10 Questions for Pope Benedict XVI, Now That He Has Resigned

Pope

So, we all know that Pope Benedict XVI, the leader of the Catholic Church, the 265th Pope, has resigned. This has been considered to be one extremely rare phenomenon, and the world has gone from being aghast to sad to crazy to ROFLMAO.

There’s lot of nice trending on Twitter and other places, and Mashable came up with twenty hilarious tweets, etc. So, I thought I’d chip in with my ten questions for Pope Benedict, the 16th one.

Ten Questions I have About the Pope’s Resignation

  1. What is the Poper process for Pope’s resignation?
  2. What is the notice period that he has to serve? If there isn’t one for one of the most important jobs (apparently), why is there one for mundane jobs like programming and consulting?
  3. Who’s going to conduct the exit interview for the Pope? Will the feedback about physical and mental demands of the job be incorporated while selecting the next Pope? Will the JD be refined for better work-life balance?
  4. Did the pope also jump with joy after putting in his papers? Like most human beings do? Heel-click? At least breathe a sigh of relief?
  5. Does he have another job offer?
  6. Is he planning a startup? Does he have funding? Is he looking for a consultant? Is offshoring part of the plan?
  7. Does the resignation turn him into a Poper… err… pauper? What is the pension scheme? How much wealth does a Pope have, typically?
  8. Will the Pope be at peace now? If no, why resign? If yes, then what was he doing for so many years communicating with God?
  9. Did the Pope have any unvested options? Considering how deeply vested he was in the religion?
  10. Did he also feel that his career had come to a standstill with nothing more to learn? In the modern day and age and with people’s increasingly dwindling faith in religious institutions? Did he feel overwhelmed by Social Media and the visible general outrage against his outrage on various issues?

Oh, and in case he’s answering these questions, my last and the most real question that I have been asked on my resignation in the past – how does it feel now that he has resigned?

 

 

Note: I am really scared of people with strong religious sentiments. Please understand that this post is all in good humor, and not to offend anyone’s sensibilities. I would if I could, but I don’t know of a market where you can buy some sense of humor or some tolerance. Peace!

Advertisements

The Ultimate Question

Albert and I were walking on the street. The conversation was simple. Albert wanted me to tell him why I slapped the man in the corner. “Because he was smoking”, I said. Albert didn’t think it was reason enough. So I explained.
“See Albert. Tum log bilkul bhi dhyaan nahi deta hai. Udhar chota chota bacha log hota tha. Uska saamne galat impression padenga ki nahi? But more importantly, humko gussa uska cigaratte peene par nahi aaya tha. Humko gussa isiliye aaya kyonki udhar ek gaana bajta tha. With a cigarette in my hand, I felt like a man! Tow hum bhi bola ki aaj iska manliness ka bhaaji paav idhar hi kar dene ka. You see. The whole fault is that of the song. Gaana nahi bajta to humko gussa nahi aata. Humko gussa nahi aata to hum us man ka do laafa nahi maarta. Understand?”

**
I was silent the whole way back after that. Once I reached home, the moment Jenny opened the door, I told her.
“Jenny, I know the answer. Saara problem ka cause music hai. Gaana, you know!”
“What answer Albert?”
“You asked me this morning na? Albert, Pinto ko gussa kyon aata hai?”

Majorly inspired by Narendra Shenoy – the man is a killer! 🙂

Shaz, Waz & Bhaz? Dunce Premier League

Harbhajan Singh has made some shocking revelations in his yet to be published autobiography, portions of which were leaked online, reportedly by himself. He has apparently been inspired by Rakhi Sawant who believes that Jejus favors those who claim their rights, lefts and centers, at the drop of a hat. Unconfirmed sources reveal that the Turbanator, whose last successful outing was a dance competition where having gone for a back breaking dance performance along with partner Mona of “Bhajji jaisa koi nahi”, lost interest in any kind of outings shortly after the show.

He developed a keen interest in innings though, a phenomenon which is hardly driven by the feedback he received for his dance performance after winning the show. The judges, the good looking duo of Waseem Akram (known for his in-swinging Yorkers) and Sushmita Sen (who has been a bollywood industry insider for a while), caught his fancy, though it was unclear till now who had a longer lasting impact on Bhajji. During the feedback, Bhajji apparently heardthe judges say that “broke dunce” was something actors like Hrithik excelled at, and could be a great asset for a Bollywood career, if he ever decided to pursue one. Drawing inspirations from the successful Bollywood careers of previous actors like Mazhar Khan, whose blockbuster role “naam abdul hai mera sab ki khabar rakhta hoon”, and Mohsin Khan (whose unforgettable performance in Saathi, featuring songs like “chahe meri jaan tu le le”, are stuff legends are made of), Bhajji decided to immediately check the dictionary meaning of broke dunce.

Having concluded that Waseem bhai was instead making a point about what he thought of Bhajji (dunce) and his financial status (broke, the reason he apparently decided to become a swinger rather than a spinster), a devastated bhajji took the vow that he will beat Waseem bhai at his own game – toe crushing yore curse. Though he never looked up the meaning of toe, industry insiders claim that they fully understand the part of Waseem bhai’s anatomy he was going to crush/curse. Too tired to be a Moin Khan shouting “shabaas waseem bhai, shabaas”, Bhajji took to black magic, especially visible in his black turbanating performances in international cricket being supremely superior to all other spinsters being tried by the Indian team. He finally earned his rightful place down the order and in the middle overs.

I'm a black magic woman!

Black Mamba!

Bhajji trying doosra

Bhajji has also seen black a few times, the signs of which could be seen in his symbolic conversations with Symonds in a match during the friendly Australia series.

Sign is king!

Lately, unconfirmed reports from media suggested that Bhajji having read the confederacy of dunces (he reveals in the leaked prints that he never actually read the book, he just heard that it’s an award winning book which talks about the force that intellectuall duncity can be), and getting spurred by the successful run of 3dunces, led by the karismatic/kareenatic Aamir, remarked that being a dunce is not a bad deal, as long as you are not broke. Since then, he has decided to consume a lot of MSD for keeping him high up the preferential ladder compared to noobs like Mishraji (the mixed one) and Ojhaji (mera black magic tumhare ojha-tantrik jhaad phoonk se better hai). Some crack indeed. These addictions have also revealed why Waseem bhai’s comments hurt Bhajji so much.

After Shaz, why not Bhaz, is a question, he reportedly asks in his book. “Bhazzi & Wazzi on the beach” could have become the greatest love story since “Ajab Prem Ki Ghajab Kahani”! I think that Wazn’t meant to be!

Twitter Humour

From: Dey, Gaurav

For all of us who ‘Tweet’…:P

Statistically “Significant” Other

Isnt XKCD awesome?? 🙂

 

(hat tip: Subhra)

The Power of (Right) Training

from Meesum via mail

%d bloggers like this: