Day 6: Kozhikode – Mangalore

December 11, 2012 3 Comments

Some people don’t learn their lessons. I am one of them. At least, in this moment of divine introspection, I am ready to admit this. And if you value your life, you’re not supposed to remind me that I accepted this. At any point here onwards.

So, today, we drove ~240kms. We started at 11:00. And we parked at 7:30. On the way, we took a small detour to see Kappad beach (Kozhikode itself), and then Bekal Fort. Yes. That’s the story in short. In detail, its a lot of things!

Our maths was precise. 240kms. 4 hours of drive on the better Kerala Highways. Or, maybe 5. One hour of Bekal Fort stopover maybe. We were a little tired, and wanted to take it easy. We had a decent breakfast at the hotel, and got sufficient sleep before starting off this time. So, no 5AM hurries, and no continuous planning. The only thing we had done was we had identified a hotel at Mangalore (The Saffron) and another at Udupi (Sai Vishram or Janardhana) as potential overnight targets. You see – Uncleji at the homestay had warned us that in Kerala, we should stick to nicer hotels even if we have to pay more. You should not trust these cheap hotels. Lots of funny business, he said. We got the drift.

We had planned to take this day as a light one. Little driving, and lots of sightseeing, driving by the coast, and all the good things that come to your mind when you’re close to the ocean.

At 11, we set off. At 12, we were crossing Kappad beach. At 1, we crossed Vadakara, and at about 2 we crossed Kannur. There are a few things you need to know if you’re ever going to do this route.

  • It is actually beautiful. In patches. It’s full of greens, groves and shades almost all through. There are several instances of you crossing a “backwater”-ish formation and most of them are beautiful because they’re generally untouched.
  • It is called a highway. Mumbai people can akin it to Jarimari road that connects Sakinaka to BKC, or a slightly better version of chapel road/hill road connect in Bandra (during evenings). For those who are not familiar with these stretches, you can compare it to the sound that comes when you are grating a tiny piece of aluminium against the wall. That screeching sound. Yes. That bad. The road is well laid, but for a highway, it spends most of its time inside villages. The concept of a by-pass does not exist. And since we are all such nice people, the road next to our house or shop can be used for the following activities (in no particular order) – parking my vehicle (in no particularly ordered or civil manner, and my vehicle can be a fully loaded truck too), getting together with 5 people and chatting, holding hands of another person of the same gender while walking, shitting and spitting, asking my cow to wait for me, generally running across the street, yogasana (esp the variety which involves outstretched hands). I am sure I am missing at least a dozen more things I had on my list.
  • It’s a two lane highway with no dividers. So, at any point, the probability of someone trying to take you head on or run you over is 0.5.
  • While the beach is probably less than 300 meters away from you, you rarely get a glimpse. Because the alleys that take you to the beach also have a huge density of houses. It is definitely not our answer to Highway 1 of US.
  • The bus drivers of Kerala are as bad or worse than the BEST or DTC/Blue line guys. You’re better not taking them on.

I am being too cynical here. If you have the time, then idle away and drive at an average of ~30kmph on this highway (NH66 also known as NH17) and enjoy what the God’s own country has to offer. There are several small places right throughout the drive – Thalassery, Mahe, Kannur, Payannur, NIleswaram, Kanhangad, Palikere, Bekal, Kasaragod, etc. that you can take small detours at. Lots of temples. Lots of beaches. The urge to compare one beach to another dies after you realize that you’ve been comparing twins and then quadruplets and then whatever the right term  for two identical siblings might be. It’s a beautiful countryside. Take your time to explore. If you love to see the temples, well – this could be a great trip. If you want to do beach hopping, well you could do that.

Moving on, through the driving ordeal, we reached Bekal, eventually, at 3:30 or so and had lunch at Nirvana. Nirvana is a property right next to the fort. Our GPS screwed us (once again) in trying to locate Vivanta by Taj. Also, we were a little frustrated with the driving part and Bekal seemed like a beautiful place, so we did consider taking a luxury break here. But as GPS would have it, we didn’t. Anyway, the lunch we had at Nirvana was a disaster. And we quickly moved on to the fort which is mesmerising, to say the least. As you explore the various arches and the expanse of the fort, you can’t but admire the beauty and the magnificence of it. It’s not magnificent in the Lal Qila way, but the ocean in the background, and the white sand uncrowded beach gives it a texture that is unbelievable. Its clean and well maintained, and some more weeding out work is going on right now. We marked Bekal as another place where we may want to come and spend a weekend in peace at some later time.

