Ishqiya, however, I think she should groom herself to be the next Smita Patil/Shabana Azmi cadre actress.

The other aspect that really stood out for me was the music, and by that I don’t mean just the 4 key songs from Vishal and Gulzar. Even the occasional picks in the movie like “kuch dil ne kaha… kuch bhi nahi” are amazingly well placed. The music arrangement for Ab mujhe koi intezaar nahi and Badi dheere jali are exquisite. Put them on your iPod and close your eyes, you are sure to transcend to another world of yearning. Even though Dil to bachcha hai and Ibn-e-batuta are the running favorites, my loyalty is shifting to “badi dheere jali raina, dhuan dhuan naina”.

Unlike pure blooded critics, I will not want to quote flaws “as well”, because overall, the movie worked for me. Those 2 hours were a breeze, and I came out satisfied.

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Movie Review: Ajab p…ppp…fff..frame ki ggga…ga…gg..jab Kahani

November 8, 2009 13 Comments

Beat this – you are walking down the street with your girlfriend, and someone stops you and asks you if you are interested in a trip to Hawaii. All for 50 bucks. You say yes, very eagerly so. The dude then points you to the latest brand of Hawaii chappal. All for 50 bucks. That’s what Ajab Prem Ki Gajab Kahani Is.

It’s  A-JAB to break your FRAME.  APKGK is A movie that Santoshi made PK .

I had walked into the theater with high hopes, expecting to see a movie which was going to be different (these guys have also come up with APKGK comics as well, hum-tum style). The theater was housefull. India had just lost a match despite a thunderous innings from Sachin while chasing 351. The mood was somber, and a good light hearted comedy could have just been the right solution. But alas – Indian film-makers are rapists. They try to get you in a corner and rape you.  Of your sensibilities, money, and worst of all, your sense of humor.

The movie starts with a random Lord Hastings’ (or some Lord from Brit Era) mannequin harassing a dumb reporter looking for an “Ajab” story in this unnamed place, where nobody is to be seen. I knew that it’s likely going all downhill from here. But I had paid 300 bucks, and I had liked some of the songs. And I knew that Katrina Kaif was yet to come. At least there will be some visual delight in the movie.  That’s what I meant by cornering the unsuspecting audience like me.

After introducing an extremely over the top Ranbir Kapoor who has no idea why the bloody character of Prem was created in the first place, they introduce a “talking” Katz. C’mon, give me a break. Who pays money to hear Katz talk. She is supposed to walk in, look good, wear good dresses, smile a little, mumble some innocuous things, and dance, and make merry and leave. I would like to believe that Biwi is also usually happy to see Katz, for she might get some good dress, pumps and boot ideas.  But Santoshi does the unthinkable. She wants Katz to act. So here she is, stammering when she is upset, trying to act out of her skin. Totally justifying the salary she might be getting, she gets emotional, defends a set of mean foster parents, goes around town with Frame (that’s what it sounds like when Jenny calls out for Prem), and in the whole process, disappoints us beyond redemption. Sometimes, I wonder if the stammer-when-I-am-upset track was introduced simply to cover for Katz’s exquisity dialogue delivery.

Prem hangs out perennially with his friends, helping other people elope with their lovers. Not doing anything worthwhile, he runs happy club, which has no members, apparently. People come to play carrom, TT, etc. to happy club. And Prem is the smartest cookie in town, who is 9th fail, and he also stammers when upset. The character is so over the top that in one scene he actually falls from the top of a cliff, bicycle and thief asunder. The same thief vows revenge, and later becomes Don bhai, but the director forgets to remind him of his earlier reason of anger with Frame.  And so, they indulge in Priyadarshan style mindless fight scene where everyone is hitting everyone.

To be honest, I don’t have anything against Ranbir. I liked him in the bad movie Bachna Ae Haseeno, as well as the good movie “wake up sid”. I think the dood has potential if he can get over his doped look. But he is like Yuvraj Singh right now. Got sweet timing does not mean you can hit every ball outta the park. The characterization of frame is all over the place. In one shot, he is good for nothing. In another, he makes more than 5k per month just working as a halwai shop assistant. He walks to the halwai shop in a tie and shirt. Indian halwais sure are sure going places.

The worst though is reserved for a so-called special appearance from “Upen Patel”. Remember the UK return patel duuuude, who has acted in several movies as the sidekick now (like 36 China Town, Namastey London, etc.). His accent in the movie is thicker than waddi glass of lassi from Punjab, and surely thicker than Katz’s accent. He is a dude who is ready to settle down in Frankfurt and buy a Ferrai for Katz (Jenny). Frankfurt-Ferrari-Ferrari-Frankfurt.. you know.. the works… yeah yeah.. And buys a 1.5 Crore necklace for Jenny. And Jenny leaves him still. It’s got to be his extremely amazing histrionic skills that embarrassed Katz. How can I be seen with someone who looks like a patchwork and acts worse than Sunil Shetty in Balwan!!!

