You, my friend, are a rapist

The rape did not happen that day.

Some of you may remember this. The males especially. Remember that party where this girl from the office was wearing that dress. And was looking really sexy. And you kept leering at her. No, you were not appreciating her. You were undressing her. And violating her. B50 thinks that rape is a very strong word that should not be used frivolously. And I don’t think I am using it frivolously when I say that you almost raped her that night. You took away her right to wear the dress she wanted to, and still be respected for who she was. And that girl who decided to pick a glass of rum or whiskey in the first office or college party. She must be promiscuous, you thought. And remember that girl who had two different boy friends. She can be a party favor, you wondered. Be at the right place at the right time, you planned. And remember the pass you made at that girl once you were too drunk. Maybe in a hope that being drunk allows you to say sorry later in case it she doesn’t like it.

Oh. And I forget.

You are from the elite group. The IITs/NITs/IIMs/etc. Educated, but by your own admission, not quite used to the company of women. Because you are prone to making funny jokes like – IITs don’t have females. They only have males and non-males. Your father, hopefully, did not tell you to be like that. Nor your mother told you that women are objects. You read about Sarojini Naidu and Florence of Nightingale in your school books. And the Ranis of several Jhansis. And that girl in the first bench who always wanted to be ranked first. That bloody maggu, yeah? Your teachers did not tell you this. Most likely. Yet you turned out this way.

So, what stopped you from becoming a rapist? Some kind of moral code? Fear of being caught and put behind bars? Fear of being ostracized  in case people get to know? Fear of being kicked in the nuts by the girl, or being pepper sprayed in your face? The fear of all your “other dreams” coming to an end for the sake of this one wanton fantasy? The fact that all these years, you’ve been fed by the parents, the teachers and the society around you that it’s wrong? But then, illegal downloads are wrong, and so is making lewd comments about someone behind their back.

Take the some total of all those things that stopped you from crossing the line. Somewhere, in there, lies the answer. Because it will take too long for you idiots to learn to respect women.

I wonder who it was who wrote – “jatra naryastu pujyante, tatra vasate devaah” (जत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यंते , तत्र वसते देवाः). My country is in the pits of hell. And you, my friend, are a rapist. Because you rape when you get a chance. And you tolerate when someone gets raped.

About Amit
Conventional, boring, believer, poet, Shayar (to be precise), lover of music, musical instruments, and all that can be called music (theoretically or metaphorically), jack of all master of none, more of a reader less of a writer, arbit philosopher, foolish debater.. and many more such things.. like so many people!

11 Responses to You, my friend, are a rapist

  1. AJ says:

    Don’t agree with the article for most part. Sexual attraction to opposite sex is nothing wrong. What is wrong is to intrude someone’s personal space. It’s not like woman don’t want to attract men. It’s not like women don’t ever do things to lure men. Which guy hasn’t had a girl initiating flirting and intimacy with him? That’s all in their personal spaces. What I am saying is that let’s not dilute the matter of sexual assaults to include just about anything. That’s frivolous. You can’t keep broadening the scope and equate every random thing to rape. Next what? Marital infidelity is rape? Probably asking a girl out is also rape? Hold your horses.


  2. hypnoticfish says:

    illegal downloads are not wrong.
    rape is.


  3. Anonymous says:

    now what’s wrong with fantasizing about someone in a mini skirt? rape is coerced sex, the fantasy isn’t.


  4. Aparna says:

    Your post gave me the chills… soo very honest and from a guy.. I am touched… may your tribe grow.


  5. prats35 says:

    So heartening an touched. You are so right. These thoughts start early and festers. Only wish it could get cut off before it arises. Lovely post


  6. meeraahji says:

    You are right my friend. We’ve all lived through the leers and the snide sexist remarks and do NOT wish to live through an iron rod as well. I hope this time the Govt. wakes up and agrees to hang these men by their balls till they die.

    Meanwhile, in our own small way, lets bring up our kids to respect women first and study later.



  7. uma says:

    very strong feelings put down aptly..
    I am numbed by the events too..really don’t know what to say, what to feel, even 😦
    The line between rapists and non-rapists seems to be thinning. Very fast.


  8. sirisha says:

    I decided yesterday to be cheerful and live the moment and enjoy. Because its this moment that I have with me and the next I might be the one having my intestines pulled out. I am not physically strong and cannot fight a group of men if anything happens. So in 21st Century, with a PG and 8 years IT experience, I still declare I am weak and helpless! I tried to picture various scenarios and come out stronger! But none worked out. I cant be strong against non-humans. So I live the moment. I enjoy the security I get as I sit in my house because I am in an hour going to step out.
    Sorry, I read your post and all the above came out. I will again bury this feelings and go be merry this holiday!


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