Review: Matru Ki Bijli Ka Mandola. Mera Man Nahi Dola

January 11, 2013 1 Comment

The movie reminded me of Harishankar Parsai’s brand of satire. Or, Orwellian Animal Farm. Where probably every prop symbolizes something bigger, something political. But that and Pankaj Kapoor are the only two saving points of the movie.

The movie is a classical proletariat vs. bourgeoisie setup, with significant doses of leftist sentiments, political buffoonery, and enough set pieces to navigate from one subtle comment to another. The everyday references galore. The dual personalities within most – one that does what seems to be “success” and the other that lives to uproot it all to find true happiness (especially after being a few drinks down). The JNU educated leftist who’d use Mao as the symbol for his revolution, the red color for his flag and messages. The commentary on media that talks about UFO sightings and highlights “pet mein murge baang de rahe the” kind of breaking news journalism, the daaru brand, the pink buffalo, the money taken for education loan from the village biggie, the Zulu tribe slaves who don’t realize they are slaves, and so on. MKBKM’s pink buffalo reminded me of the Kala Bandar of Delhi 6. A prop with great possibilities. And this time, it’s executed much better than the Kala Bandar. Vishal continues to project his love for Shakespeare with lines from Macbeth thrown in for good measure. Fair is foul and foul is fair! That being said, you can see general doses of smartness thrown, rather wasted, on this movie.

Because, in short, the movie is extremely slow and patchy in its execution. The songs end up being troublesome the way they pop up. That’s one that that you wouldn’t have blamed Vishal Bharadwaj for in his earlier movies. While Khamakha, Badal Utheya are brilliant vishal-ish composition, Oye Boy Charlie has the raat ke dhai baje feel. Vishal’s music, brilliant though, is becoming predictably formulaic. You can draw parallels between Kaminey and MKBKM track by track. Special mention for Prem Dehati’s rustic voice must be made.

The thing that raises this movie from being a well below average affair is Pankaj Kapoor. He lights up every frame that he’s present in. It’s a shame we don’t see him in more roles. This gentleman is worth more than half the actors in the industry. Maybe more. If there’s one reason why you may come out of the theater not feeling bad, it will be Pankaj Kapoor.

Vishal’s movies have had some amazing moments in the past. There are these moments where two of the actors get to show the world how brilliant they are. Even Shahid Kapoor managed to fool us. Remember “hum mein gooda hai” or the Konkona-Saif scene from Omkara. Or the tiny little scenes in Maqbool – miya pyaas nahi lagti tumhe aajkal kinds. And Vishal has set the bar on those critical relationship moments so high, that anything that tends to take the essence away, seems like that leering paunchy desi on a south goa beach. In this movie, you can blame it on Imran and Anushka.

Both of them have upped their game considerably. But Anushka is not a good serious/troubled weeper. She cannot get the nuance of that father-daughter moment before the wedding. And not surprisingly, Pankaj Kapoor nails that scene without saying much.
Shabana Azmi is good, goes without saying. And wonderfully self-deprecating. The others are adequate. The eunuch in the movie is another standout act, and the little blind kid.

In summary, the movie has an insanely brilliant premise, and a storyline that seemed worthy of Vishal’s direction, yet the editing and the screenplay fails the movie. Too many loose ends, and too much of indulgence. But Vishal will be back, one hopes! I will recommend that you wait for the DVD/ TV screening of this one.

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Dabangg2 – Shamelss Fun With Salman At His Best

December 21, 2012 Leave a comment

Dabangg2 – is not like the last 3-4 movies of Salman. But it is exactly like Dabangg. Where it all started. While, like many, I consider Wanted to be the real turnaround of Salman Khan, I believe that Dabangg has created a juggernaut of sorts in the industry. Singham, Khiladi 786, Rowdy Rathore, etc. are branches of that same formulaic execution. A larger than life hero, punchlines, slo-mo action sequences, item numbers, a villain who’s good for punchliners and has perfected the art of looking menacingly at the camera, a few comic actors thrown here and there. That’s it. The big difference between 70s-80s and these ones right now is slo-mo action sequences, IMO. And a thought must be spared for Abhinav Kashyap who made the first installment, but will not be missed this time round.

Now that I have classified the movie, let me tell you that Dabangg2 is a brilliant Salman Khan movie. Right up there with Dabangg. I am actually inclined to say that it’s better than D1. So, it’s a 10-salman rating kind of movie.

The setting/story is as simple as it should be – Pandeyji takes a transfer to Kanpur (to earn more and play a bigger role). Someone kidnaps a school kid. Cut to the grand entry of Pandeyji. Cut to slo-mo fight with enough comedy moments as well. Cut to product placement. Cut to more slo-mo. Villain/Big Brother of town is worried. Run in is unavoidable. And one thing leads to another. Till such time that Salman Khan’s shirt is off. You know that the end is near if Salman has had to reveal his dashavataram/noshirtavataram roop.

Salman stays true to the Salman image. Buffoonry, Fights, Angry Eyes, “apparently” witty repartee (and its “apparently” because he is the first one to start laughing at his jokes, like a true PJ God). He is his best when the humor is self-deprecating. And Salman wins hands down in that genre. Since Govinda is not fighting fit anymore. The most endearing comic moments, however, are his prank calls to his father, Prajapati Pandey (Vinod Khanna). Salman, yet again, carries the movie. And his beefy self will deliver, yet again.

Vinod Khanna has more screen time (if we take out the songs) than Sonakshi Sinha in the movie. That should be considered good news. But the bad news is that one item number features Malaika (but Sonakshi joins in too soon to let it be an item number) and the second features Kareena (with due respect to the Nawaaban of Pataudi, Kareena should not take up pure dancing assignments).

It’s sad to see Deepak Dobriyal play the role he did. And as badly as he did. After Omkara, Dilli 6, etc. one always waits for him to leave his imprints on a small enough character in the movie. Sadly, not this. He is a flunky who acts like a flunky.

Prakash Raj, the veteran menacing guy, has not been able to better his Singham act this time. Or, the Wanted act. Bollywood has reduced him to a unidimensional character, while we all know that he is capable of this and much more. He is good. He is fine, actually. Because this is stuff that he can do sleepwalking, most likely.

The poor guy who took his shirt off in Ready is the third villain, and takes off his shirt in this movie as well. He is the same guy who had a pretty impressive antagonist role in Jodha Akbar. Now, you remember?

Chaubeyji, Tiwariji and Siddiqui and others along with Mathur saab (the Bhatia saab of office office fame) support adequately. They are the equivalents of Mahmood, Asrani, Keshto and co in the modern era.

The opening sequence is a montage of well remembered scenes from the previous installment, sans the dialogues.

The music is not Munni-esque but is good enough to be chartbuster. Fevicol, Seeti bajaye, Dagabaz, etc. are all just about there to make it to the charts. And stick on long enough to make the movie work.

