What I liked about Ishqiya: Not as much a movie review

February 3, 2010 Leave a comment

I watched Ishqiya last night, comfortable sprawled in the king sofa sets of Maxus, Sakinaka. I loved the movie immensely.
We (most movie bloggers) often like the movie first, and intellectualize our emotions later. Many a times, in the process of intellectualizing the emotion, we kill the real emotion. Mind over heart, as they say. That being said, there are a lot of things that clicked with me for this movie, and hence I will talk only about the most important things (for me). Acting, Music, and Dialogues are the more obvious positives. Characters and their portrayal is the less obvious one. The fact that I do not credit the story as much is the other less obvious thing.
Characters / Portrayal- The reason I am separating it from acting is because it’s a director/story-teller’s vision, that the actors convincingly or unconvincingly portrays on the screen, and that’s where debutant director Abhishek scores a maiden ton. Extremely human in their thinking and mannerisms, Arshad Warsi (Babban), Vidya Balan (Krishna) and Naseeruddin Shah (Iftikhar/Khalu jaan) are exceptional in the movie. And for once, I think Arshad and Vidya come across a notch better than Naseer, which by itself should be to the director’s credit.
Khalu’s body language when he is trying to steal a car, or during the song “dil to bachcha hai”, or when he is acting coy with Krishna telling her about Jayadev being the music director of the song she is singing, are all of the same man, and the same small time thief who is on his toes that he will get caught any minute. His anger at seeing Babban and Krishna together, completely over-ruling the thought that he himself had the same desires, given a chance, and subsequently hurting his best friend with the most heart wrenching comments in that anger – these are all extremely human scenarios, enacted perfectly by Naseer. But by now, I expect that from Naseer.
Babban, on the other hand, is the standard roadside goon that we all must have seen so many of in real life. Especially those who have spent some time in the central belt of India. The mannerisms, open shirt button, unshaved stubbled look, the walk with a forced air of rudeness, the “rolling over words” language are all so typical. Babban’s language is far more bhopali, and he has pulled it off with consummate ease. “Tumhara pyaar pyaar, aur humara pyaar sex” might be a dialogue that many people will quote in their respective gali mohallas. Almost every scene where Arshad is present, he takes the center stage.
The pick of the lot for me is Krishna’s character. Extremely manipulative, flirtatious with her husband, refined with Khalu, and in your face with Babban, her transition from one league to another is seamless. What is extremely impressive is that in that one intimate moment with Babban, Krishna comes across as someone who wants to keep the “sulphate” at bay, but her carnal desires being unmet for ages, she gives in to the emotion. And in that one moment, her carnal desires take over her plan of keeping both the men at bay. It comes across as a moment that she was not planning for, and my reading is that it was exactly that, more than a mere manipulation. Also, the scene where she realizes that beyond manipulations, the two men actually do love here, there is an expression on her face that should not be missed. It’s a beautiful transition, the way a cloud passes over your expressions every once in a while, when you hear an uncomfortable truth. I have believed Vidya Balan to be a good actress, but never realized she has come so far. Especially after Hey Babyy, my confidence had gone low. After Paa and Ishqiya, however, I think she should groom herself to be the next Smita Patil/Shabana Azmi cadre actress.

The other aspect that really stood out for me was the music, and by that I don’t mean just the 4 key songs from Vishal and Gulzar. Even the occasional picks in the movie like “kuch dil ne kaha… kuch bhi nahi” are amazingly well placed. The music arrangement for Ab mujhe koi intezaar nahi and Badi dheere jali are exquisite. Put them on your iPod and close your eyes, you are sure to transcend to another world of yearning. Even though Dil to bachcha hai and Ibn-e-batuta are the running favorites, my loyalty is shifting to “badi dheere jali raina, dhuan dhuan naina”.

Unlike pure blooded critics, I will not want to quote flaws “as well”, because overall, the movie worked for me. Those 2 hours were a breeze, and I came out satisfied.

Filed under Bollywood, Movie Review Tagged with , , , , , ,

Why r Indians Re-born ? GOOD ONE !!!

February 2, 2010 Leave a comment

Quite funny (Via Deepti)

this is really funny

Why only Indians are re-born ?

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said ‘I have to talk to you. We have some Indians here in heaven and they are causing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMWs instead of the chariots, and they’re selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairways to Heaven clear, since they keep reaching down midway eating samosas and
drinking chai. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!’

The Lord said, ‘Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems,give Satan a call.’

Satan answered the phone, ‘Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.’ Satan returned to the phone, ‘OK I’m
back. What can I do for you?’