At 4:45 or so, we moved onwards. As we were getting to Mangalore, we debated whether we wanted to go forward till Udupi. Eventually, with the high beam driving along the two-lane highway and the quality of roads deteriorating as you enter Karnataka, the decision was made in favor of staying overnight at Mangalore.  The drive on this road is exhausting. Overtaking is a balance of skill, timing, patience and speed. And one of the worst things that can happen to you is when a truck driving at 11.5kmph feels like overtaking another truck driving at 11.45kmph. Which happens quite often here.

Tomorrow’s plan – Udupi, Maruvanthe, Murudeshwara, Gokarna.

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Day 5: Nagarhole/Kutta – Kozhikode

December 10, 2012 Leave a comment

Summary: The reason we went to Kozhikode? We will come to that in the details. But this morning, we took a long stroll aroung the 40 acre estate, then checked out Iruppu Falls and the temple. After that, much deliberation happened and we drove towards Kozhikode via Wayanad. The short and sweet distance to cover took about 4.5 hours in total. The round and round and the world comes down trip made the khalasi seat biwi a little light headed. But we checked into a tripadvisor recommended hotel Asma tower in the evening and decided that the day would end here. So, it was a short 300 odd km day. Why 300? Since Kozhikode is less than 200km? We will come to that too. But the crisp takeaway – 300 odd kms over 8.5 hours of driving. Loved the beautiful wayanad region, figured out that of the three beaches around Kozhikode, Kappad is considered better, but Kozhi’s own beach is the really crowded one. Major Marina Beach and Golden Beach feeling happened. And learnt a few tiny lessons about better road tripping, maybe.

So, as expected, we couldn’t get up at 5:30, so Nik missed the 5:45, and we got all fired up to catch the 6:15 bus. Its a different matter that I was so sleepy that I almost slipped and broke my hand. But since we had to continue marching forward with no real pain (?), I did not. All good. At 6:15 the bus did not turn up. Yeah. It was one of those scheduled buses that may or may not make the schedule. The uncleji at the homestay, Mr. Raghu suggested we go to Gonikoppal to drop Nik. His mental maths was that the distance was about 25 kms. On the meter, it was about 45. Well, this, I am used to happening to me. Across India. “Bas thoda sa hai, paidal nikal jaiye” or “bas wo thoda aage hai. left side mein” kinds. Anyway, uncleji accompanied us for showing the way, and I didn’t complain because that early, with the fog still not cleared and the weather a pleasant cold, I was enjoying it.
After a 90km round trip, we had Nik packed and despatched, and biwi had ordered for coffee and breakfast. For the breakfast we had rice balls with bhaji (alu bhaji) and chutney. And some poached eggs. Delicious. Again. And that’s when the deliberation happened. After much debate, the end conclusion was – hold your breath – lets take a walk. The homestay streteched for several acres and we decided to take an unsupervised walk and do some meet and greet with the nature. It was a beautiful time of the day and the walk across the estate was great fun. We came back an hour or so later, and then decided to explore the Iruppu Falls. Now, here is a funny thing about Iruppu falls. All the local signages are for Irpu falls, while google talks about Iruppu or Irpu or Irupu,  and occasionally leads you to different places, one of them being 98kms from the homestay. Better sense prevailed, and we asked Renuka, the wife and the primary caretaker for the homestay.

With some little confusion, we covered the 7-8km distance to Irpu Falls. Another example of some place with great potential gone waste. The damn fall is about 120 odd steps of trekking up away. While you get to the fall, there are several treks that offshoot from there. Now, the problem I have is – most of these are not safely laid out (which is somewhat ok), are completely unsupervised and with no cellphone signal either (which could still be fine), and are never mentioned anywhere until you reach that signboard which says – a 6km trek to XXX and and 9km trek to YYY. It also expects you to buy a ticket, but you can’t see a ticket counter to buy the trekking ticket from. And with dustbins every 20 odd steps, our fellow countrymen still decide to throw plastic bottles and piss wherever mother nature reminds them. So much for tourism promotion in our country. Ideally, someone who’s into trekking can spend a couple of weeks easily in the region, just ticking off one interesting trek after another. But we sold our ideals around the time of independence. So, zip it.

The irpu temple is under renovation (at the base of the hill). The legend goes that when Rama-Lakshman et al were crossing this place during their vanvasa, Ram was very thirsty and wanted Laks dude to get him some water. Laks dude fired an arrow into the ground and that’s how the rivers and the water fall came into being. The place is also called Lakshman Teertha, and the place where Rama did the worship of Lord Shiva is the Irpu temple. Holds great respect and has more visitors during Shivratri. So, if you are looking to trek, you can avoid that particular time of the year.