The movie has some very (seemingly) force-fitted scenes to project Sonakshi as ‘sexy’. Jeans on a bike, backless blouses, a morning-after scene , etc. Maybe not a big personality, but she has a face big enough to fill an entire screen. You’ve got to give her that much. She continues to be a well cast bad actress.

In short, it’s a great Salman movie. Enjoy it if you know how to enjoy it. By the way, did I tell you watching Salman’s movie with his real fans at single screen theaters is the best way to watch his movies. And because it’s true, the number of fake whistlers is going up, sadly. When you watch a movie at Chandan, it’s very easy to distinguish between those who love Salman, and those who want to project that they love this Salman-ism . You know that point where doing rusty stuff is the ubercool chic thing? So, it would be typically be – “Oh my god, did you see that Versace bag ya? Ooh. I am like soo going back there after the movie. You know what. We should learn how to do these whistles ya. It’s so much fun. Oooh.” And at this point, I leave you with King Julien and his whistling skills.

Watch from 0:20 till 0:48

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The Hobbit: Soul-less Brilliance

December 19, 2012 4 Comments

What do I tell someone who’s see the LOTR trilogy about The Hobbit? And what do I tell someone who hasn’t seen the LOTR trilogy about The Hobbit?

The truth is – Hobbit is a “right” movie. The scale at which it is made, the digi-work, the camera angles, the sets, the colours and the … Brilliant. But, the movie has no soul. It’s a perfectly designed robot that resembles human body.

The movie starts a tad too slow while it labours through the initial sequence where thirteen dwarves are supposed to be introduced. Yet, the three dwarves that you really remember at the end are Dwalin, Kili and Thorin. Even Balin’s impression is a little weak. Balin finds his place once the party moves into the mountains as he tells Thorin’s story. But, Thorin, while being Aragorn-ish, is not exactly Aragorn. Viggo Mortenses drove Aragorn’s quest to your heart like a dagger. Maybe over the second and third movie a lot more. And I hope Thorin gets there as well. Unfortunately, Gloin (the one you’ve tracked from Gimli, Son of Gloin) does not get much face time. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Fili etc are just mumbled jumbled names that you won’t even catch. And now I come to the problem no. 1. Gandalf. A glowing Gandalf of a story 60 years later (LOTR) is replaced by a faded Gandalf here. Ian Mckellan carries the movie on his shoulders, but he does not look like the same Gandalf. He is a fatigued version of himself. And I don’t blame him. Martin Freeman as Bilbo is delightful, though. His awkwardness is pitch perfect.

Whenever I think of The Fellowship Of The Ring, I remember that one shot sequence where Arwen is being chased by the Nazgul horse riders as she’s trying to save Bilbo and enter Rivendell. The entire sequence is phenomenalobalistic. I kept looking for something as new as that. The Orcs and Mordor – they all look like great paintings that you’ve seen before. The novelty is missing. Mr. Jackson – you’ve made a perfectly beautiful soul-less movie. And it makes me wonder if they were all right – that you sold your soul when you agreed to do these three Hobbit movies.

– Link to ‘that’ video

And that’s the last question on my mind – WHY THREE? If all three LOTR books deserved a movie a piece, why does Hobbit get three movies? Is there anything more here than encashing the success of LOTR? Or, despite what I felt was a reasonably sluggish first instalment, there will be enough to keep part two and three interesting and well paced?

Now then – I have been critical too long. The movie, as I mentioned, is reasonably perfect in its making. All the dwarves and Mr. Baggins are perfect. But the one who has really killed it is the digitalised Andy Serkis as Gollum/Smeagol. Gollum is my pick of the lot this time. What menacing details! And my bad for not mentioning that one stand-out scene. The riddle scene between Smeagol and Bilbo is brilliant. Only if there were more of such well crafted scenes.

End note – Watch it for you’ve loved the LOTR series. Or, watch it because you missed watching LOTR in the theatres. Its a well made movie. But, it’s not Jackson’s best. Jackson heights have not been surpassed.

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“The Last Act” is a well-intentioned Sunday afternoon watch

December 16, 2012 11 Comments

At the beginning of The Last Act, you wonder why it was intentioned to be such a low key release under Director’s Rare, so strong is the initial spell. You are spellbound as the movie builds momentum in the first couple of acts. Yet as the spell fades, the movie meanders and flounders, and another promise remains unfulfilled. You realise a lot of things that are wrong with the movie.

The movie has everything right about its description – A dead body with unknown identities, 12 clues found on the body, each leading to a different city. 12 directors have directed individual sections (cities) and one of them also tries to bring the conclusion together. The plot is conceived by Anurag Kashyap. And all of these are the right reasons why the movie keeps you on the seat.

The plot is intriguing, and as an afterthought, I must say that the conclusion is a very interesting one too. I have no intentions of revealing any of the spoilers.

The twelve cities, and sub-plots, are presented in uniquely different styles, ranging from simplistically linear and effective presentations to queasy metaphorical representations. The actors, barring a couple (like Saurabh Shukla and Asif Basra) are new names and new faces. Yet, most of them are effective in their miniature roles. Hardly anyone has more than 5 minutes of screen presence, which helps you not dwell too much on their shortcomings. So, your entire focus on plot inconsistencies, and quality of story telling within each section. And it is here that the movie flounders.

There are far too many loose-ends (and I mean loose-ends, not incidents/events open to interpretation) in the movie. Also, from a narrative standpoint, some of the details seem way too coincidental, too-far fetched, or two creative. And the most baffling of them is the missing sense of timelines from any of these events. The Pune and Chandigarh sequences are a little too esoteric, while the Hissar sequence hardly adds anything to the story anyway. Take these three out and you’d still have a very intriguing movie, I’d guess.

Yet, the movie still offers a lot of high points in the way the story is told and the plot is brought together. Some of the actors are top class in their performances. The cops in the Ghaziabad and Delhi stories, Ameena in the Delhi story, the psychotic cop in Pune, the khaini eating cop from Mumbai, and a whole bunch of others stand out. The calcutta sequence is delightful. The background score of the movie is quite good. The dead body in the opening scene is a little too flimsy and hence the impact of the blood and gore is not as hard hitting as it could have been. You can clearly see the outline of the puppet. Occasionally, the camera guys are visible in mirror reflections as well. But those are minor flaws considering the kind of forum Anurag has provided to these budding film makers. And on that, given the budget on which the movie is made, and the overall entertainment value of the film, I’d give it a big thumbs up. It’s better to support these movies than ridiculous movies like JTHJ or SOTY or …

Endnote: Watch it at home on a Sunday afternoon. Or theater (this week) if you want to support more such movies.

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Talaash can be watched. But only once

December 1, 2012 6 Comments

** No Spoliers **

There are several well constructed and bewildering moments in Talaash, the stand out being the introduction of Shernaz Patel as Feni Mistry . The queerness of her personality in her introduction scene is quickly replaced by a reasonably mature albeit abnormal personality, sadly.

