A Very Very Special Friend

August 19, 2012 1 Comment

Have you ever had a friend that you depend on without really being overtly worried about where they are at this very moment? The kinds you don’t bother to call for days and weeks and months, but you know they are there. The conversation with them starts seamlessly every time. Irrespective of the break. Maybe not so often, but they are the ones that you call when you really need to talk.

Today, I can feel a void. One such friend has decided to call it quits. Not be there. A very very special friend.

A little too much is said about Tendulkar (who kept me interested in cricket in an era where there was hardly anything going for indian cricket fan and all the “talent” was in Australia, Pakistan or West Indies), Ganguly (who brought the spunk in the team with shirtless heroics), Dravid (the wall that stood tall), Dhoni (the deliverer of the world cup), etc. But not so much about Kumble.. and this very very special guy from Hyderabad, Vangipuruppu Venkata Sai Laxman.

As a young cricket fan, I watched every match, every series, every tournament. Always hoping, never believing. Always knowing that it’s possible, always scared that it won’t happen. And then, “it” happened. On the third and the fourth and the fifth day of a test match in Eden Gardens. And whether I accept it or not, that was the day I stopped being scared. He became the friend that I did not talk about too often, but always knew that I could depend on him. He might have failed me a couple of times, but that’s ok. I never burdened him with the weight of my expectations, and he never acted like he didn’t care.

Dravid once wrote – “Nothing calms you like Laxman”. So true for the fans too. And while saying that, I am not discounting what a Sehwag or a Tendulkar or a Dravid had done already or were doing. But, here is a cricketer who did not have the odds going in his favor, who was the favorite scapegoat on the sacrificial altar, and who had been left out more often than he was called in. For a batsman of his caliber to not have played the world cup despite a 16 year long career, would be considered blasphemous in many countries, and I struggle to find an example so intimidating for the opposition, yet so indifferently treated by his own countrymen. And in the middle of all this, that sense of calm is enviable. I remember that 5 second jumper from Michael Jordan in 1998 against Utah Jazz. The remarkable thing was the sense of calm as he went up, and time stood still for a moment, as he downed the jumped. If I had to take a bet on someone who could do something similar for Indian cricket team, it would have to be VVS. And nothing brings it to the fore as acutely as the test match against west indies.

As Mukul Kesavan points out in his article in Telegraph today, someday, the statisticians will discount the value of VVS by looking at his sub-50 averages that “will strike the future fan as pedestrian”. But while the phone minutes run higher for your most recent girlfriend, the value of that single call made to that dear friend in that moment of need cannot be quantified. And you, VVS, have been one of the dearest friends of Indian Cricket.

 

(Image Courtesy: HindustanTimes)

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Movie Review: Ek Tha Tiger

August 15, 2012 7 Comments

It’s almost an insulting thing to do. An attempt to review Salman’s movies of late. It is. And yet, with my love for his irreverent acts, I do it. However, I have realized how to solve for it.
From here on, if I do a rating on his movies, I would use a rating scale of 1 to 5 salmans, instead of 1 to 5 stars or something like that. How much of Salman-ism did you see in the movie. And on that token, I think Dabangg was a solid 5 Salmans, Wanted was 4, Ready was 4 and Bodyguard was 3.5 or so. Each of these is a MEGA HIT. So, my conclusion right now is that a movie which has more than 3 Salmans rating will easily cross 100Cr+

Now, to ETT – Its a 3.5 Salman movie. My prophesy puts this one close to 200Cr.

This one actually has a plot, and if they had kept the topsy turviness for a bit more, it would have been great for the movie. They could have snipped a couple of emotional scenes for that.
This one has a brilliant Salman. It has some awesome action and chase sequences. Now, one of the gold standards for me is the initial chase sequence in Bond’s Casino Royale when Daniel Craig chases the dude forever. This one, due to the lack of similar athleticism, tries to make do with slo-mo camera work. And there’s more than one of them chases in the movie. SO, that was kinda neat. I think, and I think I am alone in thinking so – Katrina was brilliant in the movie. Some part of her accent still kills the dialogue, but for most part of the movie, she was the perfect foil to Salman. And believe you me – during the action sequences, I heard as many hoots and whistles for her as there were for Salman. So, dear body double of Katrina for the jumps and hoops, you were brilliant.

The let down is the music. This one does not have a Munni or a dheela character. Mashallah is an afterthought. The rest of the songs are not sticky. And in some ways, spoil the pace of the movie.

Kabir Khan’s life is not going to get bigger than this. I don’t think he has talent. I think he is an average guy with better than average luck on his side.

Ranvir Shorey is wasted, and barring a couple of scenes, Girish Karnad too. The movie is all about Salman. And Katrina. Katrina – you’re finally coming of age. And if my movie reviews are worth much, than you can see how my opinion of you has been evolving steadily. Just as your career.

Sallu bhai – tussi too much ho. Too much.

Dear Readers – those of you who love Sallu bhai – this movie, again, is a must watch. However, this time, the pseudo intellectuals can give it a try as well. I don’t think I know any real intellectuals visiting this blog – so I think I can skip that part.

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“The Dark Knight Rises” Falls

July 23, 2012 Leave a comment

First up, before you all go up in arms against me, remember that you’re talking to a die hard fan who has just come out after watching two back to back shows of the movie (one at a regular PVR and the other at IMAX), who’s debated the ins and outs of all three movies with friends over the years (and hours). That aside, I think the facebook based endearment of TDKR has failed to resonate with me. It’s almost a series of fanboys (like me) who are afraid of saying that the movie is not even in the same zipcode as what Nolan delivers so consistently. The movie is strictly OK. Not an epic finale to an epic trilogy. Nolan has given us the Joker. And Inception. And Nolan has given us a lot more. And with that barometer, normalized for time and scale, this might be his worst outing ever. And Nolan’s worst outing being an epic finale, seems like a mindless conclusion to me. We know he is capable of better.