Gabriel replied, ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having there.’

Satan says, ‘Hold on again. I need to check on something.’
After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and says,’I’m back. Now, what was the question?’

Gabriel said, ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’

Satan says, ‘Man, I don’t believe this! Hold on.’

This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, "I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now… These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire. Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone connection between heaven and hell…I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! Some were trying to start a chai – pakora shop, which I had to stop…

As a clincher, Satan then said, "I am requesting the Lord to send them back to earth as soon as they arrive as re-birth cases".They are really difficult to handle.

Filed under Musings Tagged with

Shaz, Waz & Bhaz? Dunce Premier League

February 1, 2010 3 Comments

Harbhajan Singh has made some shocking revelations in his yet to be published autobiography, portions of which were leaked online, reportedly by himself. He has apparently been inspired by Rakhi Sawant who believes that Jejus favors those who claim their rights, lefts and centers, at the drop of a hat. Unconfirmed sources reveal that the Turbanator, whose last successful outing was a dance competition where having gone for a back breaking dance performance along with partner Mona of “Bhajji jaisa koi nahi”, lost interest in any kind of outings shortly after the show.

He developed a keen interest in innings though, a phenomenon which is hardly driven by the feedback he received for his dance performance after winning the show. The judges, the good looking duo of Waseem Akram (known for his in-swinging Yorkers) and Sushmita Sen (who has been a bollywood industry insider for a while), caught his fancy, though it was unclear till now who had a longer lasting impact on Bhajji. During the feedback, Bhajji apparently heardthe judges say that “broke dunce” was something actors like Hrithik excelled at, and could be a great asset for a Bollywood career, if he ever decided to pursue one. Drawing inspirations from the successful Bollywood careers of previous actors like Mazhar Khan, whose blockbuster role “naam abdul hai mera sab ki khabar rakhta hoon”, and Mohsin Khan (whose unforgettable performance in Saathi, featuring songs like “chahe meri jaan tu le le”, are stuff legends are made of), Bhajji decided to immediately check the dictionary meaning of broke dunce.

Having concluded that Waseem bhai was instead making a point about what he thought of Bhajji (dunce) and his financial status (broke, the reason he apparently decided to become a swinger rather than a spinster), a devastated bhajji took the vow that he will beat Waseem bhai at his own game – toe crushing yore curse. Though he never looked up the meaning of toe, industry insiders claim that they fully understand the part of Waseem bhai’s anatomy he was going to crush/curse. Too tired to be a Moin Khan shouting “shabaas waseem bhai, shabaas”, Bhajji took to black magic, especially visible in his black turbanating performances in international cricket being supremely superior to all other spinsters being tried by the Indian team. He finally earned his rightful place down the order and in the middle overs.

I'm a black magic woman!

Black Mamba!

Bhajji trying doosra

Bhajji has also seen black a few times, the signs of which could be seen in his symbolic conversations with Symonds in a match during the friendly Australia series.

Sign is king!

Lately, unconfirmed reports from media suggested that Bhajji having read the confederacy of dunces (he reveals in the leaked prints that he never actually read the book, he just heard that it’s an award winning book which talks about the force that intellectuall duncity can be), and getting spurred by the successful run of 3dunces, led by the karismatic/kareenatic Aamir, remarked that being a dunce is not a bad deal, as long as you are not broke. Since then, he has decided to consume a lot of MSD for keeping him high up the preferential ladder compared to noobs like Mishraji (the mixed one) and Ojhaji (mera black magic tumhare ojha-tantrik jhaad phoonk se better hai). Some crack indeed. These addictions have also revealed why Waseem bhai’s comments hurt Bhajji so much.

After Shaz, why not Bhaz, is a question, he reportedly asks in his book. “Bhazzi & Wazzi on the beach” could have become the greatest love story since “Ajab Prem Ki Ghajab Kahani”! I think that Wazn’t meant to be!

Filed under Cricket, Humor Tagged with , , , ,

Faded Memories: Playing Cricket circa 1994, with Mahi.. or… Dhoni(?)