Let that not deter you because Talash is a very well made movie. Slowly brewed, gripping, especially in the first half, the movie is carried forward by Aamir Khan’s intensity more than anything else. The movie is also a very gentle reminder of how good an actress Rani Mukherjee is and how she has wasted her career. The movie further reminds you that Kareena is beautiful, has oodles of expressions, and is extremely lazy about acting. The others are props. Much as is being said about Nawazuddin (it’s fashionable to talk about him), he is just about fine in the movie. And if you set the bar by his recent performances, below average. Shernaz is a disappointment, unexpectedly. Rajkumar Yadav – good but wasted. Almost everyone else exists to give Aamir a chance to act some more.

In a world where bundling is becoming a common phenomenon, Reema Kagti and Zoya Akhtar have managed to compensate for the discounted script with some good background score (Ram Sampath) and good camerawork. The movie maintains the feel and the ambience and the colour pallettes of a good suspense thriller. The music is good and maintains the pace of the movie. Songs are not distracting. One of the full-length songs (“jee le zara” in the background) could have been trimmed for the movie.

The last 10-15 minutes of the movie are an unqualified torture on your senses. One thing that I am strictly against  is thrillers trying to round off everything and then continuing on for some more.  Simplicity is such a difficult thing.

You cannot avoid getting pissed at the gaping flaws in the script. And it’s very difficult to unleash your fury at Reema and Co unless you are allowed to criticise most of the focal diversions in the movie. So, I will skip to the biggest problem with the movie. It’s a movie that can not be watched twice, much as it is a movie that you would not mind watching once.

So, go for it. Before someone as idiotic as Kamaal R Khan spoils the movie for you.

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Life of Pi… is a visual masterpiece

November 29, 2012 3 Comments

I enjoy everything and anything incremental that a movie can offer. Apart from the duration of the movie. So, watching a moving at IMAX usually means that I come out a touch more satisfied than usual. But IMAX or no-IMAX, Life of Pi is a visually breathtaking film. Its a giant canvas of a goddamn brilliant painter who’s used colours and patterns to near-perfection. Also, like most good paintings, its a poetry. Except that its a touch too long.

As I sat through the 2 hour 7 minutes of Life of Pi, there were several moments of drifting in your thoughts as you spend a minute too much thinking about what you’ve just seen. 127 minutes isn’t a lot, but is long enough. I can compare it to that stoic test match innings where the batting and the bowling are intense and awesome, but because neither there are wickets falling or runs being scored, I may have a tendency to switch channels, just to take a break.

I have already said it- the movie works like a spell. It keeps you mesmerised with some awesome imagination. The zoom outs and camera angles that accentuate Pi’s state of mind, his loneliness, the vastness of his world, and the insignificance of his ordeal, all at the same time. The surreal transformation between real and imaginary, the choice of colours, the scene of the ocean, and the empathy you feel all through Pi’s journey. It’s digital wizardry at its best. It makes you forget that you’ve seen much better performances from Irfan Khan and Tabu. Tabu has a small role, but she has traditionally proven her strengths in 30-seconds scenes. Somewhere, the need to have an “accent” (Indian, Indianized, Americanized, whatever) restraints dialogue delivery. Think for a moment – These are Patels in Pondicherry. So, Gujarati accent is good. Tamil accent is good. Even a bit of French accent is good. But the accent is a mishmash of several fake american indian accents. One of the big drawbacks of the movie for me was that I didn’t connect much with Suraj Sharma (Pi). I think his performance is just about average. It does not spoil the movie, but it doesn’t elevate the movie either.

Richard Parker is awesome. While there are several frames where you wonder whether Mr. Parker is real enough (which probably was the point), the close-in expressions of Parker are  a wonder to behold. They seem to be a right balance of a zoo-ed animal who’s wild enough.

The background score is superb. I loved it.

Somewhere, I felt, that the last 15 minutes of the movie damage it a lot. There is a “believe in God” angle that’s overplayed, and a drone of a closure as the Japanese officials interview Pi. You are better off re-reading the book sections after the meerkats incident. That section of the book is of profound importance but does not come out as strongly in the movie.

In short, Ang Lee stays true to most of the book, and has delivered a spectacular movie. Its near-Avatar, visually/digitally speaking, and several luminescent-blue frames will keep reminding you of Avatar. It’s worth a watch. In a theatre.

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Jab Tak Hai Jaan – Bachaa Ke Bhaago

November 16, 2012 3 Comments

I dont want to say that Jab Tak Hai Jaan is a bad movie. That would be too generous on the man who gave us Kabhi Kabhi and Silsila. I don’t want to pity him after his death. I do feel bad though. His last outing was Veer Zaara, which even at an indulgent pace, and with extreme hyperbole, had traces of Yash Chopra that made it tolerable. And it had a bunch of good actors playing their part, including the music department.

JTHJ is a finely crafted bouquet of mediocrity from one of the most resourceful production houses of the country. Yash Chopra can rope in exotic locales, big actors, expansive sets, color coordinated choreographed sequences, so his is not the story of someone having to make intellectual compromises because he ran out of resources. His is a case of either dying at the wrong time (which meant that he did not look at the last version of his product) or a case of blatant idiocy. Given the extremely emotional end-credits footage, I will go with the latter.

For those who prefer short reviews, summary reasons why I disliked the movie (detailed later)-
1. Bad Script
2. Horrible acting
3. Ridiculous pace
4. Painful set pieces
5. Murder of some good music
6. 45 year old SRK as a 28 year old street singer
7. End of debate about Anushka’s “potential”

The good thing was that there were some 7-8 trailers – Race2, Talaash, Dabangg 2, Mere Dad ki Maruti, Khiladi 786, Twilight, and a couple I am forgetting. Also, the 5-10 minutes of banter between SRK and his friend in the second half is better than the rest of the movie (its a pity that IMDB or several other sources do not identify his friend’s real name). And yeah, one stand out dialogue, which comes from Rishi Kapoor – “Har ishq ka ek waqt hota hai!”
I want to spare SRK a bit on this movie. He is the only one who holds this movie together, despite not being the best suited for the role.