We came back an hour and a half or so later from the fall, and proceeded to do some touristy stuff. We bought vanilla tea from the nearby shop! Yeah! With that taken care of, we came back to the homestay, had another great meal. And then packed and left. But not before another round of deliberation happened.

See. The original plan was that we will go towards Kasargod from here and then stay at Bekal or something. Our calculation, which had gone haywire over the last couple of days, suggested a 4-5 hour drive. But Uncelji was of the opinion that Kasargod is a waste of time and a much worse drive (road quality wise), and we should rather go towards Kozhikode via Wayanad. Especially since Kozhi is just 2 -2.5 hours away. And Kerala has better roads than Karnataka.After a lot of very Indian discussion-  where the alpha male speaks with great confidence about things he has never done in his life but has definitely got an opinion about, and the alpha female (or beta female) decides to occasionally chime in with some details thoughtfully. Its only later that you realize which part was correct and/or relevant.

Now, at the end of this drive to Kozhi, I realized a couple more things. One – don’t trust everything and everyone (this actually was just a reinforcement) and two – I do look like Schumacher or Alonso from some angle. Anyway – no major complaints since it only took 4-5 hours to get to Kozhi and by then we had given up any hope of moving further up to, say, Kannur or Kasargod. That being said, since the entire drive is through the wayanad region and you go and up down the entire ranges, its a beautiful serpentine road. Two lanes. No divider. And people driving at Thalaivar speeds. Anyway, biwi rose to the occasion, and drove another 40 odd kms this time (she did a 30 odd km ranging towards Nagarhole as well yesterday). After that, she decided that this was too much and so she started periodically dozing off in the khalasi (conductor/helper/chotu) seat.

As we were getting closer to Kozhi, we realized that we’d rather stay here overnight and then start towards mangalore/udipi and beyond. We did two things that most respectable internet savvy people do. We checked the things to do in Kozhi. Surprisingly, there isnt much. Second, we checked travelguru or something to see which might be a decent mid range hotel to stay at. We picked Asma Tower and came out very satisfied. Ask them as you book, and they will easily offer you a 20% discount on rack rates.

So we had some mean fish dish which came wrapped up in delicious tomato based masala and fried and then steamed inside a banana leaf. That with Appam and some soup. Some more lying down, reading and the lights went out. The plan for the next day – 120 odd kms to Mangalore (2-3 hours) and then take a call for the go forward. And maybe, drive till Bekal and beyond.

From a roadtrip perspective, three important lessons –

1. For road conditions, refer to team-bhp.com . The guys on those forums are probably the best updaters.

2. For every destination you are thinking of plan +/- 50km radius as well. Because there are too many things that may not be in your control.

3. And this one’s important – It’s very difficult to find hotels with rooms that are not damp or have absolutely clean bathrooms. After Asma, we realized that it does make you feel a lot better if you are sleeping in a nice clean place. It might be a tad more expensive, but sometimes, it’s worth it. At least, plan for it so that you’re not surprised if you don’t get it.

And yes, we are excited about finally starting on the west coast drive – the konkan experience!

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Day 3, 4- Bangalore, Dabaspet, Mysore, Nagarhole

December 9, 2012 Leave a comment

*Back posted to maintain the continuity of the road trip. *

Summary: Spent day 3 in Bangalore meeting some friends during the day and devouring some amazing alooparathas made by Amit’s mom. Made a rushed drive to meet my mamaji, maami, cousin and my nani. At Dabaspet, which is about 50km backward on the same NH4 via the same outer ring road. Ate some more good motherly affection laced food, and then left at 6:30 in the morning of day 4 (having planned to leave at 5).  Got my cousin to tag along for this leg of the journey. Realized what different things people mean when they say that the roads are good. Drove towards Mysore, saw Philomena Church, couldnt see the palace, and then proceeded to Nagarhole National Park. Reached Narikadi Homestay in Kutta (t as in Tomato, not t as in “tarikh par tarikh”) after a gruelling drive. Approx 2:30 in the afternoon. Had a great lunch and dinner at Narikadi. Went for the evening safari at NHNP. The meter was at 1430 km or so by now. The trip mileage was at 13.5 kmpl. And the route we had taken was Bangalore-Dabaspet-Bangalore (NICE)- Mysore Road-Mysore-Hunsur-Nagarhole-Kutta. Torturous road, somewhat scenic as you drive through the national park.