There are some saving graces – the best scenes of the movie are reserved for baap-beta interactions between Ranbir and Darshan Zariwala. Even though an extremely loud and hamming performance, Darshan still manages to deliver a few really funny ones.  Smita Jaykar as the mother is absolutely wonderful, especially in the scene where she is trying to stop Darshan from going to the bathroom because Katz is already in there. There is one scene where Ranbir comes with Jenny to a dance party. Slightly OTT, but Ranbir is fabulous in that scene.

The songs are good. But usually misplaced. In one song (kaise batayein), you almost get a feeling that it’s a Diamond ad. Not my company Diamond, but like a real Diamond. The kinds where actresses are wearing blank long dresses, and the brightness is artificially low, so that the glitter of the diamond is for everyone to see. Remember? Yeah, that kinds.  In another song, the whole city dances singing “Prem ki naiya hai ram ke bharose”. Yep. And it seems Allah Meherbaan to Gadha Pehelwaan. Nikhat Kazmi finds the movie to be worth four bloody stars. And I am sure there are others in his (or her?) ilk, who will find the movie adorable because Ranbir and Katz just look gorgeous on the screen.  Or, something like that.

In Masand style – I will go in with 1 star for this one, since it’s a bad movie, with a bad story, with bad characterizations, supported by bad acting and bad direction and  bad editing. The one star is for good songs, Smita Jaykar, and the Turkey shots in Kaise Batayein (given my recent trip to Turkey, I have an attachment to the place).

 

p.s. Turkey shots? ahem ahem… i am trying to imagine what it would be like to take turkey shots!! quite disturbing i guess!

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The Show Must Go On..

December 1, 2008 2 Comments

I must not forget, in my recent state of mind, that much of what I crap on this blog is about bollywood.. And as an act of defiance, I shall continue being the buff that I am, who is not going to step into the theatres or enjoy life. YSo, here is a lowdown on all that I have seen recently.

1. Oye Lucky Lucky Oye – Good movie. Great comic timing. Some awesomely likable performances, 

a script laden with subtle nuances for those who understand Delhi, serious comedy (and I mean it in a serious way, not a comic way), lots of puns, great attention to detail. But, a tad too slow at times. And a bit repetitive on the stealing track. Plus, assumes the viewer to be intelligent. Should do roaringly well in Delhi and around. May not do well south of Jaipur, I would think. But if you’ve been to Delhi, loved/hated some of the idiosyncracies about Delhi and Delhiites – must watch. 7.5 on 10 (I have spent 10 years in Delhi!). “Oye lucky, commissioner saab tera in-tero-diction khood kirayenge.” “Sirji, posh kaloney ka kutta hai.. angreji mein bulao.. come come bol ke”

2. Sorry Bhai – Simply awesome. Chitrangada is hot. Sharman and Shabana have acted at a different level. 

Boman, after a while, has not been wasted, and has great comic timing. Sanjay Suri.. well, he need not have been there. But to be fair to the dude, has not spoilt the movie either. And yeah, Chitrangada, but for a couple of places, has acted beautifully well. The script is a whiff of fresh air. Its light, comical, flawed but pleasant kinds. The kinds that Hugh Grant has popularized. Awkward situations, simple stuff. And the use of Mauritian locales is quite nice. Actually made me wonder if I should plan a trip there soon. Downer – the music is quite average.  OVERALL – MUST MUST WATCH. 9 on 10

 

3. Yuvvraaj – Run while you still have some energy left. Much as I have avoided all of Subhash Ghai movies recently, here is a movie that I thought 

would put the SG of Karma and Hero era back. But I was overestimating him. I think he has lost it. The movie, Sallu dear in the movie, the script, dialogues, etc etc are downright pathetic. The only couple of things good about the movie – I do like the music somewhat, Katrina still looks beautiful, and the Prague and other locales used are beautifully shot. Rating – 0. Because I couldnt survive the movie. It would be unfair to even rate this movie and say that I was read to evaluate it. 

 

4. Quantum of Solace – Watch it if you like good action movies. 

qos-wallpaper-1-md

Don’t watch it based on the hyperbolic expectations set by Casino Royale (which to me, seems like one of the best bond movies ever). The movie has a lot of good things. But, its not a bond movie. Its very different. This bond is more angry than suave. The country-skips are far too frequent. The gadgetry is largely missing. This movie is not a stand-alone bond adventure, and it seems like the next one is gonne be one either. This movie requires you to remember what happened in Casino Royale, and the whole Vesper Lynd plot. Not that I mind recalling how beautiful Vesper was! The plot is not as thick and intriguing and most of the villains are buffoons. The ladies, not as interesting. And Bond’s escapades, not so glorious. Judi Dench is still endearing though. And quite interestingly, the establishment is fallible. Quite fallible. But, its a movie in the Bourne genre of films, and should be an interesting watch nevertheless. Rating – 7 on 10.