*****************

Side story: Someone asked how do I end up watching these movies (SOTY, JTHJ, kinds) – and a conjecture is that biwi says we are going, and I say yes ma’m. However, as you know, life is more complicated than that. It will be unfair to blame the biwi completely. I should rather blame it on my undying optimism. That some day, that one day, that once in my lifetime, someone in this industry would actually spend money on a good script and then back it up with insane amount of funding to create an end product that I’d fall in love with. So much so that I would come out of the theater only to walk right back in for another show. Philosophical shite aside, this is how it happened –

Mom-and-dad (biwi’s parents) are in town for Diwali. As I was leaving for the station to pick them up, biwi casually mentioned – “before I forget, and in case I haven’t told you, we are watching JTHJ tomorrow. 11 AM. So, if you were making any plans…”.
I said – “OK. By the way, is the ticket for today or for tomorrow? Since today is a chutti as well.”
“Tomorrow.”
“OK”.
Next day morning 10AM. “Shit! The ticket was for yesterday”.
“Shit. I asked you to check”(laughing heartily inside my head).
“Shit Shit Shit!”.
“We can’t book online now. Less than an hour left. Lets go to the theater and check”.
“Hmm”.
“Hmm. I think we will get it. Morning show hai yaar.”(Wildly happy by now, in the hope that there are enough idiots out there who would want to watch this one, and the show would be sold out. And then, we would watch Son of Sardar) (NO! You cannot ask me why SOS would be any better!)
“Chalo.”
Happily drives for the next 20-25 minutes. Asks biwi to go get the ticket while parking, hoping to get a call announcing the inevitable. Call happens. Tickets have been procured.
“Ticket mil gayee. Kahaan ho?”, she says.
Sends a curse up the air. Parks, throws a few curses under his breath, and the house-band marches on to Screen 7 of PVR Cinemas, Phoenix MarketCity, Kurla (the one which announces – learn to say Kurla with an accent- yep- that one).

 

**********

 

Now then, the detailing –

1. Bad script. The number of loopholes being what they are, and historically, not a real problem for someone like me, the number of idiotic things that happen in the movie are mind boggling. A man with a case of retrograde amnesia walks into a cordoned off area because of a bomb scare starts saying something about the bomb and the Brit cops are more than happy to let him touch the bomb and go about detonating it. Obviously the fact that its a train station is not so important. And that guy is a brown guy in a white country isnt either. In a separate scene, a chick strips down to bare essentials and doesnt feel the sting of cold air in Leh. Another man is sitting in a t-shirt. And when she jumps into water, the cold water numbs the senses of a national level swimmer within 5 seconds to such an extent that she drowns. But the other man manages to get her out of water, and comfortably drive away in his wet suit. Well! The bomb diffusion scene (first one) seems like a straight lift from The Hurt Locker.
2. Horrible acting – Katrina Kaif, by herself, is usually good enough to take care of the acting problems. The others, by halo effect, look like good actors. In this movie, Anushka and Katrina are fiercely competitive. Katrina wins by one expression. That is, she has one, while Anushka has two. Expressions.
Katrina has an amazing happy expression, where she is romantically running around or dancing or whatever with some good or average music in the background. Her second expression is one of extreme disinterest. No expression at all. She mouths dialogues, but the face remains the same, and as the biwi points out – her eyebrows dont move at all. At all! Now, pan the camera (slowly and romantically) on Anushka. She is better. She has two expressions. One that classifies her as the true born of a Punjabi family. Everything is – O Teri kinds! And the second is when she is the true born Punjabi who is trying to hold her emotion back but a traitor tear finds its way out. You know the happy sad tragic kinds. There is no third expression really that comes to mind (or screen) when you think of her.
3. Ridiculous pace – The movie moves at a pace which is in line with the old age parable involving a hare and a tortoise where eventually the slow and the steady wins the race. Unfortunately, no one in that parable defined till what speed can it be considered “slow” and for what duration can it be called “steady”. The movie makes you check your watch so often that if you carry a set of dumb-bells to the movie and wear a watch on both your wrists, you will surely come out with Arnie – biceps.
4. Painful and inappropriate music set pieces – This one is a traditional strength of YR. Remember “Aaya tere dar pe deewana” from Veer Zaara. Ridiculous scene but music used well. Ends with Shahrukh wearing a black shawl and looking on with intense eyes. Yeah. This one, however, sets up a dance sequence where KK will dance to her hearts glory (on the streets, true Step Up style) and discover her inner peace. Way I see it, the sequence features some good dancers as extras/foils who are relegated to the background, to highlight an amazingly un-graceful dancer (KK) and an otherwise extremely energetic dancer (SRK) who has a broken back and who is well past his expiry date when it comes to dancing. So, it looks comical. And a wasted opportunity. Maybe, then, that was the idea. And it bloody goes on for close to ten minutes with the Ishq Dance followed by Ishq Shava. Phew! So much for a generation which is fed Jhalak Dikhla Ja and Dance India Dance and similar shows at least 4-5 days a week (and with multiple reruns across channels, including news channels)
5. Death of some good music – Heer is a brilliant track. I loved playing it on loop. Sadly, once you’ve seen Katrina emote that one on screen, it loses all emotions. She spoilt the song for me. Thankfully, not so much that I can’t listen to it anymore. Likewise, Challa is a good song where the chosen voice does not sound like it belongs to SRK. And once you see SRK on the screen jumping on the song, it becomes worse.
6. End of debate around Anushka’s potential – Now I am convinced that she is not good for anything else but playing the happy punjabi kudi. That, thankfully, she does quite well.
7. SRK as a 45 year old 28 year old guy – PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK, will you? Wasn’t it enough that Aamir Khan was playing a gyaani 17 year old guy in 3-idiots? That guy at least tries to look more earnest about getting his walk,talk right.
8. The movie is a barrage of set pieces where the lead actors (or supporting cast) have the opportunity to deliver some amazing cheesebally suger coated syrupy inanities. The kinds that when spoken in real life, amongst good friends, especially when you’re young, are bound to draw guffaws. Imagine you talking to your girlfriend, and saying things like – “meri aur xyz ki kahaani us adhoori kitaab ki tarah hai jinke panne umr ke thapedon mein dhundhle se ho gaye hain. kuch harf nazar nahi aate, kuch sirf khayalon mein hain!” I mean, really, do you expect your friends to empathise with this profound statement. Most likely, they will hold silent for, exactly, maybe, 5 seconds. And then, hell shall break loose. But anyway, YR is known for getting away with those profound moments, making generations of women believe that true love happens when there are roses blooming, people standing on the alps in nothing but a t-shirt, and people narrating love poems in uber cool baritones – jab tak hai jaan, jab tak hai jaan.

Last thought – Jab tak hai jaan… bachaa ke bhaag lo. OR, if there was a positive spin to it – “Dekh lo. iske baad sab kuch acha lagega, jab tak rahegi jaan”

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Movie Review: Student Of The Year

October 20, 2012 1 Comment

Now, now! Don’t get me wrong. I was scared. Scared out of my wits. But I knew I had to do it. It’s one of those things you do for love. True love. And so, I did it. And to my surprise, I came out alive. And quite well, if I may add.

Student Of The Year, or SOTY as it has become, famously paraded for the gaana wala song, isn’t half or or one third as bad as I expected it to be. It’s breezy, designer led, well-edited, and with a heavy dose of skin show and brawny muscular aspirational crap. And it’s watchable. No, its not Heroine. It’s not Kuch Kuch Hota Hai either.

The first fifteen minutes of this movie are crappy. Really crappy. I have heard people review the introductions of these bozos with aplomb, but they suck. But thankfully, the rest of the movie is not as bad. Once the grand introductions where the under-age lady pouts with all her colors, the first dude murders a guitar (what’s the guitar murder count of bollywood btw?), and the second dude goes on to prove why we are such a wannabe soccer country.