January 30, 2010 4 Comments

It was 1994. One year since I moved from Kendriya Vidyalaya, the government school that I was used to studying at, to DAV Shyamali in Ranchi. End of my standard 9th exams, a below average academic year by the standards set for myself, in a new school, and a notice on the notice board which talked about an upcoming cricket camp during summer vacations, I joined the camp. I guess more because it was cricket, and twice a day, than the fact that it was a camp.
That was first time I changed from being a backyard gully cricketer which probably 90%+ of school going boys were in those years, to someone who took (or wanted to take) cricket a little more seriously. And that was the time I met my cricketing quad – Anil Singh, Niraj Singh, Mahi (Mahendra Singh Dhoni) and myself. The camp was for 12-15 year olds. I was 14 then, and Mahi was 13. Niraj and Anil were my classmates.
Note: We still remember him as Mahi. His earlier cricket records from school league would mention Mahinder Singh. Not Dhoni. And yeah, it’s not the punjabi way of saying MAAAAAHI. It was Mahi, simple, with a very very short emphasis on ‘a’ (the ma of Maa – mother vs. the ma of Mandir). Or more ruggedly, “ka re, ee mahiyaa kahan hai”, which was not the mindblowing Maahiya kinds. It was the bihari Mahiyaa (with a very short emphasis on the first “a”).
The quad? because the four of us played for the DAV cricket team the same year. Anil was a left arm fast bowler, with a very nice angling run-up (Mitchell Johnson kinds) and had a natural outswinger. But too inconsistent, and too prone to nautanki (like trying to invent a left arm version of Kapil Dev’s vintage bowling pose). Niraj was a leg spinner who also batted up the order. Mahi was a keeper batsman (used to come in at 1 down or 2), and I was an off-spinner (the most lowly of breeds in the game of cricket).

In a short stint, I did well (I had my own off-spinner’s version of Anil Kumble – run up to the crease, jump, and pace – full package deal). That was the era, when India used to have spin trios all the time (Raju, Kumble, Chauhan kinds). So, having bowlers like me, Niraj et al in school league, which was more about slam, bam, thank you ma’m, was not a misplaced error from the selection committee.

Those of you who’ve followed ‘Dhoni’ would remember K R Bannerjee, the school teacher who moved him from soccer to Cricket. Though, in my memory from 1994 onwards, I don’t remember Mahi ever playing football/soccer that seriously. All my memories of him are of him playing cricket with me and the school team folks, or of him playing cricket with the team which had my brother and the likes of Tunna. But then, I must be wrong about his simultaneous calls from district level cricket and football being an urban legend.
We used to live in Mecon colony in Ranchi, and Mahi’s house was in the lane behind our house. J block. And, my brother was his tennis ball cricket team-mate ( they won a few local tournaments together), and I was his leather ball/school league cricket team mate (we also won a few tournaments together).

Back then, like his earlier years in international cricket, he was a mercenary batsman. Few snapshots I remember very vividly from 1994-1997 era- hitting Subroto Banerjee (who had just come back from an India team outing) for a six towards the square leg boundary (the ball landed on top of a huge water tank, several storeys tall a couple of blocks away from the stadium), hitting the double ton in school league final (a 35 over match), hitting 5 sixes in the space of 10 balls in a day-night tennis ball tournament (where for some weird reason, he had not come in at his usual 1 down, and had come pretty late down the order). One of those sixes was a hoist over cover boundary (and believe me, its not very easy with a tennis ball, when playing under dim lights).

The only thing I had in common with him was the devil may care attitude about our game. Hit me for a six, and I would hardly be flustered. Get him out first ball, or beat him three balls in a row, he would hardly be flustered. And he would have the widest grin for everything. That is something still seen on TV. Though I dont remember seeing him get angry about anything back then. He does now. Guess the stakes are too high now.

A batch junior to me in school, and with our limitations limited to the cricket ground and thereabouts, he was the usual 9th standard Ranchi kid back then. Always up to some mischief or the other, had a wise-crack for almost everything, was interested in the girls around, but probably hadn’t talked to more than a couple, loved batting more than keeping, loved taking a single off the last ball to keep the strike, and avoiding doubles even when the opportunity would be for a quick three. Don’t remember him as someone who’d walk away with his bat if he got out early. He also wanted to hit more boundaries than take runs. And he could run the first run really quickly, if it was the first delivery of the over.

There aren’t a lot of outings we had together. Why? I was from a background where hopes resided on my academic abilities more than my athletic abilities. My brother anyways was a much better cricketer than me, and had succumbed to the ways of preparing for engineering entrance examinations long before me. Though, to be fair to myself and everyone else, I did play a few important matches during that year’s school league, and had the call to join the district team. Its a different matter that the final round of NTSE exams on 14th May 2005 coincided with the district team training and selection camp. That being said, the outings we had together, we never dropped a game. And in some of them, I did play my part as well.
So, starting with the camp, I took 7/12 in the final match of the camp, and Mahi scored 43 of 30 odd balls. I think he took 30 odd balls because Jitendar Bhaiya (the wicketkeeper of Mecon cricket team who was running the camp) had threatened him with repercussions if he threw his wicket away.
In the school league finals (under 15), I took 3/22 in 6 overs, after he scored a double ton against my earlier school, Kendriya Vidyalaya. School league finals (with oldies), I had taken 4/23, while he scored a half century.

