The Murder of David by JayantaBhai Ki Luv Story. Part 1

Yep. All three. Not on the same day. But pending reviews. No? Not interested? Damn you!

This post is about Murder. The Third One. David and JKLS follow shortly.

Murder 3, as you might know is adapted from a novel, which is sold in some non-descript areas of the city as “how to get laid by ogling at a girl and asking inane questions”. The sequel to this book, which is similar to the original book, goes by the name “how dumb should you be to fall for a really dumb creep”.

Tera mujhse hai pehle ka naata koi

Here’s the movie for you. Chick leaves message that she is leaving the dude. Pause. Flashback. Chick is a successful architect in South Africa. Dude is a bumming photographer who gets the chick to pose with panthers and leopards. Dude gets an assignment to move back to India. Chick dumps her job and everything else, and comes back to India with him (after all, India is the land of opportunities). Fast forward. Dude is a hotshot. Dude buys a mansion in the outskirts of Mumbai! (Might as well have been a futures trader, this chick).

Switch. Current. Dude is devastated. And drunk. At a bar. Enter Chick2. Chick2 mouths profound inanities (which shortens to profanities) – iski aankhon mein ajeeb si udaasi hai kinds (can’t you see true louu is happening). Dude gets into a bar fight. Chick rescues.  Chick drives him around town. And finally takes him to her home. Where else she could have taken her, she asks. Thankfully, she doesn’t dress him up with her innerwears. After all, what else could she have changed him into. Come morning, the cuts and bruises and the dude decide to leave.Quite abruptly. Thankless job, this bringing people home.

Dude decides to act nice next evening. And keeps ogling at Chick while she serves others with a smile. Chick relents. They make spaghetti together. Eat from the same bowl. Together. And bam. Time to get some action. Together.  And no, this movie is not Jism3. Its Murder3.

Kahin deep jale kahin dil

Enter creepiness. Sounds from the washroom. More action. Shower turning hot and cold. More action. Dead body found. More action. And then, the announcement of the old chick – you b**** from inside the bathroom mirror. Woah!  Interval. Heady? No?

Repeat the entire sequence again. Additional footage. Chick has but one confidante, the seller of the house, a lady who speaks firangi hindi and tells chick about the secret bunker in the house. Chick decides to measure Dude’s true louu by hiding in the bunker. Alas, chick leaves the key outside, and is locked inside with pre-1947 era food, no water, and lots of guilt. But then, gets front row seat  to all the slam-bam action going on in the bedroom. Chick thinks Chick2 is dumb, even though she is the one locked in, while Chick2 is getting all the action.

Here comes the twist. Chick2 realizes that Chick1 is alive. What does she do? I won’t tell you. Suspense.

Somewhere in the middle of all this is a Dude2 – an inispector with a permanent hard on for Chick2. Chick2 doesn’t dig Dude2. Dude2 decides to bring down Dude. But he is an inispector. Do not forget. And Dude2 also has a boss who’s only contribution, I’d like to tell you – agar aapko kasht na ho to!

With a decent premise, officially copied from a Columbian movie (but with the explicit scenes deflated), Murder3 murders your sensibility with a giant swipe usually reserved for Fruit Ninja on Micromax tablets.  The twist in the tale is actually interesting, except that the tail seldom wageth the dog. Randeep Hooda is not as bad as he was while screaming Izznnnaaaaahhhhh in Jism2. But then, he is not as creepy as Prashant or as harmless as Emraan Hashmi. Aditi Rao is hot, but unfortunately for the audience, Sara Loren gets more action than her, while Aditi looks creepier and creepier. One gets a feeling that she was more comfortable with Arunodaya Singh in Yeh Saali Zindagi than she was with Mr. Hooda. Given HUDA’s reputation, one cannot really blame her either. Ms. Loren tries to give an enigmatic performance, and succeeds. All her expressions remain an enigma for the audience.

One small problem – the music is not as catchy as it has been with the Vishesh Films banner.

But then, things could have been worse. This could have been Jism3. So, I’d go with a 1 on 5.

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