After that, thankfully, KJo moves on to school antics, banter, reasonably immature doucheness in a mega-douche school, group of friends-turned-enemies, school stuff, and finally, dumbledore’s triwizard tournament opens up.

To be fair, both the actors (Siddharth and Varun) have acted well, Siddharth acting a touch better than Varun. For all the Alia conversations, she is what our industry has reduced most actresses to – a showpiece. She pouts, sings, dances, sheds a tear here and there, and gets a total of 90 seconds of acting time in a 150 minute+ movie. And yeah, she does not act that well. But that hasn’t been a deterrent in bollywood either.

The support staff is actually better than the core, and have a reasonably high amount of screen presence. The start is a little off-key for Kaizaad (played by Kayoze Irani, son of Boman Irani) but he comes back very strongly. Manjot Singh is kinda wasted. Rishi Kapoor has not been used to the max, but is good in limited doses. Ronit roy and Ram Kapoor hang in there. Everyone else (including Farida Jalal) has a 1 minute deal in the movie and they’ve all done their bit to keep the movie interesting.An extremely interesting sidenote is the behavior of families behind these students who study at this insanely posh school. In a brilliant 2 minute window, KJo smartly demolishes a lot of the glitter that went into the school.

The music did t really work for me as much. Surprisingly, Gaana Wala Song is still the best song of the movie, followed by Radha/Ratta Maar. The remixes of old songs is fine, but only so much. But there are a few songs too many. But then, KJo indulges himself when he directs, and accepts so.

Everything else is irrelevant. It’s a long movie which does not bore you. You may hate the idea of watching it, but most likely you won’t hate watching it. It’s KJo’s bollywood grandeur at display. And it’s a movie that will make serious money, esp. overseas.  I am not exactly recommending you watch it, but I did come out not hating the movie.

 

Oh, by the way, the movie has too many bloopers. So. don’t bother thinking about them.

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Movie Review: Barfi!

September 17, 2012 4 Comments

There is a point in the movie where Barfi, sitting in a store room, is carving Shruti’s name on a “Prestige Pressure Cooker” (jo apni biwi se kare pyaar, wo prestige se kaise kare inkaar), and he notices her inside the shop. As he tries to confirm, the camera pans and moves from blinds to blinds till Barfi is sure. Shruti Sengupta looks like a Bengali baudi should, and Barfi approaches her. But stops, and takes out his comb and gets his appearance right. He tries to whistle but obviously, he doesn’t know that his whistle is silent. And then Shruti turns around. They make eye contact and Shruti goes through a series of conflicting emotions interrupted by the honking of her husband Ranjit, and Barfi carries the pressure cooker for her to outside the shop – that 90-120 second montage of emotions – that’s poetry. And that’s Barfi – four cheese fondue – dipped in four of the nine rasas – shringar, hasya, karuna, and adbhut.

The theatre erupts, holds its breath, sighs, and (almost) cries with Barfi. It amuses you, and keeps you smiling throughout. It makes you draw parallels with several things without ever slowing down so much so that you start caring about the parallel more than you care about Barfi. It tries to be a thriller in the middle, and while you cringe about the villain being too much of a villain, it finds the hero inside them as well.

The music blends so beautifully that you almost don’t notice it. The lyrics are poetic and situational. The sound is Darjeeling. Remember the fresh feel of kashto maza from Parineeta. Barfi’s soundtrack is made up of quite a few of those light in the middle and effervescent at the outside poignant songs. In fact, as discussed offline, the soundtrack sounds more like Shantanu Moitra than Pritam.

The tragedy is never overplayed, nor the deformities. The lack of dialogues does not bother you. Ileana’s voiceover is a good supplement, administered as required. And it’s not soppy to the point where you feel like it’s a rooting for the underdog movie. The screenplay is tight and lucid, even though it gets into a two-three layered flashback at certain points.

While it is brutal to compare it to “The Artist”, but the artist of this movie, while imitating Chaplin and Rowan Atkinson, has left a searing imprint on bollywood. Ranbir Kapoor is brilliant. Make that – BRILLIANT. I won’t analyze further.

Special mention for Ileana who is breathtakingly beautiful without looking unreal, Priyanka who’s making half the industry wonder how did she pull this one off. The world’s wondering what might have happened had she pulled off What’s Your Rashee and Saat Khoon Maaf in a similar fashion. She does go overboard a few times, but is, on the overall, very very good.

Anurag Basu has figured out that the three musicians (three blind mice?) in the background are his lucky charm. They were there in Life in a Metro, and they’re here too. He indulges himself. Not just once. But you will forgive him for that. For many of my generation, the throwback on the eighties and nineties is nice, albeit exaggerated. And thankfully, it’s a prop, and not the point.

The movie, in a very Masand like preachiness, is not without its flaws. It runs longer than it should, and there are stretches where you would want to gloss over rather than go through it again and again. But then, which classic have you read where there aren’t a few pages of creative self indulgence! There are times when Barfi’s Chaplin moments could have been snipped out, but then, they keep the theater light as well. It’s almost sad to see Ashish Vidyarthi becoming a shadow of what he could have been, but then, it wasn’t a movie for him. Biggest gripe I have is – Ileana does not speak Hindi the way Bongs would. While it probably does not matter, but with so much of the region thrown in here and there juts for the flavor, it would have helped to get some of those details right (the way Kahanii did). Saurabh Shukla is good, but then again, the region is missing from the dialect. Considering that he and Ileana have most of the dialogues in the movie, it would have been good to have. The level of detailing leaves a lot, but that’s not going to be a complaint you carry as you leave the theater.

Some of the emotions are left unexplained. And that’s good. I won’t tell you which ones.

By the way, I do think that an older Ranbir will look exactly as he’s shown in the movie. And Ileana looks so gracefully old. Good job by the makeup artists for not turning them into caricatures.

Endnote: Lovely movie. A 9 on 10. When you come out, you stay silent, and in your zone for a bit. And that zone is a happy place. So, please watch it.

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Movie Review: Ek Tha Tiger

August 15, 2012 7 Comments

It’s almost an insulting thing to do. An attempt to review Salman’s movies of late. It is. And yet, with my love for his irreverent acts, I do it. However, I have realized how to solve for it.
From here on, if I do a rating on his movies, I would use a rating scale of 1 to 5 salmans, instead of 1 to 5 stars or something like that. How much of Salman-ism did you see in the movie. And on that token, I think Dabangg was a solid 5 Salmans, Wanted was 4, Ready was 4 and Bodyguard was 3.5 or so. Each of these is a MEGA HIT. So, my conclusion right now is that a movie which has more than 3 Salmans rating will easily cross 100Cr+

Now, to ETT – Its a 3.5 Salman movie. My prophesy puts this one close to 200Cr.

