Mumbai.. the story isn’t over yet.. is it?

Having been fed news for what feels like an eternity, I am, I must say, numb.   Several people have checked on me. Several people I have checked on. Several people feel the anguish and want to do something. Nobody knows what to do. There are lots of opinions and great analysis in the air. Still higher is the amount of cynicism around whether the government and our security apparatus will wake up to this. I have my own share of views and opinions about what will work and what will not. But while thinking about all this, I realized one thing. I DON’T HAVE A SOLUTION. I can opine. Like Amit Varma, GreatBong, Arzan, NehaVish, gauravonomics, Prem, and so many others who are showing emotions  ranging from wisdom, anger, anguish, fear, dejection, sadness, fear, disillusionment, cynicism, hopelessness, pathos, terror, rage, hatred, … and I run out of adjectives that describe the dark side of humanity. They are all talking about this. Zigzackly was seen trying to help. Gaurav has been talking about the impact of social media in real time journalism. Talking about flaws, faults, faulty parties, how it hurts, how something needs to be done. Some people were ripping apart Farooque Shaikh, Rahul Bose, et al for their retarded opinions. And in the process giving their own opinion. Why do we think our rage is more rational than someone else’s? Why is it that we have the liberty to blabber, when those don’t? Will this opining make a difference? Being a commoner, stuck inside my apartment/office, typing furiously at a keyboard, mobilizing public opinion, voicing my dissent and concern, are any of these going to make even a mole of a difference? 150+ people have died. Will my opining bring even one of them back? Will my thinking of tomorrow with a lot of cynicism help? I doubt so. Will my participating in a rally, or lighting candles on ibnlive help? Will my sitting silent, and not doing any of this help?

I have already joined a few “condemn the attacks”, salute the brave, mumbai’s spirit kinda groups on facebook. I saw the protest rally at Nariman Point yesterday. I am already expressing solidarity to the causes. And I don’t feel confident that if this happens again tomorrow, our system will be ready to handle this. I am looking for someone who can tell me that there is a solution. A solution that does not ask me go infiltrate another nation, kill 10 terrorists and 50 innocents there. A solution that does not remind me how intelligence has failed. Especially not when it comes from people who don’t even understand what intelligence is, and how its carried out. A solution that does not tell me that there are better and sophisticated ways of conducting rescue operations, straight from Hollywood movies. Not unless someone tells me how. And has the balls to take the bullet should something go wrong. All this coffee table solution finding, derived from individual incompetence makes me sick now. In my company, we call it Partner talk. The big guys come in, say something without ever thinking how it will be done, and expect a deliverable as quickly as possible. What I need is a method that trains me, and several others to handle such crisis. Because, if we don’t know how, then we are the ones who die. I am fine if there are no heroes out of such incidents, because they took a bullet on, died saving someone else. I, for sure, don’t want this helplessness. The moment it happens, my bosses send out a mail saying that we should work from home till the situation improves. And I comfortably sit in the drawing room devouring as much news as possible, and opining. And nothing happens after that. The last time it happened in Delhi, my sister-in-law, and my wife had gone to Chandni Chowk. I remember how frantically me, bhaiya, Dad, Mom wanted to figure out where they are, and how we can get them back home. Despite the fact that the focal point of the attacks was away from where they were, we did not have any amount of faith on what may happen next. This time, I was frantically looking for friends, and acquaintances. In my 2^nd/3^rd degree of separation, the count of dead is 5 now. I was personally luckier in Delhi blasts. And the blasts before that. And I have always comforted myself.   And here I am, thinking about what I can do tomorrow, and the day after to make sure that next time this happens, I am prepared for it. Mentally, physically, financially, emotionally. 

… (to be continued)