Now the details –

Bangalore D3 was mostly about resting at our gracious hosts’ home, eating some amazingly delicious aloo paratha made by Amit’s mom for breakfast, meeting a few friends. Plan changed a little in the evening when I realized that my bade mama is posted 50-odd kms from Bangalore, and against what I was thinking, it’s not to be on my onward journey from Bangalore where I’d meet them, but that I had already missed out on meeting them on my way to Bangalore. See, they are at Dabaspet which is between Tumkur and Neelamangalam on NH4. To make matters worse, I realized very late that my nani is here as well. So biwi and I rushed over to spend the night with them. Quality time (limited though) was spent with mama, mami, nani and my little brother nikku. We also managed to convince Nikku to join us for the next leg of the trip to Nagarhole. And yeah, there was some delicious food at home – parathas, anda bhurji, rajma, bhindi, etc.

On D4, we had plans of leaving at 5 in the morning, and as per the plan, we left at 6-6:30. We took the NICE toll road to exit towards Mysore. And this is also the beginning of my learning that all roads are not the same. All highways are not 4 lane. All driving is not rational. And all Karnataka has ridiculous road bumps.
Anyway, to cut the long chase short, starting at ~1070kms on the meter, we did ~350kms during the day to get to Nagarhole via Mysore. We saw the Philomena Church in Mysore, where the Sunday mass was in progress. We wanted to spend an hour at the palace too, except that for some ridiculous reason (the King’s birthay or wedding anniversary or such), the palace was to open not before 11:30. And we were at Mysore at 10:00. We did the maths, and decided to move forward because we were keen on doing the afternoon/evening safari at Nagarhole.

We had booked through trailroute.in and were to stay at Narikadi home stay at Kutta. Its not Kutta as in Dog. The “t” sounds like the t in Texas and Tomato.  The drive from Mysore to Kutta takes you through the Nagarhole national park (Rajiv Gandhi National Park) and the distance of about 90 odd kms is a punishment for at least half of your sins. At least that’s what I think. That should make me happy, right? Half my sins absolved for? Well, that’s not your first reaction as you are going through the experience. You just want to get it done with and move on to a more sinful life at that point, just in case there is very little of it left. The roads are bad, and have been laid sporadically across what must have been a giant pothole encompassing the whole of the region in the times of Mahabharata. The speedbreakers are extremely torturous, especially for people who drive a car like the City. The number of times your car scrapes through makes you wonder if you will ever be able to drive beyond 10kmph.

Well, we managed to reach the homestay at about 2:30PM or so. ~4hours from when we started from Mysore. The route was the Hunsur one, in case you are wondering.

Things did improve from here. We had some excellent food waiting for us. A spicy dry variety of chicken, the brown rice pulao, white rice, sambhar, rasam, papad, two different vegetables, some pickle, curd, etc. Most excellent. Detour: There is a  little thing I need to share here. Whenever I am in my native village, somehow the food that has been procured closer to home and is less processed/moved around, etc. seems a lot tastier. And I am not sure if you have eaten food from the wooden/ clay ovens in villages. Something’s there that makes you wonder where that extra bit of taste is coming from. Not quite sure if that was the case here, but these guys have a 40 acre  estate where a whole bunch of farm products are sourced from, for their own kitchen as well.

We then rested for about 45 minutes and then left for the Nagarhole safari. The pics will be inserted once I have had a chance to overcome my laziness. The safari was interesting because at least two of the parties sharing the bus with us had already paid some under-table money to the driver to ensure good views and better exploration. People with giant lenses and mega-camera-bodies were with us trying to catch a glimpse of something exotic. Unfortunately for them, and not so bad for us, we saw the four horned antelope, a lot of cheetals, some sambhars, couple of Gaurs (wild bison), elephants, tonnes of monkeys and one lion tailed macaque. Between the three of us, we moved the camera around to get passably decent pictures of wilderness and animals. Done. Ticked. Get back to the home stay. Time check – 6:45PM. Darkness – check. Laziness-check. Fatigue- double check. Food craving – check.

Dinner surpassed the lunch with supremely fine vegetarian and non-vegetarian fare. Language barriers with the serving staff made it difficult to get a lot of answers about the recipes or the contents, but I am a foodie who enjoys eating more than analyzing what is being eaten. Or instagraming it. The items included a variety of chilly chicken, coconut milk flavoured chicken variety with gravy, a very oil-free and delicious variety of bhindi with some coconut scrapings for garnishing, a very different variety of cabbage (new taste for me), some rasam on the side, and some rice. Usual suspects (curd, pickle, papad) etc were there.