This one actually has a plot, and if they had kept the topsy turviness for a bit more, it would have been great for the movie. They could have snipped a couple of emotional scenes for that.
This one has a brilliant Salman. It has some awesome action and chase sequences. Now, one of the gold standards for me is the initial chase sequence in Bond’s Casino Royale when Daniel Craig chases the dude forever. This one, due to the lack of similar athleticism, tries to make do with slo-mo camera work. And there’s more than one of them chases in the movie. SO, that was kinda neat. I think, and I think I am alone in thinking so – Katrina was brilliant in the movie. Some part of her accent still kills the dialogue, but for most part of the movie, she was the perfect foil to Salman. And believe you me – during the action sequences, I heard as many hoots and whistles for her as there were for Salman. So, dear body double of Katrina for the jumps and hoops, you were brilliant.

The let down is the music. This one does not have a Munni or a dheela character. Mashallah is an afterthought. The rest of the songs are not sticky. And in some ways, spoil the pace of the movie.

Kabir Khan’s life is not going to get bigger than this. I don’t think he has talent. I think he is an average guy with better than average luck on his side.

Ranvir Shorey is wasted, and barring a couple of scenes, Girish Karnad too. The movie is all about Salman. And Katrina. Katrina – you’re finally coming of age. And if my movie reviews are worth much, than you can see how my opinion of you has been evolving steadily. Just as your career.

Sallu bhai – tussi too much ho. Too much.

Dear Readers – those of you who love Sallu bhai – this movie, again, is a must watch. However, this time, the pseudo intellectuals can give it a try as well. I don’t think I know any real intellectuals visiting this blog – so I think I can skip that part.

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“The Dark Knight Rises” Falls

July 23, 2012 Leave a comment

First up, before you all go up in arms against me, remember that you’re talking to a die hard fan who has just come out after watching two back to back shows of the movie (one at a regular PVR and the other at IMAX), who’s debated the ins and outs of all three movies with friends over the years (and hours). That aside, I think the facebook based endearment of TDKR has failed to resonate with me. It’s almost a series of fanboys (like me) who are afraid of saying that the movie is not even in the same zipcode as what Nolan delivers so consistently. The movie is strictly OK. Not an epic finale to an epic trilogy. Nolan has given us the Joker. And Inception. And Nolan has given us a lot more. And with that barometer, normalized for time and scale, this might be his worst outing ever. And Nolan’s worst outing being an epic finale, seems like a mindless conclusion to me. We know he is capable of better.

YES. I could not help but compare it with the epic greatness that Nolan and Ledger delivered the last time. The scale of story-telling, the characters, and the field of vision of TDK were at a different scale. And so were the action sequences. The first movie had Ra’s-Al-Ghul played by Liam Neeson, who torments Bruce Wayne/ Batman. You cherish his doubt. You loath his moral high ground. Second movie had Joker. ‘Nuff said. This movie has Bane. And Talia. And the biggest bane of Bane is that one moment where he is reduced to being a monster in love, and Talia is reduced to being a carrier of her father’s will. The motives, though aligned with the league of shadows, are petty. For you know clearly that the motive is not the league. It is revenge.

No. I did not find the action to be jaw-dropping. The first sequence with the airplane is OK. The stadium sequence is wonderful. The end action sequence with the scale of manhattan, is OK OK. Haven’t we seen destruction at a bigger scale in Avengers, or Transformers already? So, what’s the jaw dropping part? Huh? Come again? Huh? No, I don’t agree…

TDKR has too many long and indulgent dialogues. It seems like people are talking and talking and talking. Quite frequently, the conversation tries to be profound. Like we are used to them being profound when Nolan’s writing. But its only every now and then that it actually is. Beyond a point, it plays with your patience.

And beyond a point, the story started resembling Jigar. Remember that Ajay Devgan movie. Back broken, dude fights back. All for revenge. Or, the Ganga Jamuna Saraswati style Amitabh. Can overcome all physical odds and a broken vertebrae fixed through with a punch, like only pahalwans on Najafgarh Road can do. The fact that Ra’s Al Ghul was mentioned and not Superman’s dad as the reason why Bane/ Talia decided to go rogue does not make it a tight plot. People need their reasons, as Joker would remind them.

The high point is the absolutely crackling Selina Kyle. She delivers. As a vixen thief with a heart. And looks perfectly natural in the action sequences. Marilon Coutillard’s La Vie En Rose is a piece to remember her for. Not TDKR. The usual suspects are the usual suspects. Though I must say that I like Levitt’s balance in acting.

And yeah, Hans Zimmer’s background score is phenomenal. Again.

You know a problem with a performance appraisal system? When you ace it in an year, you also build an expectation. SO, when you fail it next year, your fall from grace is harder. I won’t say that you should not watch the movie. Even if you sleep through it or read only the subtitles that Mumbai movie theaters have graciously started showing for language noobs like me, TDKR is a lot better than subjecting yourself to a Cocktail or Rowdy Rathore. Or, Kya Super Kool Hain Hum.

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Supermen, Untouchables, and Cocktails

July 16, 2012 7 Comments

I had a mixed bag weekend. Of the three movies that I watched, two left me speechless, and the third left me speechless too.

Let’s start the evening with Cocktails

I will start with the worst one. It is called Cocktail. It starred a star who’s started looking like a teen din purana naan (3-day old stale naan) – layers of rubber that stretch all you want without breaking, and is a bad idea for a good meal – Saif Ali. You can keep chewing on it, but it won’t get over. No, it won’t. Like this movie. Naan-sense movies should not be given ratins, but Naan-rating. It also stars Ms. Deepika Padukone, who I believe is going to be the biggest whistleblower for the industry someday (given the number of guys she has been associated with and actually knows a good deal about the performance(s) of). And then there is the new girl – Diana Penty. Enough has been said about her surname already, so I will spare her on that one. One of the things I have inferred about casting in bollywood is this – when they audition someone for a lead actress role, they surely would be asking a lot of questions – including surname, most likely. They definitely check your looks, the length of your legs, and the length of the shortest thing you’d wear to cover those legs. But somewhere they forget to ask a question, which should be the question – Can you act? That’s the only justification for Aishwarya, Deepika, Katrina, and the likes. Diana seems to be a protege of the Katrina school, and Deepika is already on her way to be the next Katrina. Deepika is in a hurry though, and started trying out acting too soon, I think. Why don’t you just come, do some jiggy wiggy chiggy wiggy, and get to take the hero home in the end? Agar yehi safedi, yahi jhaag, kam daamo mein mile to koi wo kyon le, ye na le? Btw, that slice advertisement that runs during every big cinema movie interval (yeah, the one with Katrina Kaif), could well be a saree, a condom, a vacation, or well, as an afterthought, a mango drink ad. It’s funny how the creative directors thought of the last option as the first.