YES. I could not help but compare it with the epic greatness that Nolan and Ledger delivered the last time. The scale of story-telling, the characters, and the field of vision of TDK were at a different scale. And so were the action sequences. The first movie had Ra’s-Al-Ghul played by Liam Neeson, who torments Bruce Wayne/ Batman. You cherish his doubt. You loath his moral high ground. Second movie had Joker. ‘Nuff said. This movie has Bane. And Talia. And the biggest bane of Bane is that one moment where he is reduced to being a monster in love, and Talia is reduced to being a carrier of her father’s will. The motives, though aligned with the league of shadows, are petty. For you know clearly that the motive is not the league. It is revenge.

No. I did not find the action to be jaw-dropping. The first sequence with the airplane is OK. The stadium sequence is wonderful. The end action sequence with the scale of manhattan, is OK OK. Haven’t we seen destruction at a bigger scale in Avengers, or Transformers already? So, what’s the jaw dropping part? Huh? Come again? Huh? No, I don’t agree…

TDKR has too many long and indulgent dialogues. It seems like people are talking and talking and talking. Quite frequently, the conversation tries to be profound. Like we are used to them being profound when Nolan’s writing. But its only every now and then that it actually is. Beyond a point, it plays with your patience.

And beyond a point, the story started resembling Jigar. Remember that Ajay Devgan movie. Back broken, dude fights back. All for revenge. Or, the Ganga Jamuna Saraswati style Amitabh. Can overcome all physical odds and a broken vertebrae fixed through with a punch, like only pahalwans on Najafgarh Road can do. The fact that Ra’s Al Ghul was mentioned and not Superman’s dad as the reason why Bane/ Talia decided to go rogue does not make it a tight plot. People need their reasons, as Joker would remind them.

The high point is the absolutely crackling Selina Kyle. She delivers. As a vixen thief with a heart. And looks perfectly natural in the action sequences. Marilon Coutillard’s La Vie En Rose is a piece to remember her for. Not TDKR. The usual suspects are the usual suspects. Though I must say that I like Levitt’s balance in acting.

And yeah, Hans Zimmer’s background score is phenomenal. Again.

You know a problem with a performance appraisal system? When you ace it in an year, you also build an expectation. SO, when you fail it next year, your fall from grace is harder. I won’t say that you should not watch the movie. Even if you sleep through it or read only the subtitles that Mumbai movie theaters have graciously started showing for language noobs like me, TDKR is a lot better than subjecting yourself to a Cocktail or Rowdy Rathore. Or, Kya Super Kool Hain Hum.

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Supermen, Untouchables, and Cocktails

July 16, 2012 7 Comments

I had a mixed bag weekend. Of the three movies that I watched, two left me speechless, and the third left me speechless too.

Let’s start the evening with Cocktails

I will start with the worst one. It is called Cocktail. It starred a star who’s started looking like a teen din purana naan (3-day old stale naan) – layers of rubber that stretch all you want without breaking, and is a bad idea for a good meal – Saif Ali. You can keep chewing on it, but it won’t get over. No, it won’t. Like this movie. Naan-sense movies should not be given ratins, but Naan-rating. It also stars Ms. Deepika Padukone, who I believe is going to be the biggest whistleblower for the industry someday (given the number of guys she has been associated with and actually knows a good deal about the performance(s) of). And then there is the new girl – Diana Penty. Enough has been said about her surname already, so I will spare her on that one. One of the things I have inferred about casting in bollywood is this – when they audition someone for a lead actress role, they surely would be asking a lot of questions – including surname, most likely. They definitely check your looks, the length of your legs, and the length of the shortest thing you’d wear to cover those legs. But somewhere they forget to ask a question, which should be the question – Can you act? That’s the only justification for Aishwarya, Deepika, Katrina, and the likes. Diana seems to be a protege of the Katrina school, and Deepika is already on her way to be the next Katrina. Deepika is in a hurry though, and started trying out acting too soon, I think. Why don’t you just come, do some jiggy wiggy chiggy wiggy, and get to take the hero home in the end? Agar yehi safedi, yahi jhaag, kam daamo mein mile to koi wo kyon le, ye na le? Btw, that slice advertisement that runs during every big cinema movie interval (yeah, the one with Katrina Kaif), could well be a saree, a condom, a vacation, or well, as an afterthought, a mango drink ad. It’s funny how the creative directors thought of the last option as the first.

The movie is so bad that there is only one thing that saved it from my wrath. The audience. Right behind me, we had a rather “vocal journalist” from burrp. He ensured that his reaction to every scene of the movie could be measured by the quality of his burrps. For a bad scene, two resounding burrps, and a small tiny one for the less harming scenes. Also, there were enough people in the theater who found something funny in every other scene. I envy them. They can find joy where none exists. They all are the true hermits. Siddhartha! Nevertheless, I shall move on to the joy that I could discover. On a somewhat positive note, the song Jugni was quite good. And finally, I conclude, it’s band jawani (of band baaja kinds). Not banned jawani, or behan jawani, or pained jawani, or something else.