By then we were in the zone where we lay down to read some and then go off to sleep. The plan for Day 5 was tentative, like most plans. One thing we knew, that NIkku had to catch a bus back to Bangalore. Which meant a 5:30AM start tentatively. For the records, I still hate getting up early morning.

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A Sliver of Memory from 1997

December 8, 2012 11 Comments

29th June 1997 – The 25th marriage anniversary of my parents. I was in Std XII then, my brother was in college, and my sister had just started working at TCS in Mumbai. We all felt that we should treat it like a big deal. And so we planned a lot of things. Except that the real sources of money at that point were what we could scrape together from saving something every month from our pocket money, my annual NTSE scholarship (a princely sum of Rs 1750) and whatever my sister could save from her first month’s salary, assuming that she also had to reach Ranchi from Mumbai in reasonable time.

The countdown was interesting. A train from Mumbai would reach Kodarma/Dhanbad from where one of my cousins (Sanjay Bhaiya) was going to pick my sister and get her to Ranchi (hopefully before 6PM). Till then, me and bhaiya would have tried to get everything together. We had enough support from Mamas and Mausis and Bhaiyas and a whole bunch of relatives in Ranchi.
We bought a nice Kurta Paijama set for dad, a his and her watch set, a tiny gold earring and a sari for mom, made arrangements for the cake etc. and tried to get ready. And it was great fun. This now brings me to the picture here.
anniv7

Mom and Dad aren’t used to this sort of public display of affection where Dad would put a piece of cake in Mom’s mouth or vice versa. Esp. in the presence of so many people. SO, mom was majorly embarassed and this one picture is of that particular moment as my Mom was trying to avoid the cake. On a side note, my mamaji who had the camera (of the famed 36 ka roll era) in his hand had decided to not wear his glasses because of the usual problem that all bespectacled people had with clicking pictures with old world cameras. This also implied that this is one of the rare few pictures from that anniversary album which is pointed at the right place at the right time. Most others have the heads of key people missing.

This moment remains close to all of us for how we scrambled to pull everything together, the great time we had and of a time when we did not have much, and fortunately, we did not need much.

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Day 2 : Hubli to Bangalore

December 7, 2012 2 Comments

So, we stayed in the Deluxe room at Tirumala Classic (also known as Dhammanagi Comforts) at Hubli. Breakfast was included in the rack rate. And the biwi and I had crashed rather early last night. Getting up at 4:30AM in excitement of starting this trip was finally hitting us, apparently.
We got up rather in time this morning (as planned) and were ready to leave Hubli by 7:30ish or so. Except that the breakfast would get served not before 8, which soon became 8:15 as per the best guesses offered by the hotel staff. Rather than spend another hour or so all decked up to leave, we decided in favor of checking out. However, the hotel staff was very friendly and offered to send the breakfast to our room right then. The offer was availed, but the delivery happened at 8:10 or so anyway! Indian hospitality has a way of biting you on your backside, you know. More often than you realise. Like that extra mithai that you eat on Diwali.

So, by the time we left, it was 8:45 or so. And this time round, we asked for the way to the highway rather than depend on google maps (our yesterday story on gmaps is in writing and shall be shared in due course of time). We hit the highway at 9:05 and started breezing through Karnataka after that. The destination was Bangalore – 403 ams from here. The next 250-300 kms were a breeze, and I think we were averaging 100+ kms an hour till then. Things slowed down once we reached Chitradurga. Work on the Golden Quadrilateral is not yet complete here onwards. In layman terms, it means that every 3-5 kms, you would be getting off the highway to drive a km or so as a diversion. Anyway, to cut the long chase short, we took about 4-4.5 hours to reach Bangalore outskirts, and another hour or so to cross the last 30kms or so to reach Whitefield where we are being graciously hosted by dear friends Amit and Shubha. After resting a bit, we had an evening bite at Alila and dinner at Chez Mariannick. Both the places are strongly recommended. At CM, you should go with the La Bergere pizza. Their chicken pizza was not that awesome. The veg one (La Bergere) was brilliant. Desserts are mindblowing too.

So, what’re the key takeaways from today –

  • Outer Ring Road is a colossal mess.
  • Some idiot has taken a lot of pain to design the speed breakers in Bangalore. They have been designed for the sole purpose of damaging cars and ensuring that no one even thinks about spending a lot of money on cars like Lamborghini or Ferrari. Those poor bottom feeding vehicles wont last a week in this city.
  • Also, in addition to the fuel expenses, you need to budget almost one rupee per kilometer on this highway as the toll fee that you’d pay at great frequency.
  • (This is for Mumbai folks only) – The houses and apartment complexes in Bangalore are huge!
  • And lastly, Bangalore is the only city where there are hundreds of Kebab and Biryani corners that specialize in Indian Chinese or Chinese Tandoori.