The movie is so bad that there is only one thing that saved it from my wrath. The audience. Right behind me, we had a rather “vocal journalist” from burrp. He ensured that his reaction to every scene of the movie could be measured by the quality of his burrps. For a bad scene, two resounding burrps, and a small tiny one for the less harming scenes. Also, there were enough people in the theater who found something funny in every other scene. I envy them. They can find joy where none exists. They all are the true hermits. Siddhartha! Nevertheless, I shall move on to the joy that I could discover. On a somewhat positive note, the song Jugni was quite good. And finally, I conclude, it’s band jawani (of band baaja kinds). Not banned jawani, or behan jawani, or pained jawani, or something else.

From Naan to Supermen

What a movie!!! Really… Malegaon ka Superman runs close to 70 minutes or so. Getting up early and driving to Juhu was all worth the effort (and without breakfast too). Even PVR’s extremely messed up service level that early in the morning (9AM) could not take the taste away. The movie is almost a docu-movie. Handheld cameras, shaky angles, unplanned shots, candid camera moments, and the works. Loaded with innocence, the irony of movie making, an entire expose on 50K-100K movies, rural aspirations, society and life, the contradictions that people live every day, the small joys that keep them going. It never seems like the cast is acting, because most likely, they are not. Or maybe they are, and they are just too good. There is a point in the movie where the camera falls in water and the shoot is cancelled. Naseer, the director, is absolutely devastated who keeps convincing himself that it will be fine. And while keeping at it positively, he also keeps talking about the shooting delays of 2 days it might cause. All this while, the poor superman, shivering with cold, is floating on water on a tyre tube, trying to wade himself to the shore. That sequence tugs so hard at you with its poignant and ironical sense of humor that’s difficult to explain. The scene where the cinema (or video parlour) owners/ attendants run for their life just after they open the shutters, as throngs of people run each other over to get to the best seat in the parlour, and the expressions shown on their face (later in the movie) as they are watching a dubbed english movie, the shadow of the cigarette smoke, are priceless. Or, the four day delay caused because superman is getting married. I can keep going on forever about how a tightly edited, honestly crafted 70 minute movie(?) cobbled together with no stars whatsoever is worth more than hundreds of skin-shows like Cocktails that bollywood graces us with. The movie was screened under PVR’s Director’s Rare initiative (and the ticket was all of 70 bucks for the 9AM show). Yes, such movies are a rarity in our country. Rarely do people pack their bags and say thank you when they are done saying what they had to say. So, thank you Nasir Shaikh. For introducing us to the supermen of malegaon.

Touch the Intouchables

Intouchables touches you. And how beautifully. The movie doesn’t try to do too many things. It explores the relationship between an unlikey duo – a low society-from the projects-criminal background man taking care of and becoming a great friend to a filthy rich paraplegic. The story is full of pain and pity, and yet there is none. The movie overflows with genuine moments of connect between two people – not forced sentimental long dialogues, but two people who connect because they connect. Because there’s a spark to their conversations. Because they are naturally different. The lead actors are absolutely brilliant. Even the dubbing was quite fine, but I wouldn’t mind just the subtitles as well. One thing that needs a mention – background score. It was pitch perfect. And the strip down of most melodramatic moments is brilliant. There are some butchered sacred cows as well – the way Driss replaces Chopin, Beethoven and Mozart with the music from Kool and the gand and the likes, and gets the drab party on its feet, or Phillip’s hitler moustache moment, or the furious laughter during an opera. The movie has such comic moments that you forget the tragedy that underlies them. Right from the way Driss lifts Phillippe like a puppet and his body hangs about limply, to the life in the projects, and the coversations between Driss and Lyovanne. Here’s one from Driss – “There’s no way I am emptying another man’s ass. It’s a matter of Principle. Stockings were bad, but I did it. But there’s no way I am emptying another man’s ass.”

It’s a beautifully told true story. So, if you think you just wasted 300 bucks on Cocktail, please go and watch Intouchables. There aren’t too many shows of that movie, and most likely it will be off the screens this Friday, once the Dark Knight returns.

 

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Movie Review: Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

February 12, 2012 Leave a comment

I saw Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu Friday night, and was fascinated by my end reaction to the movie. I did not expect it to be what I came out to be – Good!

I have maintained it for some time that Imran is Bollywood’s answer to Hugh Grant. Looks like a douche/chom, can’t act much, mumbo jumbos most of his dialogues, and is almost perfect for low involvement rom-coms.Remember Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa/ I Hate Love Storys?

Kareena, as well, is absolutely cut out for these roles. Chirpy girl with loads of attitude and brashness, keeping some of her issues under layers of enthusiasm, with about 15 minutes reserved for some sadness and drama. She is a reasonably good actress, who is lazy and risk averse.

The movie, I conclude, is a very pleasant rom-com. It is short, doesn’t prolong anyone’s agony (including that of the viewers), does not try to take things to an (Indian) logical conclusion, and keeps most of the songs in the background.The music is fine, though disappointing on the back of my expectations from Amit Trivedi ( after Dev D, Udaan, Aamir and the likes). Surprisingly, the chemistry between Imran and Kareena is quite good.

Sorter than 120 minutes is an achievement in indian cinema. Strike one.

Crisp editing is an aberration rather than a rule. Strike two.

Jokes are not necessarily loaded with sexual innuendos, and dive more from conersational wit and timing. Strike three.

 

I went in with low expectation, and mostof them were beaten. So, i was happy. Only one word of caution – either watch it in a theater where everyone loves commenting (or, “interacting” with the screen). Or, where no one does. BUT, not in a thrater where only the person next to you believes in repeating the onscreen dialogues, along with a laughter track for effects. Gubbare.. Ha ha haha. Dinner.. Ha ha ha ha.

 

This movie is (in another douchebag’s style) a “3 on 5 for me, along with a thumbs up”. Go watch it, because it’s not a genre that is usually well made in India.

 

Note: Watch it only once. Which means, that you should watch it with wife/girl-friend/… Because in case they drag you in for a second time because you saw it with someone else (colleagues/boyfriend/…), you may experience serious self-loathing syndrome (at this stage, it’s just a hypothesis).

 

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Movie Review: Agneepath works… and quite well too

January 29, 2012 Leave a comment

The first 15 minutes of Agneepath set the pace of the movie. Right from the idyllic Mandwa, to masterji and viju’s relationship, to viju’s deep rooted anger, and the two key lesssons – Pehelwan, and Ageneepath. Things happen fast, and then Kancha enters the screen. Kancha is a villain of the Gabbar Singh era. When he walks in, there aren’t too many other people that you notice on the screen. He is huge to the point of being grotesque, evil, insane, and cunning. He would not stop at anything to get his way. Things happen, and Viju is now in Mumbai. Now comes Rauf Lala. Its difficult (for me) to imagine that the ultimate candy star who survived the eras of many superstars can be made to look so mean and gross. You hate him. You hate his character. And in the middle of all this, the biggest thumbs up goes to that little boy Vijay (Arush Bhiwandiwala) who beats the crap out of Hrithik Roshan’s Vijay Deenanath Chauhaan. The anger, resentment, fearlessness of younger vijay overshadows the sad and despondent anger of the older Vijay. That does not mean I have anything against Hrithik’ portrayal. This would probably be one of his best performances till date (I haven’t see Guzaarish). But, this was one place where Amitabh’s Vijay was difficult to carry off. Amitabh’s Vijay was angry. Hrithik’s Vijay is as angry as he is sad and melancholic.

