Theatre Review: Celebrating Gulzar’s Works:

February 22, 2010 5 Comments

Between last Thursday and Sunday, Prithvi Theatre was showcasing Essay Communication’s work, which is a set of collage woven around Gulzar’s works – Kharashein capturing communal riots and relationships around partition, Lakeerein capturing border/LoC stories, Atthaniyan capturing Mumbai snippets, and (apparently) Kacche Lamhe capturing man-woman relationships. The high point of the week, however, was the poetry reading session by Gulzar Sahab on Sunday morning.

My first distinct memory of Gulzar’s voice is an HMV tape “Fursat ke raat din” (not the two cassette/CD version which came later,  but the older single cassette version). I’ve always been a great fan of his nazms and poems ever since –

“तन्हाई खला नही होती, इसलिये खाली भी नही होती”

“tanhaaI khalaa nahI hotI, isaliye khaalI bhI nahI hotI”
<Solitude is not a bother, and hence, never empty>

“ईक रोज़ ज़िन्दगी ने हंस के कहा.. मुझ से यूं रूठा ना करो.. मैं तुम्हारि जुड्वा हूं”

“Ik roz zindagI ne haMs ke kahaa.. mujh se yUM rooThaa naa karo.. maiM tumhaari juDwaa hooM”
<Life once said to me.. don’t be so mad at me. I am your twin, after all>

In the 2 casette collection – Pancham- Gulzar Remembers RD Burman, Gulzar said –

“मैं क्या बताऊं कि ईक बेहता दरिया हूं… जब आ रहा था, तब जा रहा था”

“maiM kyaa bataaooM ki Ik behataa dariyaa hooM… jab aa rahaa thaa, tab jaa rahaa thaa”
<How do I tell you that I am a river, flowing in its stride… While I was coming hither, I was leaving too>

“तुम्हारे गम की दली उठा कर, जुबां पे रख ली है देखो मैने… वो कतरा कतरा पिघल रही है, मैं कतरा कतरा ही जी रहा हूं”

“tumhaare gam kI dalI uThaa kar, jubaaM pe rakh lI hai dekho maine… wo kataraa kataraa pighal rahI hai, maiM kataraa kataraa hI jI rahaa hooM”

<A lump of your pain, I’ve put on my tongue… it melts with every moment.. and I live with every moment>

And yesterday, he said,

“फिर किसी दर्द को सहला के सूजा लें आंखें, फिर किसी दुख्ती हुई रग से छुआ लें नश्तर”,

“आ के देख जाओ इक बार ज़रा, उस शाख पे एक फूल खिला है”

Anyways, coming back to the productions that I saw. I missed out on Kachche Lamhe. But saw, the other three.

Kharashein – was, sans the brilliant acting by Yashpal Sharma, Atul Kulkarni and Kishore Kadam, average fare. It is difficult to elevate yourself to the level of Gulzar’s poetry, and weave a narration that links them all together. Even more difficult is to portray the essence of those poems. And even more difficult it becomes, if you are obsessed with giving your incompetent relatives an important part in the narration. Salim Arif (Director) has a misplaced confidence in Lubna Salim (who happens to be the producer of the show as well). She, in a very harsh voice completely unbecoming of the curves and nuances of Urdu language, and with a deliberate desire to brutally murder the spirit of the poems, picks plum roles for herself. In certain acts, she even wants to be the narrator, taking on a responsibility which is so very dependent on understanding what is to be said, and then having the right voice modulation and expression to convey it. Alas, she has neither. That being said, the overall product was definitely watchable once. The three main guys were absolutely brilliant.

Lakeerein – I have already complained about Salim’s obsession with Lubna, OR, Lubna’s obsession with herself. Next, lets add a random lady (Seema Sehgal) who’d be walking in and out of the stage trying to give notes to the poetry, and in many cases, forgetting that poetry is more about expression, and less about aalaap. In between acts, a lady walking on to the stage with a full aalaap (which on many occasions, was not even in sur) is a huge distraction. And she seemed more inclined to prove her shastriya sangeet skills, then doing justice to the poetry. Add to that, a sub-standard starcast (today, the load was being carried by Yashpal alone), and you have a really really bad narration. A friend of mine, for whom I had booked tickets for the subsequent show of Atthaniyaan as well, refused to watch the other acts after seeing this one. That bad, yes. No more comments.