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Day 1: Mumbai to Hubli

December 6, 2012 4 Comments

Writing a road trip diary is difficult. A lot happens which is of interest to you and not to others. And a lot is observed which might not be of interest to you, but could be of value to others. Where do you draw the line? What do you tell? And what do you skip?

So, on day 1, in summary, we drove 650 kms, stopped at Panhala fort, had breakfast before Pune, and lunch at Kolhapur, stopped for the night at Hubli (and struggled a lot to find a room on the fly), and felt good about life in general. The mileage has been 14+, and my love for an automatic car has multiplied manifolds (I drive a Honda City Automatic). For those of you who wonder whether one misses the stick, now, the final answer is NO. The only question left was whether on a highway with significant change in terrain every now and then, would I miss the stick? After these 650kms, I am absolutely clear. All my cars from here onwards are going to be automatic. I will sacrifice the mileage advantage for the comfort of a good automatic. And with 14 on the highway, I am actually not complaining about the mileage either.

Panhala Fort is like the potential of Indian youth. A great idea with no tangible results. Two interesting tidbits – the west gate has hindu inscriptions on one side (Shivaji era) and muslim inscriptions on the other (Adil Shah era), AND the fort has 11 stories, of which only 2-3 are accessible now (what a pity!).

From a drive perspective, the only sub-standard stretch till hubli is after you’ve crossed Belgaum where since the GQ work is not complete, the roads become a two lane highway with no dividers, which effectively means a single lane highway. Otherwise, the drive is an absolute pleasure. I think the biwi got the raw end of the deal on driving (she drove us across Pune for a 80 odd km stretch). Much as my instincts kept kicking in trying to tell her how to do certain things (she has only recently started driving and this was her first highway drive), I think she drove quite well (insert a major proud feeling kind of thing here).

More laterz!! And yes, a comprehensive road trip diary shall also be compiled for the route we take.

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In Anticipation

December 5, 2012 10 Comments

Tomorrow morning, in all likelihood, if not tonight itself, we begin our road trip. The plan is to hit Bangalore first, and then hit the western coasts closer to Kozhikode, and then drive along the Konkan highways back to Mumbai. The trip should be somewhere in the 2500+ km range, and while we have 10-odd days budgeted for it, we are going in with a couple of planned things and leaving the rest to the flow of the moment. I said “in all likelihood” because I hate jinxing things by referring to them as being 100% in my control.

First, this might end up being the first real real break for us in a long time. It will be the first time in a long time that my mind would not be wandering back to the office or the work or the projects (the same can not be said about the biwi, even though the biwi is much better than me at leaving office behind). That does include the long break I had taken at the beginning of the year, which served as a reasonable vacation but didn’t really help me take my mind off work. And with me not switched off completely, the biwi has had to bear the brunt of planned imperfect getaways.

Second, I have a habit of trying to pack too much in any given day to be able to relax fully. People to meet, stuff to write, books to read, music to listen to, notes to take, tasks to do, etc etc. To the extent that sometimes the day never ends and the next day is already here. And I am hoping that at the end of these ten odd days, I would know that the world doesn’t end if I don’t do too many things, and better still, I would have a few more answers for myself.

Third, driving on long stretches cleans my head. It’s my meditation time of sorts. And I am not sure if it happens to you, but me and the biwi do actually manage to stay silently together for very very long stretches of time before (more often than not) breaking the silence for the exact same topic. Like that song on radio or the movie reference behind it, or that ad on the highway, or the car that we might have just overtaken. Somehow, we notice very similar things that brings us back from our reverie. In silence, we converse. But the short of it is that these drives tend to be a good medication for my generally confused mind.

Fourth, this, much to my happiness, and not exactly to biwi’s unhappiness, is probably the least planned trip for our 7 years of knowing each other. Biwi, like a true biwi and like a true female, loves to have a plan. Me, like a husband, and like a true desi male, is not fond of planning. I believe in that perfectly executed plans might give you satisfaction of execution, but they take away the joy of discovery. I think the word is Epiphany.