Agneepath of 2012 had a lot of weight to carry on its shoulders. Much like that scene where Hrithik lifts the bulky humongous frame of Sanjay Dutt. I read somewhere that he “really” did lift Dutt while doing that scene. I saw yesterday that Agneepath 2012 did lift the weight of Agneepath 1991. Commendably so. I would be a prude if I were to intellectualize the whole experience and find flaws with this version. Bottomline was that while the movie was on, I really enjoyed it. Agree, it’s a little long drawn, but hey!

The movie has its share of flaws. Few more loopholes than the earlier one. The 1990 version was a very intense movie, which but for the couple of Mithun-Neelam moments was fairly charged. This movie makes the same mistake, in somewhat greater proportions. The Romance of Mithun-Neelam is replaced by the Hrithik-Priyanka romance and the birthday song was definitely avoidable. Also, based on what I’ve seen of Hrithik so far, he can pull of the torn/sad hero quite well, but he is not the “angry young man”. On hindsight, I can picture Ajay Devgan do a better job of that. One sequence where the entire audience holds its breath in the 90 version, is when Shiksha is abducted by Shetty and Vijay runs through the narrow lanes of Dharawi to get to Shetty. That scene, despite a far more powerful Rishi Kapoor this time, does not have the same intensity. And the end, dramatic as it was in the earlier version, is a lot more idiotic this time (and I don’t meant Sanjay Dutt on top of Hrithik, literally speaking true though)

However, it’s a movie worth watching. Excellent performances from the lead cast including Priyanka Chopra. Arush (younger Vijay) is absolutely top class. Dutt and Rishi Kapoor are exception. Hrithik is brilliant and Priyanka is just about right. Zareena Wahab, Om Puri, Kanika Tiwari (Shiksha, played by Neelam in 1990 version) are all well-cast. The editing is good except for a few places and the movie moves at a very engaging pace. Some of the sequences are beautifully shot (especially the Ganpati Visarjan shot and the scene where Sanjay Dutt is dragging Master Dinanath Chauhan). Music, except for a couple of unnecessary songs, does not hamper the pace of the movie. Background score is good.

End Note: Brilliant masala movie with a lot of entertainment and some absolutely brilliant performances. 4 on 5 for me. Watch it, I say. 

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Movie Review: Bodyguard

September 1, 2011 3 Comments

Oops! I did it again. Another Sallu movie. Another almost First Day First Show. Well, it was the second show. Yes. At Chandan. Yes, the movie left a few things to be desired. No. The Chandan Experience was perfect.

Before I say something about Bodyguard, let me remind you all that I absolutely enjoyed Dabangg and I did not enjoy Ready at all. So, if you’re one of the purists who cannot differentiate between Dabangg and Ready because apparently they both were trashy movies for you, stop right here. You should not watch Bodyguard. Having got that out of the way, let me also tell you that this movie is going to hit the 100Cr mark, for sure.

Salman’s intro shot in the movie is as interesting as it should or could be. The title song is a wacko with Salman winking and flexing his biceps as the key dance step, Katrina Kaif making a customary item song presence through the song. Immediately after, Salman gets into gravity defying stunts and action sequences which are so unreal that you cannot but fall in love with the dude. As greatbong pointed out in his Singham review, there are only two people who can pull that kind of stuff – dhai kilo ke haath wale sunny paaji, and maine ek baar commitment kar di to wale salman bhai.

Then, with almost a pitch perfect beginning, something seems to fall apart. Which is, that Siddique decides not to continue with the same over the top treatment of the movie. Rather, he decides to put in emotions, drama, college fun, etc. He decides that he will let Kareena (Divya) play a prank on the superstud bodyguard. She has a preachy friend by her side. Salman has been given a ridiculously fat Rajat Rawail as a comedian flunky. Why on earth do you need a comedian flunky if Salman is already there? His earnestness while doing the most ridiculous scenes makes up for all the comedy I ever need out of his movies. Remember the “tera hi jalwa” ringtone based fight sequence in Dabangg. Yeah. That one.

Kareena gets all emotional while Salman continues to carry the movie on his shoulders. Rajat Rawail kills the sense of humor of the movie with his weight and cheap humor, while Salman continues to carry the movie on his shoulders. Raj Babbar and Asrani ham the crap out of the movie, while Sallu carries the movies on his shoulders. And in between (before the interval) and towards the end, there are two more extremely endearing fight sequences. The kinds where one of the bad guys is kicked hard and while he is still in the air, two more bad guys are punched, only to allow Sallu some more time to crash kick the first guy again. Awesomeness! Aditya Panscholi does his friendly hamming. Mahesh Manjrekar too. All the usual masala. Couple of songs booted here and there, which are working, but are not in the league of Dabangg music (or usual Himesh Reshammiya music). Rahat Fateh Ali Khan is there. Mika too. Shreya Ghoshal too. All boxes ticked.

Towards the end, is where the surprise really lies. Usually, you expect a grand fight with Salman resulting in massive disaster for the bad guys. In this movie, that happens. And then some shit happens with Salman. I will not reveal the mega plot twist. But that mega plot twist itself makes the movie a massive torture in the last 10-15 minutes of the movie. See it to believe it.

Back to Chandan Experience – Movie was supposed to start at 12:30. Did not start till 12:50 or so. In those 20 minutes, there were die-hard fans trying to break the door open (to Chandan’s credit, the doors are quite durable), brought the large size movie hoardings of Bodyguard and Mere Brother ki Dulhan to ground before tearing them into pieces, whistled, cat-called, hooted, booed. And then the door received the loudest ever cheer for opening, that any door might have received ever. At that time, the end credits of the previous show were going on, but the enthusiastic crowd did not mind cheering Salman in the goofiness based end spoilers either. Every song, there was an “interactive” crowd that would take off their shirts, or start dancing in the isle. At the end, there were a bunch of 15 odd kids that climbed the screen area and decided to showcase their Sallu bhai dancing skills right there. Before the show, we also spotted a dude who’d come in Sallu bhai getup (shiny black coat with sunglasses and the whole drill from the Desi beats song), and was getting himself clicked in style in front of a Mahindra Xylo. Life, as they proverbially say, was good.

EndView – Not bad. Not great either. I’d prefer a Dabangg over this. The elitist reader base of this blog would most likely not like the movie. But then, who cares. The movie’s going to make another 100Cr+ for Bollywood. By the time Salman is done with another few such movies, including Dabangg 2, the debate about who’s the biggest “Star” would be settled. Aamir needs script. Shahrukh needs senti, dialogues, script, and a whole lot of marketing. Salman, though, needs only himself!

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