5. Dasvidaaniya – Awesome. Quite awesome. I think you can call Vinay Pathak the Om Puri/Amol Palekar kinds of this era. He just makes it so believable. And has great variety. With the basic premise borrowed from “The bucket list”, I found the treatment to be totally new, especially considering that the protagonist dies in the end. But the movie is not about death. Its about life. its about simplicity. There is an irrelevant and idiotic track in the movie where Vinay falls in love with a Russian. Barring that, the movie seemed quite perfect to me. It made me smile, sombre, quiet, emotional. But never did it depress me. The movie does not take away hope, even for a moment. And the support cast, like Sarita Joshi, Rajat Kapoor, Ranvir shorey, et al are so unobtrusive and relevant. I loved Saurabh Shukla as Pathak’s boss, and Sarita Joshi as his Mom. Now that I look back at the movie in the light of Mumbai terror attacks and how fleeting a moment your entire life can be, I love the movie a lot more. Must Watch – Rating – 9 on 10. 

6. Dostana – Decent. Good fun. Has it fair share of comic moments. Has its marked in bold, dark outrageous colors, stamp of Karan Johar all over the movie. Priyanka is dressed exquisitely well, and Abhishek actually looks gay, the way he’s dressed up (or rather, the gay stereotype that so many movies have created). Boman was over the top. Bobby Deol was clueless and ok in equal measures. John Abraham, for a change, hasnt acted badly. He has managed to carry his own. But the sparkling performance of the movie is Abhishek. Priyanka is good as well. The hilarious moment of the movie belongs to Kiron Kher, when she welcomes John as the bahu/damaad of the family. Music catches on and is hummable. Whats with the recent flurry of punjabi tracks. Is no other state in India capable of producing catchy dance numbers? Anyway, K-Jo has an ace here. This movie will do great business in the  metro centers and abroad. It might already have done so. K-jo was blogging about his success here.  But the downers for me are K-JOness of the movie, a fair bit of stereotyping, loud, slow at many points (thum rule – if a movie gives you a chance to look at your blackberry and see if there is a new mail, thats a downer), unrealistic glossiness, and some of the fall-flat kinda humor.  Rating – 6.5  on 10.  Do watch it for some light hearted fun.

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Music Review: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

November 7, 2008 2 Comments

 

RabNeBanaDiJodi (*ing Shahrukh Amol Palekar Khan)

 

This is the latest trend music – glossy YR Films or a lookalike movie (OSO, Bachna Ae Haseeno, Race, Dostana etc.) with about 6-7 songs – one romantic number, one sad song sung by (usually) Shreya Ghoshal or Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, a peppy number by (usually) Sunidhi Chauhan where some dude named Blaze uses words that I dont understand the meaning of,and lastly, if its not getting covered in the above categories, a song by Sukhwinder Singh/ Atif Aslam. One song per singer in the movie is the new paradigm. Remix of 1-2 sings in the main album itself is another (they are just not letting some the remixing DJs survive, I tell you!)

 

Look back at some of the musical hits that fall in the glossy category this year, and you will know what I mean.

Anyway, how does Rab ne bana di jodi fit on the trend line –

1. Romantic Song – Haule Haule belongs to the combo of Sukhwindar and romantic category. Or, you can add, TUjh mein rab dikhta hai
2. Sad – The shreya ghoshal version of Tujhme rab dikhta hai
3. Fun – Dance pe chance by Sunidhi 
4. Remix – Dance pe chance remix
5. Rahat/Atif not in this album. Ably replaced by Sonu Nigam and Roop Kumar Rathod.

Now – what do I think of the music? 

If you are ready to forget and forgive Aditya Chopra for setting expectations through DDLJ and Mohabattein, the music is not that bad. But if you are looking for that charm, forget it!! Salim Suleiman, do not even meet their own high standards! 

Haule Haule, as can be seen through the new found popularity of the RNBDJ promos, is the pick of the lot. Sukhwindar adds a lot of soul to the sing, the punjabi touches, and a lot of passion. It grows on you. And it is growing on me! Another Sukhi ace! 

Tujhme Rab dikhta hai – its a good song, but it does not hit you that hard. Shreya Ghoshal version is better than Roop Kumar Rathod version (probably because its sadder). I am a sucker for sad songs. 

Dance Pe Chance – Average joe. Will catch on as the song is promo-ed on air. Thats my forecasting model talking. But not my heart. Shut up and bounce is catchier than this one! 

Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte – is a spoof song. With lyrics made up of songs and hindi movie names of yester years. So.. my guess is that again, the picturisation of the song will do the trick. Otherwise, very difficult to hum along, and not that great either. 

 

Overall –
I would give it a 3 on 5 – Average – because the singers do put in a lot of heart behind the songs which are quite average. Recommendation – download/stream and listen. If you like it, buy the CD. 

 

Passing Thought – Do you also think the Sonu Nigam is loosing his touch with singing? I think his voice is flattening out now

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