And last, I am a firm believer that while my facebook feed is full of my friends’ announcements of their phoren-vacations and ubercool DSLR-photoshopped photographs with 117 likes and 63 “wow! when did you go? I went their last year” kind of comments, there is much that our poor little country has that should be seen-shot-photoshopped. I plan on only seeing. Maybe some shooting. No photoshopping.

It also means that marathon blogging may focus on the road trip, OR to some mindlessly mindbending meandering musings on the road (example of anupraas alankar). I am looking forward to sharing something interesting. And if nothing else, the roads to take 😉

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An unfinished poem

December 4, 2012 5 Comments

As I wait
For it to be clear,
It gets a little murkier still
The directions, the roads,
And the destinations,
Seem a little farther still.

The wanderlust, the open eyes
The craving in the middle of the night
The blanket hot and cold the same
The reading by the candlelight

The solitary temple by the fields
The fireflies, the mellow dark,
The lonely walk to nowhere
The differences in colors so stark

A fish in the pond,
And a frog in the well,
Once taken across the timeless wheel.
A burning itch, and a soulless ditch,
No backward glance, a game of chance.

On these and much more, now I dwell.

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Mumbai Roads, Autorickshaws, and Zen

December 3, 2012 6 Comments

I enjoy driving. Much as the city has tried taking the joy out of any kind of driving, i still am in love with driving. How? I don’t quite understand myself. So, I can’t explain. What prompted this post? This, I can explain.

See. This morning I dropped the car for servicing. It has suffered some body damage recently, but due to some problems with the RTO, I was not in a position to claim insurance, and hence the delay. That RTO problem will require a separate post. Anyway, since no car and break time implies that I shall travel and little more around the city, and shall have to take the auto rickshaw. This post follows as a zen like experiential memoir. You SoBo snooties, don’t bother with this post. You have too much money to worry about the problems of the commoners. Yes, we can eat cake if we have run out of bread. Kthxbye.

If you have ever felt any doubts about the exact shape, contour, smoothness, friction, etc of Mumbai roads, you should take an auto rickshaw.

The backseat of an auto is Buddha’s shrine. Or the antithesis of it. There is no need to say Om loudly, and feel its vibration, hence. Every inch of your body feels every possible vibration every possible measurable unit of time. Sometimes, your teeth chatter long after you have taken the customary pissing break in the middle of the movie (assuming you took an auto to get to the theatre). The silence inside an auto reminds one of Kiron Kher im Devdas. Shotti. If you needed something to focus on, you could use the auto’s meter. These days, it moves at a pace that reminds you of stationarity in motion. And then there is the fluidity with which an auto navigates this congested traffic. Great way of learning how to deal with life. Rules don’t exactly matter. If you are smart, you can scare the big guys. You can brake to slow down. Or not to let the other guy slow down. There is no harm in taking the longer route. Because the ever changing customer’s loss is the stationary in time rickshaw driver’s gain.  The customer is the king that rewards the prajaa. And once you have been in there for a bit, the Mumbai auto rickshaw has the capacity to drown out everything else from your life.

Yet the thing that teaches me the most is the Mumbai road. Life will not be fair. Yet it can be called so. Its ok to get it 50% right. Because the optimist believes in a glass that is half full. It also tells you that – Traveler, there are no roads. Roads are made by Walking. That the journey is sometimes more important the destination. Every day a large sea of humanity searches for the road less travelled. And a few succeed.  You will encounter a road bump or a pothole when you least expect to. That these constant up and down movements that seem to break your back are a blessing in disguise. Because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Or stranger. That you can stop a cavalcade with the power of an outstretched hand. We don’t need roads that resemble hema malini ke gaal. We have hema malini herself in the city. So the road shall resemble not her gaal,  but her wholesome self. Smooth? Are the state operators. Those who plan skywalks that need to be demolished soon afterwards.

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Batman: The Unfulfilled Fantasy

December 2, 2012 2 Comments

“You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.”
“…”

“Well. Not this time. The Bat is mine. And only mine.”

SLASH!!!!

Joker loses his smile as blood gushes to the floor.

“And you Mr. J, are spoiling our fun time. Don’t look so surprised. I am the dark side of this dark knight my dear. Now, off you go. Hippity Hoppity Hippity Hoppity.”

She kicks him once, blows a kiss towards Batman, turns around and walks away. Batman looks on.

She called herself Fantasy. Batman had met his equal. His Fantasy.

“30 minutes from now?”
“Uh huh Mr. Man”, Fantasy vanished. Just like The Bat.

In the darkness just before twilight, Batman and FP are making out. The masks stay on.
.

.