We went to the DAV east zone selections together, where we both got selected. It was the year, when the trials had happend in torrential rains. For one of the catches during fielding trials, I had skidded a distance of over 15 feet, involuntarily I must add. Anyways, I was considered as a bowler who had pace variations, a nice loop, and a nice dip. It’s a different matter that I took up off-spin bowling because I did not have the height or arm for pace bowling, and unlike Kumble I was conceptually against building a career in spin bowling, unless I could actually turn the ball. For him, there were no adjectives. He came, played for his trials in the nets, and there was a tick. No one asked a question, no one gave any answers.

By the way, the only time I remember batting in a match in those scattered matches across two years (I did not play much after 1995), was in an internal match where he was in the other team. For the record, I did not get him out in that one, but conceded only 15 runs from 4 overs for 2 wickets. Some achievement, huh?

Fading memory – me and my brother talking about him in 1999, when he had started playing for Bihar/ Railways. Our fear back then was that even if he survived the politics of Bihar cricket (you had to be a favorite of Deval Sahay to be in the Bihar team), it would be difficult for him to survive the national cricket/zonal cricket politics and reach the Indian team. And this was the era, when the teams world over had brilliant wicketkeeper-batsmen (Andy Flower, Alec Stuart, an emerging Gilchrist, etc.), and we wanted to place our bets in him. Bhaiya felt that he was not as good a wicket keeper, but his batting should have been enough to get him the slot, if there was no politics.

BTW, that just reminded me of an incident that a colleague of mine narrated about Devang Gandhi. When he got selected for the Indian team as an opener, apparently, Sadagopan Ramesh missed out. At that time, the culture of Ranji was that you played more cricket within the zone, which mean that DG (from Bengal) would play more against Tripura, Orissa, et al. DG was scoring heavily at that time in Ranji. SRamesh quipped – against teams like that, even Mahatma Gandhi would have scored a double century.

Anyways, almost everyone that we know from those years in Ranchi, like Kaushal or Deepak et al, they’ve all met him post his rise to stardom, and they all say that he is still the same. The wickedness and the nicety in the same pack. And its good to see him rise so much. It’s a small town story that we see in movies. He really did not have a kit full of bats, or a car dropping him for nets or a set of boots (one for batting and one for keeping). He often played cricket wearing canvas shoes (or chappal, for tennis ball cricket). But he was brilliant then. And he is excellent now, in a different way.

Filed under Cricket, Musings Tagged with , , , ,

Found: Long Lost Post on Tambrahms by Bee

January 29, 2010 1 Comment

Not sure if some of you have ever read it.. but this one was just brilliant.. Bee’s occasional blog then (bee.theblog.net) seems to have died a domain death since then, and so the article is lost to the internet generation. But after some link-digging, I found the article, and bring it to you for your reading pleasure ..

http://bee.theblog.net/sachin/2006/02/10/the_species_semi_autobiographical_sadly
(Its a dead link, btw)

*************************************************************************************************

Have you met someone who is reasonably tall, fair, with a reasonable build (sometimes frail, but never well-built), a tikka on the forehead, and a self-righteous expression on their faces in your college premises? If you still haven’t placed this species called Tambrahmo Sapien, I will describe further characteristics of this species.

The members of this species perform well academically, are generally religious, are sought after for their views, have an opinion on most things under the sun while simultaneously being non-judgmental, and frequently wear an "I have not been given my due by this world" expression on their faces. They are also consciously self-effacing (aka painfully modest) about their achievements (generally academic)

The members of this species have a strong desire to be with fellow species’ members though they are socially ‘accepted’ in other groups as well. When 2 Tam Brahms meet, they discuss a third, when 3 meet they discuss other species’ members, when more than 3 meet, they discuss topics like ‘Changes in socio-cultural patterns of urban India fuelling prosperity in rural India’ or ‘the inherent fallacies in the parliamentary democracy system’ with their collective decibel levels of discussion varying in direct proportion to the proximity of non-tam-Brahms, especially those possessing XY chromosome. A lone tambrahm has this brooding intellectual look about him giving an impression that he is trying to mentally divide 233 by 17 while he is actually benchmarking himself vis-à-vis other tambrahms and later on with other homo sapiens as well. This is a favorite pastime of the Tam Brahms.