From Naan to Supermen

What a movie!!! Really… Malegaon ka Superman runs close to 70 minutes or so. Getting up early and driving to Juhu was all worth the effort (and without breakfast too). Even PVR’s extremely messed up service level that early in the morning (9AM) could not take the taste away. The movie is almost a docu-movie. Handheld cameras, shaky angles, unplanned shots, candid camera moments, and the works. Loaded with innocence, the irony of movie making, an entire expose on 50K-100K movies, rural aspirations, society and life, the contradictions that people live every day, the small joys that keep them going. It never seems like the cast is acting, because most likely, they are not. Or maybe they are, and they are just too good. There is a point in the movie where the camera falls in water and the shoot is cancelled. Naseer, the director, is absolutely devastated who keeps convincing himself that it will be fine. And while keeping at it positively, he also keeps talking about the shooting delays of 2 days it might cause. All this while, the poor superman, shivering with cold, is floating on water on a tyre tube, trying to wade himself to the shore. That sequence tugs so hard at you with its poignant and ironical sense of humor that’s difficult to explain. The scene where the cinema (or video parlour) owners/ attendants run for their life just after they open the shutters, as throngs of people run each other over to get to the best seat in the parlour, and the expressions shown on their face (later in the movie) as they are watching a dubbed english movie, the shadow of the cigarette smoke, are priceless. Or, the four day delay caused because superman is getting married. I can keep going on forever about how a tightly edited, honestly crafted 70 minute movie(?) cobbled together with no stars whatsoever is worth more than hundreds of skin-shows like Cocktails that bollywood graces us with. The movie was screened under PVR’s Director’s Rare initiative (and the ticket was all of 70 bucks for the 9AM show). Yes, such movies are a rarity in our country. Rarely do people pack their bags and say thank you when they are done saying what they had to say. So, thank you Nasir Shaikh. For introducing us to the supermen of malegaon.

Touch the Intouchables

Intouchables touches you. And how beautifully. The movie doesn’t try to do too many things. It explores the relationship between an unlikey duo – a low society-from the projects-criminal background man taking care of and becoming a great friend to a filthy rich paraplegic. The story is full of pain and pity, and yet there is none. The movie overflows with genuine moments of connect between two people – not forced sentimental long dialogues, but two people who connect because they connect. Because there’s a spark to their conversations. Because they are naturally different. The lead actors are absolutely brilliant. Even the dubbing was quite fine, but I wouldn’t mind just the subtitles as well. One thing that needs a mention – background score. It was pitch perfect. And the strip down of most melodramatic moments is brilliant. There are some butchered sacred cows as well – the way Driss replaces Chopin, Beethoven and Mozart with the music from Kool and the gand and the likes, and gets the drab party on its feet, or Phillip’s hitler moustache moment, or the furious laughter during an opera. The movie has such comic moments that you forget the tragedy that underlies them. Right from the way Driss lifts Phillippe like a puppet and his body hangs about limply, to the life in the projects, and the coversations between Driss and Lyovanne. Here’s one from Driss – “There’s no way I am emptying another man’s ass. It’s a matter of Principle. Stockings were bad, but I did it. But there’s no way I am emptying another man’s ass.”

It’s a beautifully told true story. So, if you think you just wasted 300 bucks on Cocktail, please go and watch Intouchables. There aren’t too many shows of that movie, and most likely it will be off the screens this Friday, once the Dark Knight returns.

 

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aisa hota, waisa hota (ऐसा होता, वैसा होता)

June 20, 2012 1 Comment

उसका सर काँधे पे होता
ऐ खुदा कुछ ऐसा होता
हम भी थोडा मुस्कुराते
गर कभी कुछ वैसा होता

सोचता क्या ख्वाब होंगे
उन हसीन पर्दों के पीछे
मेरे रातों का भी साया
उनके ख़्वाबों जैसा होता

हाय वो चेहरे पे हल्की सी हँसी हल्का सा ग़म
इन बदलते मौसमों में एक मौसम वैसा होता

आज की तहरीर होती, कल की दो-इक ख्वाहिशें
मेरे दिल का हाल सुन कर उनका दिल भी ऐसा होता
कुछ भटकता, कुछ बहलता, और थोडा खुशनुमा
ऐसा होता, वैसा होता, जाने कैसा कैसा होता….

 

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RD – The Man, The Possibility

March 15, 2012 2 Comments

(Image Courtesy: Internationalreporter.com)Haven’t blogged much, because more often than not I am not sure if what I am going to write is allowed by organization’s social media policy or not. Despite the blog being all personal thoughts and rants and what not.

Nevertheless, I am sure you all know about the retirement of probably the best match savior (and hence, winner) of India – Rahul Dravid. There are reams and reams of great articles out there. So, I won’t add to that pile.

I have just one thing to say about why I am so fascinated by him – He makes me believe that I can be like him. Great. Without my greatness being a gift of God as is the case with a Sachin or a Laxman or a Lara or a Warne or a Ponting.

RD – Thanks for showing an entire generation of players how it’s done. Because that’s how it’s done.

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Theater Watch: Nothing Like Lear

February 12, 2012 1 Comment

After Hamlet, the Clown Prince, the expectations from Rajat Kapoor and Atul Kumar’s combo (Cinematograph and the Company Theater) were high. Nothing Like Lear starts with a similar setup, but hardly anything similar in execution. Unlike the theatrics, the collective effusion and humor in Hamlet, Lear depends on the brilliance of Atul, since it is, but, a monologue.

I consider myself reasonably well read, but not enlightened in equal proportions. So, yes, I had read shakespeare’s dark work quite some back, but of course, I do not remember quite a few fine details and all the underlying tragedy. So, the first fifteen minutes were tough on me. I was trying to remember just as I was trying to be in the moment. The point where I let go of this trying to remember, I drew the same conclusion as I did the last time I saw Hamlet – these guys are brilliant. What an interpretation! For Rajat and Atul to merge so many characters, right from Lear to Edward to the fool to the sisters, into one actor and so beautifully, I fail to imagine what level of intellectual and theatrical brilliance would have been required.