Atthaniyaan – Please take Lubna Salim out of the acting side of this troupe. Please add someone half as good as Yashpal, and you would have had a watchable play. Please work on the diction of the actors. Those who do not even understand what they are mouthing, and cannot feel the pain, the joy, the agony, the frustrations of the characters they are portraying, and the language they are using, can NEVER do justice to the character. You don’t need to become a method actor, but a certain level of understanding is expected. The narration/play had at least 5 people consuming limited stage space, who were not used for anything specific, but to sing in Chorus all the time. They even had a dimwit recite an English translation of a Gulzar poem, with a perfect deadpan expression. She wouldn’t have a standard four elocution competition, and you are putting her in front of 250 odd people in a play??? And why the translation, when you have an audience which is expecting to hear the original. And when the legend is sitting as part of the audience. Why?

So, the plays, in general, did not work for me. I would not recommend them to anyone.

This brings me to the last part. The part that worked – the poetry reading session with Gulzar Sahab. The first session was a Q&A with Bhawna Somaya, who is a pretty well known journalist herself. During the conversation, it seemed like  she wasn’t really prepared with a lot of research/questions on what to ask and expect. Javed Siddiqui, who was also on stage, and Gulzar took quite a trip on Mrs. Somaya.  It was fun, the conversation, that is. The audience got its chance to ask questions, and barring a couple, the average intelligence of the masses being below average was proved again, beyond doubt.

However, the moment, Gulzar Sahab took to the podium to recite some of his Nazms and Trivenis, it was like watching a sunset on bandstand. People found their corners in the rocky beaches of understanding, and settled down to let the beauty unfold. The imagery was perfect, the rendition flawless and the voice magical. If someone wants to learn what diction should be like, they should listen to Gulzar. The right weight, the right modulation, the exact emphasis, the perfect volume – there is absolutely nothing that he misses. Just listening to him talk is a tutorial by itself. The same poems that were massacred by Lubna Salim and co, were brought back to life by Gulzar. Such beauty.. In that one hour, there was no-one else, and nothing more important. If I had to imitate his style of poetry, I would say something like –

जाने कैसी बात थी
जब तुम्हारे लफ़्ज़ों ने मेरी आंखों पर
सफ़ेद इक पट्टी बांध के
आहिस्ता से मेरे कानों में कहा

ज़रा ठहरो, अभी शाम बाकी है…

गुलज़ार सहिब, हम एक बार फिर आप के कायल हो गये!

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Short True(?) Story FW: Worth Reading!

February 18, 2010 1 Comment

Absolutely worth reading once. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. It takes very little to make someone happy… and sometime, that’s worth more than a million achievements.

Subject: FW: Worth Reading!

A True Story……worth spending few minutes to read……

"My wife called, ‘How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?

I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter, Sindu, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.

I cleared my throat and picked up the bowl. ‘Sindu, darling, why don’t you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad’s sake, dear’.

Sindu softened a bit and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. ‘Ok, Dad. I will eat – not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should…’ Sindu hesitated. ‘Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?’

‘Promise’. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal. Now I became a bit anxious. ‘Sindu, dear, you shouldn’t insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. Ok?’

‘No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive’. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested.

After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her.
‘Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!’ was her demand.
‘Atrocious!’ shouted my wife, ‘A girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!’
‘Never in our family!’ My mother rasped.. ‘She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!’

‘Sindu, darling, why don’t you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.’

‘Please, Sindu, why don’t you try to understand our feelings?’ I tried to plead with her.

‘Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice’. Sindu was in tears. ‘And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?’

It was time for me to call the shots. ‘Our promise must be kept.’

‘Are you out of your mind?’ chorused my mother and wife.

‘No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honor her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.’

With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, ‘Sinduja, please wait for me!’ What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. ‘May be, that is the in-stuff’, I thought.

‘Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!’ Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued, ‘that boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from… leukemia’. She paused to muffle her sobs. ‘Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son! Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.’

I stood transfixed and then, I wept. ‘My little Angel, you are teaching me how selfless real love is!"