They are fiercely competitive but are repulsed by the notion of relative benchmarking and frequently proclaim (with a sigh of relief) that they are glad that they didn’t get sucked into this rat race. That the tam-brahm knows the re-evaluated score in the second cycle test of the little known character with whom he has spoken to exactly twice before in his life is pure coincidence.

When tambrahms are locked in conversation, they laugh at jokes like ‘Even if you win the rat race you are still a rat’ and ‘statistics are like Bikini, they show a lot but not what you want to see’ but only so much a smile politely at sardar jokes or gujju accent jokes. Not that they mean ill to surds or gujjus, it is just that they have a far more refined taste than that.

They also revel in the knowledge of their own refined taste in art or literary forms and consciously move towards ‘better’ books rather than wasting time in mundane ‘pulp’ fiction. They are wont to make statements like ‘yeah, I used to read Sidney Sheldon when I was in class IX and X. I don’t know why but I used to like them a lot. Sheldon is pure pulp. You read 3 and you can write the 4th. Now, I am glad that I have graduated to Ayn Rand, PG Wodehouse and The Economist’. All this to a poor soul who has just told him that he liked a Sheldon novel that he had read the previous night. After a pause, the tambrahm follows his speech up with "yeah, I read that book and liked it too. Typical, but ok. If you are a Sheldon fan, it’s a great book". The well-kept secret of Tam Brahms is the fact the Tam brahm himself struggled his way through 985 pages of ‘Atlas Shrugged’ precisely for deriving the satisfaction of making the above statements.

Now, where is the catch? What is it that this species lacks? They are academically good (some are ‘gifted’), socially accepted everywhere, well-sought after for their views on everything, adored by even the girls, are considered smart and sincere, are on the right side of ethics and teacher’s favorites.

Wait a second; God isn’t all that kind to anybody. These guys have their share of problems too. In most cases, they are too good for themselves. When it comes to academics, their parochial attitude keeps them on the edge; in sports, upbringing and dietary constraints kill them; in social life, their pseudo-intellectualism does them in, but their biggest problem lies with their performance with girls. They generally get slotted into ‘Oh, he is a deeeeeaaaar friend’ or ‘I can always count on him for a chat after I have had a tough day with my boyfriend(s)’, or in really rare and sad cases ‘If only I had met him earlier’.

There is also a bunch of lads who slot into the between n and n+1 category, but more on that later.

Filed under Musings Tagged with

Back from hibernation

January 20, 2010 Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I posted. And as Confused points here, at times, it almost feels like starting afresh.

Anyways, it’s not like I have stopped watching movies, reading books, meeting people, or having thoughts. It’s just that I haven’t felt like writing for a while. Or rather, not felt like typing even when I felt like writing. Tonight is different. For reasons hitherto unknown to mankind (and myself), I am back with (hopefully) a short post.

The update is that biwi Is in Bangalore now. And we are back to meeting over the weekends. Married people can’t stop pointing to the positives of it, and others do not stop sympathizing over it. Bosses, a third group altogether, do not stop worrying about the possibility of my attrition now that biwi is not in Mumbai.   Like always, everyone’s right. It’s just a matter of perspective. And I did my MBA a few years back. SO, I do have multiple perspectives on this matter. But that matter is a different matter and shall be perspectivized some other time.

Just to get my groove back, let me share my reading list for the last few weeks/months that I have not been writing much during. It’s often said that the books you read and like reflect your personality. Well, here is mine.

  • Vengeance of Ravana (Book 7 of Ramayana Series by Ashok Banker – Recommended for those who’ve read the first 6. I would strongly recommend the first 6 first)
  • The Client (Grisham – Good, but passable)
  • Matheletics (Prof. Winston, whom I had the pleasure of meeting in November. Interesting for math and analytics buffs)
  • The 65 Lakh Heist (translated version of Surinder Mohan Pathak’s 1977 classic. Recommended for Bollywood and potboiler lovers)
  • Gods of War (Ashok Banker – passable/avoidable)
  • 30 pages of a M&B (I finally decided to steal one from biwi’s collection to understand why these are so popular with women. My take for “man” kinds – definitely avoidable)
  • The Mckinsey Engagement (Paul Friga) – Recommended for budding consultants
  • Stardust (currently reading, by Rupa Swaminathan (seems interesting so far (first 70 pages, that is)
  • Snow (Orhan Pamuk – for those who like John Steinbeck kind of stuff), amongst others.  I loved it, but at the same time, was extremely disturbed by the time I finished reading it).

