Shaz, Waz & Bhaz? Dunce Premier League

Harbhajan Singh has made some shocking revelations in his yet to be published autobiography, portions of which were leaked online, reportedly by himself. He has apparently been inspired by Rakhi Sawant who believes that Jejus favors those who claim their rights, lefts and centers, at the drop of a hat. Unconfirmed sources reveal that the Turbanator, whose last successful outing was a dance competition where having gone for a back breaking dance performance along with partner Mona of “Bhajji jaisa koi nahi”, lost interest in any kind of outings shortly after the show.

He developed a keen interest in innings though, a phenomenon which is hardly driven by the feedback he received for his dance performance after winning the show. The judges, the good looking duo of Waseem Akram (known for his in-swinging Yorkers) and Sushmita Sen (who has been a bollywood industry insider for a while), caught his fancy, though it was unclear till now who had a longer lasting impact on Bhajji. During the feedback, Bhajji apparently heardthe judges say that “broke dunce” was something actors like Hrithik excelled at, and could be a great asset for a Bollywood career, if he ever decided to pursue one. Drawing inspirations from the successful Bollywood careers of previous actors like Mazhar Khan, whose blockbuster role “naam abdul hai mera sab ki khabar rakhta hoon”, and Mohsin Khan (whose unforgettable performance in Saathi, featuring songs like “chahe meri jaan tu le le”, are stuff legends are made of), Bhajji decided to immediately check the dictionary meaning of broke dunce.

Having concluded that Waseem bhai was instead making a point about what he thought of Bhajji (dunce) and his financial status (broke, the reason he apparently decided to become a swinger rather than a spinster), a devastated bhajji took the vow that he will beat Waseem bhai at his own game – toe crushing yore curse. Though he never looked up the meaning of toe, industry insiders claim that they fully understand the part of Waseem bhai’s anatomy he was going to crush/curse. Too tired to be a Moin Khan shouting “shabaas waseem bhai, shabaas”, Bhajji took to black magic, especially visible in his black turbanating performances in international cricket being supremely superior to all other spinsters being tried by the Indian team. He finally earned his rightful place down the order and in the middle overs.

I'm a black magic woman!

Black Mamba!

Bhajji trying doosra

Bhajji has also seen black a few times, the signs of which could be seen in his symbolic conversations with Symonds in a match during the friendly Australia series.

Sign is king!

Lately, unconfirmed reports from media suggested that Bhajji having read the confederacy of dunces (he reveals in the leaked prints that he never actually read the book, he just heard that it’s an award winning book which talks about the force that intellectuall duncity can be), and getting spurred by the successful run of 3dunces, led by the karismatic/kareenatic Aamir, remarked that being a dunce is not a bad deal, as long as you are not broke. Since then, he has decided to consume a lot of MSD for keeping him high up the preferential ladder compared to noobs like Mishraji (the mixed one) and Ojhaji (mera black magic tumhare ojha-tantrik jhaad phoonk se better hai). Some crack indeed. These addictions have also revealed why Waseem bhai’s comments hurt Bhajji so much.

After Shaz, why not Bhaz, is a question, he reportedly asks in his book. “Bhazzi & Wazzi on the beach” could have become the greatest love story since “Ajab Prem Ki Ghajab Kahani”! I think that Wazn’t meant to be!

IPL – Hi PL- High PL

Everyone’s writing about IPL. Any blogger worth his sitemeter writes something about Bhaaji.. oops Bhajji on the beach, Cheergirls and short pants, Imported vs. Local talent, death of cricket and the emergence of shorts (short form of cricket, that is), etc etc etc.

Its my turn now. And rant, I will!

IPL’s biggest benefit – Slapgate would have shot the TRPs as much as K..k.k.k.Khan’s histrionics. If Mohali’s performance was not setting the stage on fire, probably Lalit Modi’s disappointment at not being hugged tightly by Preity Zinta was. While Katrina Kaif is cheering the royal losers/challengers, Akshay Khanna Kumar is showing his daredevilry elsewhere. Net net, the TRPs have been high. So much so that King Khan’s struggling to balance Fifth Graders (Paanchvi Pass) with Night Fallers/Riders.The initial questions about the IPL investments being worthwhile and the revenue being limited are surely out of the window now..

Biggest beneficiaries of IPL – Everyone wrote about the big money that a lot of good for nothing cricketers earned because of IPL. However, very few wrote about the opportunity it has created for youngsters in India, who would have tried to make a carrier out of the otherwise mediocre Indian Domestic Cricket. I hope everyone’s watching youngsters like Ravindra Jadeja (19 Years, Jaipur), Shikhar Dhawan (22 Years, Delhi), Abhishek Nayar (24 Years, Mumbai), Gony (24 Years, Chennai), Dinda (24 Years, Kolkata). Given a chance to play alongside the best that cricketing world has to offer, even if its in an unconventional format, these young guns are trying to elevate their game to the next level. At the end of the first couple of weeks, while there are some exemplary knocks from the established biggies like Hayden, Gilly, Sehwag, there are some equally significant performances from some youngsters as well.

Side benefits – Barring what Sreesanth did to Bhajji (with Bhajji doing Sreesanth in return and paying the price for it), this is a perfect platform for cricketers from different nations to be a little more amicable to each other. I have monkey’s idea of what was happening on the ground, but the feeling I had was that these two are not just from different countries, but probably from a different planet! When you share the dressing room, you share a lot of common jokes too. And it helps ease the tension when international sides play


Also, there is a lot of competitive information that suddenly starts flowing hither wither. Imagine a Kallis sharing the fine points of Dada’s batting weakness (based on what he might have heard in strategy discussions with Dravid) during a south African team meeting! Nice!!

Yummm.. I’m loving it!

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