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What I liked about Ishqiya: Not as much a movie review

February 3, 2010 Leave a comment

I watched Ishqiya last night, comfortable sprawled in the king sofa sets of Maxus, Sakinaka. I loved the movie immensely.
We (most movie bloggers) often like the movie first, and intellectualize our emotions later. Many a times, in the process of intellectualizing the emotion, we kill the real emotion. Mind over heart, as they say. That being said, there are a lot of things that clicked with me for this movie, and hence I will talk only about the most important things (for me). Acting, Music, and Dialogues are the more obvious positives. Characters and their portrayal is the less obvious one. The fact that I do not credit the story as much is the other less obvious thing.
Characters / Portrayal- The reason I am separating it from acting is because it’s a director/story-teller’s vision, that the actors convincingly or unconvincingly portrays on the screen, and that’s where debutant director Abhishek scores a maiden ton. Extremely human in their thinking and mannerisms, Arshad Warsi (Babban), Vidya Balan (Krishna) and Naseeruddin Shah (Iftikhar/Khalu jaan) are exceptional in the movie. And for once, I think Arshad and Vidya come across a notch better than Naseer, which by itself should be to the director’s credit.
Khalu’s body language when he is trying to steal a car, or during the song “dil to bachcha hai”, or when he is acting coy with Krishna telling her about Jayadev being the music director of the song she is singing, are all of the same man, and the same small time thief who is on his toes that he will get caught any minute. His anger at seeing Babban and Krishna together, completely over-ruling the thought that he himself had the same desires, given a chance, and subsequently hurting his best friend with the most heart wrenching comments in that anger – these are all extremely human scenarios, enacted perfectly by Naseer. But by now, I expect that from Naseer.
Babban, on the other hand, is the standard roadside goon that we all must have seen so many of in real life. Especially those who have spent some time in the central belt of India. The mannerisms, open shirt button, unshaved stubbled look, the walk with a forced air of rudeness, the “rolling over words” language are all so typical. Babban’s language is far more bhopali, and he has pulled it off with consummate ease. “Tumhara pyaar pyaar, aur humara pyaar sex” might be a dialogue that many people will quote in their respective gali mohallas. Almost every scene where Arshad is present, he takes the center stage.
The pick of the lot for me is Krishna’s character. Extremely manipulative, flirtatious with her husband, refined with Khalu, and in your face with Babban, her transition from one league to another is seamless. What is extremely impressive is that in that one intimate moment with Babban, Krishna comes across as someone who wants to keep the “sulphate” at bay, but her carnal desires being unmet for ages, she gives in to the emotion. And in that one moment, her carnal desires take over her plan of keeping both the men at bay. It comes across as a moment that she was not planning for, and my reading is that it was exactly that, more than a mere manipulation. Also, the scene where she realizes that beyond manipulations, the two men actually do love here, there is an expression on her face that should not be missed. It’s a beautiful transition, the way a cloud passes over your expressions every once in a while, when you hear an uncomfortable truth. I have believed Vidya Balan to be a good actress, but never realized she has come so far. Especially after Hey Babyy, my confidence had gone low. After Paa and Ishqiya, however, I think she should groom herself to be the next Smita Patil/Shabana Azmi cadre actress.

The other aspect that really stood out for me was the music, and by that I don’t mean just the 4 key songs from Vishal and Gulzar. Even the occasional picks in the movie like “kuch dil ne kaha… kuch bhi nahi” are amazingly well placed. The music arrangement for Ab mujhe koi intezaar nahi and Badi dheere jali are exquisite. Put them on your iPod and close your eyes, you are sure to transcend to another world of yearning. Even though Dil to bachcha hai and Ibn-e-batuta are the running favorites, my loyalty is shifting to “badi dheere jali raina, dhuan dhuan naina”.

Unlike pure blooded critics, I will not want to quote flaws “as well”, because overall, the movie worked for me. Those 2 hours were a breeze, and I came out satisfied.

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Why r Indians Re-born ? GOOD ONE !!!

February 2, 2010 Leave a comment

Quite funny (Via Deepti)

this is really funny

Why only Indians are re-born ?