More importantly, I finished reading a few comics mini-series –

and have started reading

All of these came with strong recommendations. The recos were right. All of these are excellent, with V and Identity Crisis being my favorites so far.

I also read Super Commando Dhruv’s “Dhruvishya” and “Aakhiri Dhruv”, which in my view, were quite crappy. I miss the originality of the earlier comics of Dhruv Series. The quality of artwork has improved, but the stories have gone from bad to worse.

And in case I never mentioned, I read MAUS – A Survivor’s Tale a little while back, and its phenomenal. Must read!

Now that you know what my latest personality is like, what is your reading list looking like? Anything you’d like to recommend?

Filed under Book Review, Musings Tagged with ,

Twitter Humour

December 23, 2009 Leave a comment

From: Dey, Gaurav

For all of us who ‘Tweet’…:P

Filed under Humor Tagged with , ,

Movie Review: Ajab p…ppp…fff..frame ki ggga…ga…gg..jab Kahani

November 8, 2009 13 Comments

Beat this – you are walking down the street with your girlfriend, and someone stops you and asks you if you are interested in a trip to Hawaii. All for 50 bucks. You say yes, very eagerly so. The dude then points you to the latest brand of Hawaii chappal. All for 50 bucks. That’s what Ajab Prem Ki Gajab Kahani Is.

It’s  A-JAB to break your FRAME.  APKGK is A movie that Santoshi made PK .

I had walked into the theater with high hopes, expecting to see a movie which was going to be different (these guys have also come up with APKGK comics as well, hum-tum style). The theater was housefull. India had just lost a match despite a thunderous innings from Sachin while chasing 351. The mood was somber, and a good light hearted comedy could have just been the right solution. But alas – Indian film-makers are rapists. They try to get you in a corner and rape you.  Of your sensibilities, money, and worst of all, your sense of humor.

The movie starts with a random Lord Hastings’ (or some Lord from Brit Era) mannequin harassing a dumb reporter looking for an “Ajab” story in this unnamed place, where nobody is to be seen. I knew that it’s likely going all downhill from here. But I had paid 300 bucks, and I had liked some of the songs. And I knew that Katrina Kaif was yet to come. At least there will be some visual delight in the movie.  That’s what I meant by cornering the unsuspecting audience like me.

After introducing an extremely over the top Ranbir Kapoor who has no idea why the bloody character of Prem was created in the first place, they introduce a “talking” Katz. C’mon, give me a break. Who pays money to hear Katz talk. She is supposed to walk in, look good, wear good dresses, smile a little, mumble some innocuous things, and dance, and make merry and leave. I would like to believe that Biwi is also usually happy to see Katz, for she might get some good dress, pumps and boot ideas.  But Santoshi does the unthinkable. She wants Katz to act. So here she is, stammering when she is upset, trying to act out of her skin. Totally justifying the salary she might be getting, she gets emotional, defends a set of mean foster parents, goes around town with Frame (that’s what it sounds like when Jenny calls out for Prem), and in the whole process, disappoints us beyond redemption. Sometimes, I wonder if the stammer-when-I-am-upset track was introduced simply to cover for Katz’s exquisity dialogue delivery.

Prem hangs out perennially with his friends, helping other people elope with their lovers. Not doing anything worthwhile, he runs happy club, which has no members, apparently. People come to play carrom, TT, etc. to happy club. And Prem is the smartest cookie in town, who is 9th fail, and he also stammers when upset. The character is so over the top that in one scene he actually falls from the top of a cliff, bicycle and thief asunder. The same thief vows revenge, and later becomes Don bhai, but the director forgets to remind him of his earlier reason of anger with Frame.  And so, they indulge in Priyadarshan style mindless fight scene where everyone is hitting everyone.

To be honest, I don’t have anything against Ranbir. I liked him in the bad movie Bachna Ae Haseeno, as well as the good movie “wake up sid”. I think the dood has potential if he can get over his doped look. But he is like Yuvraj Singh right now. Got sweet timing does not mean you can hit every ball outta the park. The characterization of frame is all over the place. In one shot, he is good for nothing. In another, he makes more than 5k per month just working as a halwai shop assistant. He walks to the halwai shop in a tie and shirt. Indian halwais sure are sure going places.

The worst though is reserved for a so-called special appearance from “Upen Patel”. Remember the UK return patel duuuude, who has acted in several movies as the sidekick now (like 36 China Town, Namastey London, etc.). His accent in the movie is thicker than waddi glass of lassi from Punjab, and surely thicker than Katz’s accent. He is a dude who is ready to settle down in Frankfurt and buy a Ferrai for Katz (Jenny). Frankfurt-Ferrari-Ferrari-Frankfurt.. you know.. the works… yeah yeah.. And buys a 1.5 Crore necklace for Jenny. And Jenny leaves him still. It’s got to be his extremely amazing histrionic skills that embarrassed Katz. How can I be seen with someone who looks like a patchwork and acts worse than Sunil Shetty in Balwan!!!