This play is not the funny and hilarious kinds that Hamlet was. So don’t expect a laugh riot. There are the usual pepperings of jokes and fooling around with the audience. Bu this play is tragic. And there are times when the drama gets you.

I must mention here how effortlessly the clown moves from being just a clown to being a set piece in that epic tragedy, and Atul right now, would probably rate as one of the finest theater actors we have. Right up there with a Naseer.

I dont want to speak too much, for the real joy of the sunrise is in seeing it, and not just hearing telltales about the round burning globe of fire in some poet’s soliloquy. Go watch it. You may compare it with Hamlet, and say that Hamlet was better, but that does not make this one be nothing.

 

This, to me, is what theater should be – brilliant intrpretations, great execution, and out of this world performances.

 

4.5 on 5 for me. Hamlet was a 5, of course.

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Movie Review: Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

February 12, 2012 Leave a comment

I saw Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu Friday night, and was fascinated by my end reaction to the movie. I did not expect it to be what I came out to be – Good!

I have maintained it for some time that Imran is Bollywood’s answer to Hugh Grant. Looks like a douche/chom, can’t act much, mumbo jumbos most of his dialogues, and is almost perfect for low involvement rom-coms.Remember Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa/ I Hate Love Storys?

Kareena, as well, is absolutely cut out for these roles. Chirpy girl with loads of attitude and brashness, keeping some of her issues under layers of enthusiasm, with about 15 minutes reserved for some sadness and drama. She is a reasonably good actress, who is lazy and risk averse.

The movie, I conclude, is a very pleasant rom-com. It is short, doesn’t prolong anyone’s agony (including that of the viewers), does not try to take things to an (Indian) logical conclusion, and keeps most of the songs in the background.The music is fine, though disappointing on the back of my expectations from Amit Trivedi ( after Dev D, Udaan, Aamir and the likes). Surprisingly, the chemistry between Imran and Kareena is quite good.

Sorter than 120 minutes is an achievement in indian cinema. Strike one.

Crisp editing is an aberration rather than a rule. Strike two.

Jokes are not necessarily loaded with sexual innuendos, and dive more from conersational wit and timing. Strike three.

 

I went in with low expectation, and mostof them were beaten. So, i was happy. Only one word of caution – either watch it in a theater where everyone loves commenting (or, “interacting” with the screen). Or, where no one does. BUT, not in a thrater where only the person next to you believes in repeating the onscreen dialogues, along with a laughter track for effects. Gubbare.. Ha ha haha. Dinner.. Ha ha ha ha.

 

This movie is (in another douchebag’s style) a “3 on 5 for me, along with a thumbs up”. Go watch it, because it’s not a genre that is usually well made in India.

 

Note: Watch it only once. Which means, that you should watch it with wife/girl-friend/… Because in case they drag you in for a second time because you saw it with someone else (colleagues/boyfriend/…), you may experience serious self-loathing syndrome (at this stage, it’s just a hypothesis).

 

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Movie Review: Agneepath works… and quite well too

January 29, 2012 Leave a comment

The first 15 minutes of Agneepath set the pace of the movie. Right from the idyllic Mandwa, to masterji and viju’s relationship, to viju’s deep rooted anger, and the two key lesssons – Pehelwan, and Ageneepath. Things happen fast, and then Kancha enters the screen. Kancha is a villain of the Gabbar Singh era. When he walks in, there aren’t too many other people that you notice on the screen. He is huge to the point of being grotesque, evil, insane, and cunning. He would not stop at anything to get his way. Things happen, and Viju is now in Mumbai. Now comes Rauf Lala. Its difficult (for me) to imagine that the ultimate candy star who survived the eras of many superstars can be made to look so mean and gross. You hate him. You hate his character. And in the middle of all this, the biggest thumbs up goes to that little boy Vijay (Arush Bhiwandiwala) who beats the crap out of Hrithik Roshan’s Vijay Deenanath Chauhaan. The anger, resentment, fearlessness of younger vijay overshadows the sad and despondent anger of the older Vijay. That does not mean I have anything against Hrithik’ portrayal. This would probably be one of his best performances till date (I haven’t see Guzaarish). But, this was one place where Amitabh’s Vijay was difficult to carry off. Amitabh’s Vijay was angry. Hrithik’s Vijay is as angry as he is sad and melancholic.

Agneepath of 2012 had a lot of weight to carry on its shoulders. Much like that scene where Hrithik lifts the bulky humongous frame of Sanjay Dutt. I read somewhere that he “really” did lift Dutt while doing that scene. I saw yesterday that Agneepath 2012 did lift the weight of Agneepath 1991. Commendably so. I would be a prude if I were to intellectualize the whole experience and find flaws with this version. Bottomline was that while the movie was on, I really enjoyed it. Agree, it’s a little long drawn, but hey!