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said ‘I have to talk to you. We have some Indians here in heaven and they are causing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMWs instead of the chariots, and they’re selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairways to Heaven clear, since they keep reaching down midway eating samosas and
drinking chai. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!’

The Lord said, ‘Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems,give Satan a call.’

Satan answered the phone, ‘Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.’ Satan returned to the phone, ‘OK I’m
back. What can I do for you?’

Gabriel replied, ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having there.’

Satan says, ‘Hold on again. I need to check on something.’
After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and says,’I’m back. Now, what was the question?’

Gabriel said, ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’

Satan says, ‘Man, I don’t believe this! Hold on.’

This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, "I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now… These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire. Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone connection between heaven and hell…I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! Some were trying to start a chai – pakora shop, which I had to stop…

As a clincher, Satan then said, "I am requesting the Lord to send them back to earth as soon as they arrive as re-birth cases".They are really difficult to handle.

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Shaz, Waz & Bhaz? Dunce Premier League

February 1, 2010 3 Comments

Harbhajan Singh has made some shocking revelations in his yet to be published autobiography, portions of which were leaked online, reportedly by himself. He has apparently been inspired by Rakhi Sawant who believes that Jejus favors those who claim their rights, lefts and centers, at the drop of a hat. Unconfirmed sources reveal that the Turbanator, whose last successful outing was a dance competition where having gone for a back breaking dance performance along with partner Mona of “Bhajji jaisa koi nahi”, lost interest in any kind of outings shortly after the show.

He developed a keen interest in innings though, a phenomenon which is hardly driven by the feedback he received for his dance performance after winning the show. The judges, the good looking duo of Waseem Akram (known for his in-swinging Yorkers) and Sushmita Sen (who has been a bollywood industry insider for a while), caught his fancy, though it was unclear till now who had a longer lasting impact on Bhajji. During the feedback, Bhajji apparently heardthe judges say that “broke dunce” was something actors like Hrithik excelled at, and could be a great asset for a Bollywood career, if he ever decided to pursue one. Drawing inspirations from the successful Bollywood careers of previous actors like Mazhar Khan, whose blockbuster role “naam abdul hai mera sab ki khabar rakhta hoon”, and Mohsin Khan (whose unforgettable performance in Saathi, featuring songs like “chahe meri jaan tu le le”, are stuff legends are made of), Bhajji decided to immediately check the dictionary meaning of broke dunce.

Having concluded that Waseem bhai was instead making a point about what he thought of Bhajji (dunce) and his financial status (broke, the reason he apparently decided to become a swinger rather than a spinster), a devastated bhajji took the vow that he will beat Waseem bhai at his own game – toe crushing yore curse. Though he never looked up the meaning of toe, industry insiders claim that they fully understand the part of Waseem bhai’s anatomy he was going to crush/curse. Too tired to be a Moin Khan shouting “shabaas waseem bhai, shabaas”, Bhajji took to black magic, especially visible in his black turbanating performances in international cricket being supremely superior to all other spinsters being tried by the Indian team. He finally earned his rightful place down the order and in the middle overs.

I'm a black magic woman!

Black Mamba!

Bhajji trying doosra

Bhajji has also seen black a few times, the signs of which could be seen in his symbolic conversations with Symonds in a match during the friendly Australia series.

Sign is king!

Lately, unconfirmed reports from media suggested that Bhajji having read the confederacy of dunces (he reveals in the leaked prints that he never actually read the book, he just heard that it’s an award winning book which talks about the force that intellectuall duncity can be), and getting spurred by the successful run of 3dunces, led by the karismatic/kareenatic Aamir, remarked that being a dunce is not a bad deal, as long as you are not broke. Since then, he has decided to consume a lot of MSD for keeping him high up the preferential ladder compared to noobs like Mishraji (the mixed one) and Ojhaji (mera black magic tumhare ojha-tantrik jhaad phoonk se better hai). Some crack indeed. These addictions have also revealed why Waseem bhai’s comments hurt Bhajji so much.

After Shaz, why not Bhaz, is a question, he reportedly asks in his book. “Bhazzi & Wazzi on the beach” could have become the greatest love story since “Ajab Prem Ki Ghajab Kahani”! I think that Wazn’t meant to be!

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