.
Fantasy is dressing up.
“Time to go!”
“I can go for some more of the Prime time.”
“You never had a good sense of humor, did you?”
“Well. No. Traumatized childhood, you know.”
“Funny. You never spotted the opportunity.”
“But I did”

Fantasy smiled. And vanished. And Batman too.

Six Months Back
It started with the encounter with the joker six months back. Joker was becoming more and more innovative with his strategies. He had accomplices. And Batman was getting older. And slower. And rusted. Street crimes were fodder. They were not training him hard enough. And his encounters with Joker were becoming more and more laborious. And he missed Robin. He missed having a training partner. And an ally. Alfred just wasn’t fun enough. And Alfred didn’t prowl the streets with him.

She had showed up just as he was cornered. Badly.
“Need a hand. I am up for the job.” She said.
“There is no vacancy. Who are you?”
“Well then. Let me start my own ENTERPRISE. Mr. Man.”  The way she said it, it almost sounded like Mr. Wayne.

Fantasy moved like him. Precise, planned, gadgety without being crazy. Theatricality and deception are good weapons.

He had been trying to track Fantasy down, but there were no traces. There was no linkage to the crime syndicate. And the crime rates were heading south. Gordon was under pressure. Administration hated Batman and his flaming red haired partner. But like always, Batman was a step ahead of them. And Fantasy was a step ahead of Batman.

Seven such encounters later, he got his chance. This time, Batman was late. And Fantasy at risk. Bat saved the day, and brough Fantasy back to the cave.

“Remember Romeo. Anyone can be Batman…” She said as she faded. He left the mask be.

Six hours later, they made out for the first time.

“So, I can claim The Batman’s virginity.”
“And I can claim yours.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself Bat. You’ve been around forever. I am the sexy intern. Don’t be so sure”
“… ”
“And don’t be so sore.”

Three Months Later
Gotham is a safer place. Earlier, the weed would find newer places to grow. This time, Batman cornered them, and Fantasy cured them. This worried Batman. For he was no longer the threat. Fantasy was. He could protect Fantasy, but he could not. Just as she could protect Batman, but not Bruce Wayne. And in a city like Gotham, you could never be sure. It attracted the worst scum of nearby places, and its dirt had spread to other places. He wanted to ask her. But that would break the pact. And that would increase the risk.

He was standing by the bat signal. He knew she would be there. Or should be there. She wasn’t.

And that’s how it ended. The bat still prowls around in the night. The city is safe. But the bat is not. Batman is not needed anymore. But Rachel is gone. And so is Fantasy. Some place else, Gordon is looking at his family photograph.

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Talaash can be watched. But only once

December 1, 2012 6 Comments

** No Spoliers **

There are several well constructed and bewildering moments in Talaash, the stand out being the introduction of Shernaz Patel as Feni Mistry . The queerness of her personality in her introduction scene is quickly replaced by a reasonably mature albeit abnormal personality, sadly.

Let that not deter you because Talash is a very well made movie. Slowly brewed, gripping, especially in the first half, the movie is carried forward by Aamir Khan’s intensity more than anything else. The movie is also a very gentle reminder of how good an actress Rani Mukherjee is and how she has wasted her career. The movie further reminds you that Kareena is beautiful, has oodles of expressions, and is extremely lazy about acting. The others are props. Much as is being said about Nawazuddin (it’s fashionable to talk about him), he is just about fine in the movie. And if you set the bar by his recent performances, below average. Shernaz is a disappointment, unexpectedly. Rajkumar Yadav – good but wasted. Almost everyone else exists to give Aamir a chance to act some more.

In a world where bundling is becoming a common phenomenon, Reema Kagti and Zoya Akhtar have managed to compensate for the discounted script with some good background score (Ram Sampath) and good camerawork. The movie maintains the feel and the ambience and the colour pallettes of a good suspense thriller. The music is good and maintains the pace of the movie. Songs are not distracting. One of the full-length songs (“jee le zara” in the background) could have been trimmed for the movie.

The last 10-15 minutes of the movie are an unqualified torture on your senses. One thing that I am strictly against  is thrillers trying to round off everything and then continuing on for some more.  Simplicity is such a difficult thing.

You cannot avoid getting pissed at the gaping flaws in the script. And it’s very difficult to unleash your fury at Reema and Co unless you are allowed to criticise most of the focal diversions in the movie. So, I will skip to the biggest problem with the movie. It’s a movie that can not be watched twice, much as it is a movie that you would not mind watching once.

So, go for it. Before someone as idiotic as Kamaal R Khan spoils the movie for you.

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