The movie has its share of flaws. Few more loopholes than the earlier one. The 1990 version was a very intense movie, which but for the couple of Mithun-Neelam moments was fairly charged. This movie makes the same mistake, in somewhat greater proportions. The Romance of Mithun-Neelam is replaced by the Hrithik-Priyanka romance and the birthday song was definitely avoidable. Also, based on what I’ve seen of Hrithik so far, he can pull of the torn/sad hero quite well, but he is not the “angry young man”. On hindsight, I can picture Ajay Devgan do a better job of that. One sequence where the entire audience holds its breath in the 90 version, is when Shiksha is abducted by Shetty and Vijay runs through the narrow lanes of Dharawi to get to Shetty. That scene, despite a far more powerful Rishi Kapoor this time, does not have the same intensity. And the end, dramatic as it was in the earlier version, is a lot more idiotic this time (and I don’t meant Sanjay Dutt on top of Hrithik, literally speaking true though)

However, it’s a movie worth watching. Excellent performances from the lead cast including Priyanka Chopra. Arush (younger Vijay) is absolutely top class. Dutt and Rishi Kapoor are exception. Hrithik is brilliant and Priyanka is just about right. Zareena Wahab, Om Puri, Kanika Tiwari (Shiksha, played by Neelam in 1990 version) are all well-cast. The editing is good except for a few places and the movie moves at a very engaging pace. Some of the sequences are beautifully shot (especially the Ganpati Visarjan shot and the scene where Sanjay Dutt is dragging Master Dinanath Chauhan). Music, except for a couple of unnecessary songs, does not hamper the pace of the movie. Background score is good.

End Note: Brilliant masala movie with a lot of entertainment and some absolutely brilliant performances. 4 on 5 for me. Watch it, I say. 

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डर और उम्मीद (Fear and Hope)

January 27, 2012 Leave a comment

आज की रात
हवाओं के परों पर
गिरती दिख रही है
कोई परछाई…
मुझे अँधेरे से डर नहीं लगता है.
मगर ये जानता हूँ
अंधेरों की परछाइयों को
कितना वक्त लगता है…

ढलने में, पिघलने में.

नहीं कोई घर बना है
मेरे डर का.
न कोई उम्र बाबस्ता हुई है
मेरे डर की.

मैं ये भी जानता हूँ कि
सुबह की रौशनी
अब उस किनारे है
जहां कुछ लोग
आवाजें दिया करते हैं उस को
जिसके ये सारे इशारे हैं.

मैं उन आवाजों में
ढूँढा किया करता हूँ
कुछ गजलें.

जिन्हें तुमको सूना कर
कुछ नए से
रंग भर दूं.
अपने डर में
अपने डर को
काबू कर लूं.

कोई कहता है की हंस दो
डर पे या मुश्किल पे …
वो डर जाते हैं.
उन्हें लगता है की
ये कैसा दीवाना है…
कितना सयाना है…

जो मुरझाए हुए फूलों को
दे के
उस सनम से कहता फिरता है.
की ये ले –

इनमे न ओस की बूँद
न खुशबू का शुमार है.
मगर ये सच की इक डाली है,
इक पुरकैफ बहार है.

की जिसको थाम कर
तुम से समझ जाओगी की
नहीं होते हैं पाँव
डर-ओ-मुश्किल के
नहीं होते
नुकीले हाथ उनके.
उनका तो बस होता है
धुंधला सा चेहरा.
वो चेहरा
जिसको उस रब ने बनाया है.
और चेहरों से क़त्ल नहीं होते,
तुझे किसी ने उल्लू बनाया है.

यही कह कर वो छोटी से परी
आँखों से ओझल हो गयी है.
वो बादल की परछाई
आँखों से उतर कर
झील के पहलू में
सूरज का नया इक अक्स ले कर
इस सुबह फिर
ढल सी गयी है.
जिंदगी फिर से
सहल सी हो गयी है.

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Book Review: The Wednesday Soul by Sorabh Pant

January 27, 2012 2 Comments

It’s been a while since I reviewed a book. But the blogadda.com book review program and the fact  that I signed up for reviewing will make me come out of my slumber. And the book getting unveiled is “The Wednesday Soul” by Sorabh Pant, who is also a stand-up comedian by the day.

Plot Summary: The book is primarily about the afterlife experience of Nyra Dubey, a female vigilante , Chitr Gupta, a higher mortal/ demi-God, and their super-powered nemesis, Kutsa. The broader blurb is available on the publisher website. But in short – Girl is a vigilante, meets and likes an interesting guy one night who’s apparently invulnerable and can read people’s innocence in their eyes through a score, has a nemesis who’s despatched a few too many people to the nether world. Girl like guy, nemesis kills girl, guy and nemesis die in a clash. A whole battery of support characters come into play as the afterlife world is constructed, while the broken fragments of the mortal world come together as well. Etc Etc.

The concept of a “Wednesday soul” or “Sunday Soul” though, I believe, is driven off our expectations and evolving lifestyles. The mid-week peaking frustration making people suicidal to the Sunday being the most sacred of all days. Nyra, the central character, is a Wednesday soul, people who subconsciously drive themselves to death (say, by overworking, over-eating, putting themselves in the path of danger).

Liked : Many of the jokes and potshots. Right from Lenin spewing Russian comedy to Indian PhD in queues, to Agatha Christie connecting with Inspector Sharma in Sanskrit. The pace is fine, if not submerging. You can finish off the book in one go (or two). Its not a very complicated story, and you can get the sense that there are several ideas introduced in the book that can easily help you create more stories/ books around them. The book is irreverent and there are no holy cows in the book. And that’s where the books biggest strength is. The funny potshots at everyone and everything.

Did not like: The story at large and the narration leaves much to be desired. Far too many loop holes in the story (the character of Harithi and her ability to score cadavers for instance), and fairly incoherent storyline (Inspector Sharma’s character, or Agatha’s link with the world starting off with British English in Harithi’s head and Sanskrit instructions later), the idea of “Thinkers” viewing what’s going on in the world, but not being able to locate the Third, and the missing Sunday Soul. However, the thing that really got me was the editing and printing of the book (at least the edition I have in my hands). It’s a mess. So much so that it reminds me of Times of India. For instance – the editing jumps refers to a flying eledactyl (an elephants -pterodactyl) as Air-Awat, Ayr-Awat or Ayrawat at different places. Insignificant editing errors such as these are present in significant numbers across the book. The bigger peeve I have against the book is actually the quality of editing. The narration and character sketch is hardly consistent. Inspector Sharma graduates from good English to grammatically incorrect English in the later half. The beings do not exist in the same plain consistently. A weird character (in the earthly sense) like Chitr Gupta, fighting off goons in a lowly locality of Delhi thinks of Grey’s Anatomy and Literary Jokes in his head. There’s a subliminal level of awareness that makes most characters speak in the same language/style and intonation and binds them to the same awareness about different things, issues and people. 87 rewrites do not seem visible from an editing lens I think.