There are some saving graces – the best scenes of the movie are reserved for baap-beta interactions between Ranbir and Darshan Zariwala. Even though an extremely loud and hamming performance, Darshan still manages to deliver a few really funny ones.  Smita Jaykar as the mother is absolutely wonderful, especially in the scene where she is trying to stop Darshan from going to the bathroom because Katz is already in there. There is one scene where Ranbir comes with Jenny to a dance party. Slightly OTT, but Ranbir is fabulous in that scene.

The songs are good. But usually misplaced. In one song (kaise batayein), you almost get a feeling that it’s a Diamond ad. Not my company Diamond, but like a real Diamond. The kinds where actresses are wearing blank long dresses, and the brightness is artificially low, so that the glitter of the diamond is for everyone to see. Remember? Yeah, that kinds.  In another song, the whole city dances singing “Prem ki naiya hai ram ke bharose”. Yep. And it seems Allah Meherbaan to Gadha Pehelwaan. Nikhat Kazmi finds the movie to be worth four bloody stars. And I am sure there are others in his (or her?) ilk, who will find the movie adorable because Ranbir and Katz just look gorgeous on the screen.  Or, something like that.

In Masand style – I will go in with 1 star for this one, since it’s a bad movie, with a bad story, with bad characterizations, supported by bad acting and bad direction and  bad editing. The one star is for good songs, Smita Jaykar, and the Turkey shots in Kaise Batayein (given my recent trip to Turkey, I have an attachment to the place).

 

p.s. Turkey shots? ahem ahem… i am trying to imagine what it would be like to take turkey shots!! quite disturbing i guess!

Filed under Bollywood, Movie Review Tagged with , , , , ,

Movie Review: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

July 10, 2009 1 Comment

Have you, during Diwali times, ever put a can on those tiny little bombs only to watch it explode into smithereens or get flung away to unimaginable corners? Did you clap your hands in joy as it hit the nearby car or give yourself a high-five as you the shards of that erstwhile can fall to the ground? Then I believe you will love Transformers part deux too!

There are a lot of explosions, a lot of autobots and a lot of decepticons. There are the twins. There are the female autobots transforming into bikes (wiki search reveals three of them having a common consciousness, phew!) that got owned without too much of a fight, and there is the amazing devastator which seems like drawing upon its body parts by assembling a collection of automotives. There is Sam and Mikaela, with Sam doing the witwicky do and Mikaela holding her looks together. The useless parents for being comic and creating problems during the action sequence. There is Leo and Agent Simmons that add some more comic stuff (and I actually think they did add a few comic moments). But primarily, there are the large cool transforming machines that they call Transformers. The revival of an old decepticon “Jetfire” who walks around with a walking stick, and has chosen to switch sides and be with the autobots is quite funny in fact.  This is the quintessential Michael Bay with larger than life action, airplanes and tanks and people and machines exploding in your face, and the protagonist surviving all odds without having to explain why (or rather because he or she is the chosen one). Bayesian action gets contained by the dollars he can put aside, it seems. But it’s all good. It’s all fun. It’s all crazy. And that’s where the heart of the movie is (at least for me). I don’t want to watch a TROTF for its loopy/ retro/ kickass storyline, nor for the amazing acting skills of the team put together. All that is just frills or as we call it in my world, animation on the PowerPoint slides. The real stuff is the seriously “exploding” action. And there is plenty of it.

I and the others I watched with (Biwi, Sumant, Dodi & Divya) felt that this time round, it was far more difficult to differentiate between the good guys and the bad guys during the fight sequences. In many of the scenes, the action seemed muddled up and not very clear on who’s getting thulped. There was a time when Mr. Prime was getting thulped and I thought he was winning, and just when I thought he was getting thulped, he power charged his blades to crap the opposition.

Unsurprisingly, the movie gets bollywoodesque at times, with the hero almost dying before coming back to life, an Optimus Prime dying and getting revived and usual heroics from Galloway, Simmons et al.

