Can you turn back time?

Can you turn back time?

It’s been four years.

Four long years…

I’ve missed you.

Every day.

Every success,

every failure.

Every happiness,

every tear.

But I cannot turn back time

To give you more of mine.

I cannot come back home

To sit next to you

And not say anything,

And know

That you know.

That somehow you do.

You always did.

If I could turn back time

I would take one more vacation.

One more summer eating mangoes,

One more winter covered in warm quilts.

One more evening getting scolded,

One more morning being loved,

Laughing about the loader’s son,

And having good food

Cooked by mom.

Did you like anyone else’s cooking?

Ever?

I somehow don’t.

Mom’s special…

She gets by

Sometimes alone

I am not the good child. I never was.

And still am not…

She tries to turn time back

Over and over again.

For us,

For you,

For what you left behind.

Sometimes,

Google tries.

It turns back time.

With photos and videos,

that bring you to me.

And makes me happy

and sad

all in the same moment.

It showed me a photograph today

Of us

From four years back.

A big happy family.

Waiting for the worst to happen.

Smiling

With you,

For you.

Hoping for miracles

When there were none.

Wishing to turn back time.

Could not do it then,

Cannot do it now.