End Verdict: At 250, this one session book seems very steep. For an INR99 kind of price established by Chetan Bhagat, this book could have been a passable read. It’s a book that showcases Sorabh’s abilities as a funny person, but not as a narrator/ story-teller. What really works is that Sorabh is a stand up comedian, a funny guy, in short. What really doesn’t work is that the book does not go much beyond that. It’s a series of gags, puns, pot-shots woven together. The book has some extremely funny moments, or gags as I’d rather refer to them as. But I wouldn’t mind missing out on this book. The book is like a DJ mix of spoofing and puntastic commentary on the world beyond and the powers that be. You may dance the night, but you won’t remember why.

********************

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

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Wake Me Up When You’re Done

January 21, 2012 1 Comment

(Warning: long post.
Disclaimer: Views are completely my own and independent of any of my personal and professional associations)


Another season of recruiting is almost about to come to an end. And this season again, I had the privilege of interacting with our bet for the future (the IITs, IIMs, etc.)

Lest people call me a pessimist, let me call out the positives first. The resumes and the interests these young students have are a lot more varied. The number of funny little clubs and posts held by students has increased too. And I have been pleasantly surprised to find a large number of them actually doing some work as part of those responsibilities. People have, generally speaking, started being better at speaking the working language- English. Their spoken English has improved with the advent of sitcoms like Friends and Two-and-a-half-men. They are more ambitious. And now, I think I am stretched too thin.

I have gradually come to hate campus recruiting. Companies have lost it (with 10-minute interviews to select, hoarding students in a corner so that other companies cannot meet them, etc.). And students have totally lost it (most of them come unprepared, with a lot of attitude, and want life to served to them on a platter). But most importantly, it reinforces my belief that our education system has become dumber since I graduated (and it wasn’t smart then either). The number of students who walk in and give you the impression that they are a mistake (on the part of their campus and their own self) and that they just don’t deserve to be sitting in that room has increased. I remember back in 2004-05 or so, campus interviews used to be more exciting and challenging, because the choice between really smart cookies who are passionate enough to give it their best shot was an interesting problem for us. It was a problem of plenty. These days, we have loads of people who might have been smart in 2004-05, but have since decided that they are done being smart or hardworking. Now they want things to be served on a platter to them, by Google or Facebook preferably. More people retweet than have their own share of links to share.

Anyway, based on the last few years, here is what I would suggest to the future breed of students. Assuming that they are not all about – I am god’s gift to humanity and I need to be treated such. And that being someone who looks at them from the other side of the table, I might have a couple of valuable inputs to offer.

1. Be realistic. Consulting/ Private Equity etc. are glamorous, but across the premier firms, the best case scenario is that some 60-80 people from your campus are going to be placed in these firms. At an IIT, it means only 8-10% of the people. And that’s the best case. Are you likely to be one of them? What have you done to deserve it? Before you ask questions like “why do you only look at grades?” and reveal that you don’t have good grades, ask yourself questions like “what have I done that tangibly differentiates me from others” or “What are the three reasons that a company X should hire me for?”. And, those reasons need to be NOT something that your entire campus will quote as differentiators.

2. Prepare. If it isn’t too much effort, do not watch the 55th rerun of Friends or Two-and-a-half-men or something like that. Instead spend an hour talking to your seniors about the interviews they had and what worked and what did not work for them. If you follow step 1 well, then your target list of companies cannot be more than 15-20 company long. Across 3-4 years, taking out 15-20 hours to read about these companies should not be a big effort. Assuming that the games, and EPL/F1 schedules allow you to. I know there is so much to invest time on and so little time.

3. Prove that you are smart enough to not repeat like everyone else – I want to do consulting because I am a good problem solver, and it offers me a lot of variety. The number of times field consultants may end up being at the same client for 3-5 years is not funny. Many senior Partners build successful careers by helping grow relationships at a single client by being that credible partner who is not bored of going back to the same client and solving their problems. Also, many-a-times, the job is about doing things right over and over again for a very long period of time, without losing your patience with a client, and that problem solving that gives you the kick in consulting, may end up being about 10% of the first 5 years of your life. Possible. Thought about it? Never? Why?

4. Learn to speak well. That guy next to you who occasionally talks in good and proper English (even on Facebook) is not pansy. Not even a “chom”. He or she probably has a better chance of having a more client ready conversation than you. Unfortunate, but the fact is that your ability to have a good conversation is about two things – listening first, and speaking second. Not speaking first, and not listening because you are the smarter one and can get away with not listening properly. Practice. In front of a mirror at times. Take those opportunities to be in front of an audience. And don’t worry too much about the “accent”. Even your bihari or tamil or bong or gujju or dally accent is fine, as long as you speak slowly, and clearly.