Overall, I liked the movie a lot. For me, its 2 hours+ of engaging intense action sequences, and because Bay does not waste a time with pleasantries, I did not feel bad about him not developing the characters or explaining a few things here and there (like the leftover shard of the cube absorbed by Jetfire and never mentioned thereafter or the fact that if Devastator could have been taken out with a single strike, why not the other ones). My only grudge – Unlike Megatron from the first movie, “Fallen” looks like a pathetic and incompetent villain for such enormous action.

Watch it if you love explosive action. That’s what Transformers is all about. I will go in with a 4 on 5! It’s my kind of movie! J

BTW – my PJ from my Twit feed – what if instead of NEST/Autobots, Optimus Prime was chosen as the leader of a coalition government in India? He would be SUB-Optimus Prime-Minister

Filed under Movie Review Tagged with , , , , , , ,

Jump while every jump takes you a little higher

May 25, 2009 7 Comments

Email forward from my brother 🙂
These are surely pearls of wisdom that justify my third job 😉

Interesting…..Don’t miss last Questions…

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the ‘job hopper’ (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it…. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the ‘company loyal’ employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys – the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH

Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.

Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.

Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.

Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved
after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying ‘employer loyalty’. But I was an idiot.

Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a ‘permanent’ job, so I need not worry about ‘what will I do if I lose my job’. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.

Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.
A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being ‘company loyal’ and not ‘money earning and saving loyal’. But then you can save enough only
when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving – I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability.

Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me – can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the expected salaries.

Q: What have you gained by doing such things?
A: That’s the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my
salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without
variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the
company to give me a hike.

Q: So you decided on your own hike?
A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a ‘debt-free’ life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without waiting for the year to complete.

Q: So are you debt-free now?
A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for
money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.

Q: Who is complaining?
A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me – why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.

Q: What is your advice to professionals?
A: Like Narayan Murthy had said – love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company’s needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.

Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?
A: When a company does well, its CEO etc will address the entire company saying, ‘well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you.” But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO etc will say, “It is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go.” So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

Filed under Musings Tagged with

I see…

May 21, 2009 2 Comments

I see
a sea of people
waiting to be seen
Standing in queues
waiting for the summer
that has never been
In these cold parts
full of stones and harships
hoping to witness a craft unfold
lying awake
shivering with shame
narrating
experiences untold
hitherto unseen
of “will be” and “has never been”

Filed under Musings Tagged with

Priceless

April 21, 2009 Leave a comment

img_26621

Filed under Musings Tagged with ,

a short verse

April 19, 2009 Leave a comment

I once had the habit of writing short verses..
a friend of mine reminded me of that…
told me what she foresaw my future to be…
of my muse, poetry, heaven, and all that jazz…

Filed under Musings Tagged with ,

Mediocrity

April 12, 2009 4 Comments

Was talking to Mansi the other day, when she reminded of this thinking flaw a lot of my peer group and I had. When we graduated from B-school, a lot of us felt that there was a lot of mediocrity around us. We wanted to change the game, or the rules of the game, or make an impact, and or add value, or some intellectual trap like that. Almost 6 years hence, there are two groups – those who have stayed at the top of their game to still make excellence an aspiration. And those, who have joined the mediocrity race so that the environment doesn’t treat them like an outcast.

Filed under Musings Tagged with

Fiction Fragment: The Call

February 26, 2009 4 Comments

I waited and I waited. People think its ridiculous, and it was a misery I had brought upon myself. But I knew better. I knew what it meant to be responsible. At least I thought I knew.

That night too, it was 3AM and I was driving back home. I suddenly got a call from a very familiar voice on the other side. I was in a hurry to get back home, but that voice and that call made me pull over. My stomach was churning with the sensatiopnal feeling of bile juice rising up and down like a bucket full of water does when you try to drag it along on a high friction surface. I had not eaten anything for the last 18 hours. And even now, I knew that getting home would not mean that I would get something to eat. First, she was not at home. Second, I had finished off all the leftover stuff already. There was bottle of Gatorade though. Is there a roadside eatery open at this hour? I am sure there is. I just did not know which one and where. I hated that call. I had told them that I will be home in 15 minutes. Can’t they wait till then?

I had been with them on the phone for the last 4 hours. Talking, fighting, reasoning, debating… just getting ready for what was going to happen.

By the time the call got over, in all of about half a minute, I was seething with rage. WHY? WHY??? My whole evening flashed in front of me. The refusal to talk, cancellation of plans, leaving for friends place because waiting was just not worth it, my 4 hour marathon, my hungry growling stomach, everything.

He had said, “Stephen is busy. We won’t be having the call today. Its been pushed out for tomorrow. So, we have 24 more hours to work on this deck!”

Filed under Musings Tagged with ,

← Older posts

Newer posts →

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started