5. Be humble. God, in his infinite wisdom, has let so many people take birth that most of us have not bothered to keep the count of (unless we are doing market sizing). And while most of us are so, there are precious few of us who deserve to be treated as god’s gift to humanity. The person who is interviewing you from the other end has almost as much a right to be that gift, as you do. And both of you have no such rights, by the way. A 5-50lakh job does not make either of you extra special. So, stop acting like a snob. Give respect, get respect. That open button, that loose tie (bad knots), unclean shirt, unshaven look, punk dishevelled hair, etc. – yeah, we all were thirteen once!

6. A job is a relationship. If you did not get through, the company did not deserve you (in a good or bad way) and you did not deserve the company. If you want it badly, analyze and prepare again. Keep knocking politely. If it was just a backup, move on. Companies act big because you’ve made them something bigger than what they are. Just as IIT/ IIM students tend to act big, because companies have made them bigger than they are. In a relationship, both the parties commit and invest. Show your investment first before you expect the other party to invest.

7. Likewise, a job interview is an interaction. People ask you cases because they experience cases. People ask you mundane questions because life, in general, has a lot of mundaneity. Do you know how many times a Partner in a consulting firm might have to answer that dumb question – tell me something about yourself” in a day? With new clients, to new people, at new forums, without being prompted with a question, they always introduce themselves in a way that makes it interesting and relevant for starting a good conversation. Give a cue. Get people interested in your story. It’s your chance to sell your abilities and fit with your client (the interviewer). It’s ok to flirt without being cheesy or corny. Show your wit without rubbing it off snobbishly. Be relaxed, but not frivolous.

8. PLEASE set right expectations with your parents and yourself. Those newspaper articles that suggest a 70L salary to a B.Tech graduate etc, we know the truth, right? 2 people across forty three thousand five hundred colleges mass producing over a million engineers every year? Dollar salaries multiplied by 50? Median salary of the batch is still 6-8 lakhs at an IIT, I believe? On an average, an average person cannot be better than the average. Also, you were better than the average to get inside a premier college. That does not mean that you are still better than the average in the lot that you are studying with now. Chances are that more than half of you will be below average (not median), assuming pareto rule applies. So, if your parents and your society is going to harass you because you did not make the headlines, the real answer is that IT’S ABSOLUTELY FINE IF YOU DID NOT!!!

9. Use common sense. If you can. You have it. Just learn to use it.

10. Lastly, use your five sense. If you’re boring the person in front, stop. Right there. And adapt. It’s a date going wrong. If the interviewer has lost interest in your story, there could be a chance that they have lost their interest in you.

Otherwise, just wake ’em up when you’re done boring. You might’ve hit some oil that they failed to notice.

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Aapki Yaad Aati Rahi (Makhdoom/ Chaya Ganguly)

January 20, 2012 6 Comments

Here is a ghazal by Makhdoom Mohiuddin and beautifully rendered by Chaya Ganguly.

What follows is my feeble attempt at a literal translation (hoping that I don’t add my interpretation to it)

Aap ki yaad aatee rahee raat bhar
Chashm-e-nam muskaratee rahee raat bhar

The night was haunted by your memories
And my teary eyes smiled all night long

Raat bhar dard ki shamma jaltee rahee
Gham ki lau thartharatee rahee raat bhar

The candles of pain kept the night awake
And the flames of sadness kept flickering all night long

Bansuri ki surilee suhanee sada
Yaad ban ban kay aatee rahi raat bhar

Ah, the sweet soulful yearning of the flute
Kept tugging at my memories all night long

Yaad kay chaand dil mein utartay rahay
Chandni jagmagatee rahi raat bhar

As the moons of a memory would set in my heart
The moonlight kept shining like a beacon all night long

Koee deevana galiyon mein phirta raha
Koee aawaz aati rahi raat bhar

A forelorn lover kept wandering the streets
And a voice could well be heard all night long

*************************************************************
When Makdhoom died, Faiz wrote the following lines in his memory (“Makhdoom ki yaad mein”–Faiz Ahmed Faiz)

“Aap ki yaad aati rahi raat bhar”
chaandni dil dukhaati rahi raat bhar

The night was haunted by your memories
And the moonlights made my heart bleed all night long

gaah jalti hui, gaah bujhti hui
shamm-e-gham jhilmilaati rahi raat bhar

Restlessly, it flickered at times, at times it didn’t
The flame of sadness kept shining all night long

koi khushboo badalti rahi pairahan
koi tasveer gaati rahi raat bhar

A fragrance kept changing its body all night
And a portrait kept singing all night long

phir sabaa saaya-e-shaakh-e-gul ke talay
koi qissa sunaati rahi raat bhar

And again, in the shades of blossomed tree
A gentle breeze narrated some tales  all night long

jo na aaya use koi zanjeer-e-dar
har sadaa par bulaati rahi raat bhar

The chains of the courtyard, with every call,
Sought him, who did not turn up, all night long

eik ummeed se dil behalta raha
ik tamanna sataati rahi raat bhar

A hope kept my heart at bay
And a desire kept burning within all night long

(Faiz–Sept 1978, Moscow)

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Chapter 4: Iti Kaand (The Final Chapter): Boomerang

January 17, 2012 Leave a comment

Finale of the story. Chapter 1, 2 and 3 posted earlier.

******

His head was buzzing. After trying to call Caddy for the last three hours for some work and failing to get through, he had called one of his reports. That’s how he came to know. He immediately checked in on the others. He could not get through to any of them. Sweating profusely, he checked the news articles from the local newspapers online. Four victims identified. Fifth not identified. But the photograph? No mistaking him. And her. All five of them were dead. This couldn’t be a coincidence. He immediately left the office. He felt like puking. But he had to get away. Before anyone noticed. He took a taxi to Marine Drive. On a weekday afternoon, it doesn’t take long to get there.

He had been staring at the ocean for the last eight hours since then. But all he could feel right now was a dark emptiness. And fear. He had gone through all the details a few times over. Finally, around midnight, he felt convinced that his living in a narrow street of Mumbai, as against the others being in different parts of US would make him untraceable. It was easier to track bloody Americans. Serves them right.

He took the last train back. Usually, these trains are deserted. The compartment he picked was quite, and there were 5-6 passengers sitting in different corners of the compartment. He stood closer to the gates trying to get some fresh air. The distance between Churchgate and Andheri can be quite a bit when time is not on your side. The world seems to desert you at Dadar. Or join you. Tonight, it didn’t. By the time, the train inched into the Bandra station, there were only three of them left. As the train left Bandra, the other two had moved closer to each other. For a moment, he wondered if they were after him. They were having a conversation in hushed voices. At Vile Parle they got up. By the time, the train left the station, they were standing very close to him. He could see that one of them had his hands in his pocket. His mind was playing tricks with him. Or not. The limbo can kill you, without really doing nothing. Or, by doing nothing. The train had gained momentum. The two had started necking. He felt comfortable. At Andheri station, he got down. They did too.

He walked hurriedly to catch an auto-rickshaw. Just as he was about to get down at his apartment in a not so dreamy suburb of the city of dreams, his cellphone started ringing. He hated the default ringtone. He did not know how to change it though. He took out his wallet with his right hand as he picked the call from his left hand. He did not recognize the voice at the other end. Just as the voice asked him to, he turned around. He could see two autorickshaws comings. Both of them stopped right behind his autorickshaw. From the first one, the couple from the train got down. They either were a couple that had a fight before they came aboard the train at Churchgate, or there was a price tag. It would be good to know the price tag. The other auto had an old men getting down. Is he the one? How long do I need to wait? “The couple”, the voice on the phone answered the question he did not ask.

His heart skipped a beat. The couple came closer. The man had his hands in the pocket. He could feel his heart beat louder, and the world around him slowed down to a dramatic slow-motion as the man started taking his hands out of his pocket. He was aware of everything. The old man moving towards the main entrance of the building, the red ford escort pulling over in a distance, the security guards sitting by the tiny fire not expecting any visitors at this time of the night, the girl chewing on a gum which had most likely lost its taste if one were to observe the the wider and rhythmic motions of her mouth, and pulling something out of the hip pocket of her faded navy blue jeans, his own autorickshaw about to take a U-turn and the driver bending down to spit on the other side of the road. He wanted to focus on the guy’s hand just as much as he wanted to run inside the building, but something about the twitch in the girl’s eye made him look at her. She was handing him a small piece of paper.

“Money was lost, Money was found.
What goes around, comes around.
1 played 5, but 1 played 6.
5 are dead. Are you in a fix?”

“Gotcha!”, the man said.

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Chapter 3: Adi Ityaadi (Etc. Etc.)

January 16, 2012 1 Comment

Chapter 1 here, and chapter 2 here.

**

Adi had just turned around and left. His lack of bitterness seemed bitter than the anger that the others had felt. She watched him go towards the other apartment down the street. Just as she was about to close the door, she saw another person walk up to the doorstep.

“Found You!”

**

He turned around to leave. Lisa seemed to have left something unsaid. But he neither had the time nor the desire to know. It didn’t seem like anyone else was at home with Lisa. Adi had to hurry. And he hurried. The weather had not changed. The gloomy weather was not helping him at all.
He found 215 soon enough, across the vacant patch of land right next to 214. Just as he was getting inside 215, he thought he saw another man outside 214. He did not pay attention. He went in.
Thirty minutes later, he came out feeling better. He had got the job. Of a driver. Engineer by education. Driver. Seemed about right. As he walked past 214, his eyes followed the door of 214, and it was open. He looked down, to avoid making eye contact. The trickling blood was unmistakable. He traced it back to the door. Lisa was there. Dead. He couldn’t breathe. He stood transfixed for what seemed like an eternity. And then he noticed the guy coming out from the house.
“Gotcha too! Ain’t this my lucky day?”

**

Two men stepped out of a restaurant. As they walked down, they laughed at their shared joke. Happens a lot with people who’ve known each other for over a decade. Their jokes don’t seem funny to the man wearing the flat cap. The man in the NorthPoint jacket seemed to be smiling though. He would have plenty of time to explain/ tell the tales. Both of them, however, knew that they did not have time right now.

“Adi..”

Both of them turned around. Lifelong habit, this.

“Missed me?”, the man wearing the golf cap said.  Three muffled gunshots. Three dead bodies. And a flat cap by the pavement.

**

A cell phone was ringing somewhere. It was a distinct ringtone, the kinds that kids set up on their parents’ mobile phones when they are trying to record their own screams and shouts. He had three kids, most likely. At least, three young voices could be heard. He was a tall man. Wore Ferragamo shoes, swayed as he walked, expensive cufflinks on a custom stitched shirt. The carpet was an intricate Kurdish hand made work, which he had picked on one of his leisure trips to Turkey. He almost instinctively wiped his right shoe at the back of his left leg, arched his back suggestive of lower back disorders, and bent down to pick his mobile. He smiled as he recognized the number. He checked his watch, as he whispered dangerously.

“About time…”

The call lasted thirty seconds. He seemed visibly pleased. The only thing he said during the entire conversation was, “Make sure he knows…”

**

In the shadows of Mount Everest, there are several small villages closer to the India-Nepal border. These borders are so porous, that even the inhabitants don’t realize at times if they are a resident of India or of Nepal. People here will tell you that the mountains have memories. Elephants have long memories. Mountains, longer.

**

 

 

Tomorrow: The Final Chapter (Boomerang)

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